Grandparent fostering a grandchild?

spirit

Gets the popcorn for another of bluelass' pointless posts.

FBaby

I agree with the sentiment that 'fostering' your own grandchildren is a really sad concept and I can't imagine what kids must feel like when they feel that they are not only not good enough for their parents, but can only live with their grandparents if they act like foster parents. It sounds like the only reason to have gone down that route is to maximise finances, as otherwise, they could have just claimed CB and tax credits, so if that is indeed the reasoning behind it, then I think the system has gone completely mad.

gettingtheresometime

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I'm guessing you mean the one on Radio 4? Agree, it's a useful basic guide!

Also worth reading up on Mooloo's threads, she's doing exactly this.

Oops sorry yes.

Very rarely do I listen to something that forces me to stay in the car when I!!!8217;ve arrived so that I can finish listening to an episode but this was one of them. I really hope they are able to do a follow up on the children

Detroit

FBaby wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment that 'fostering' your own grandchildren is a really sad concept and I can't imagine what kids must feel like when they feel that they are not only not good enough for their parents, but can only live with their grandparents if they act like foster parents. It sounds like the only reason to have gone down that route is to maximise finances, as otherwise, they could have just claimed CB and tax credits, so if that is indeed the reasoning behind it, then I think the system has gone completely mad.

As mentioned, there may have been no choice. Once the children became the responsibility of the authorities, it would be necessary to ensure suitable arrangements were in place. Sometimes these are informal, sometimes not. The formal route has the advantage of enabling the grandparents to access various support, including financial.

I disagree this is sad in the way I believe you mean it.

Grandparents have usually moved beyond the period in their lives when they were responsible for children, with all the additional financial burden that brings.

I have great empathy for those who may have thought their child rearing days beyond them, and possibly planned their finances accordingly, yet suddenly find themselves stepping in again; and think it entirely appropriate they access any additional funding they are entitled to as foster parents.

As for the children, while I see no suggestion they are told they are not good enough, as it's clearly the parents with the difficulties, nothing can remove the sadness of the parental situation. However, this is likely to be greatly minimized by living with known, and presumably loving, family members rather than strangers.

I doubt the children would care less if there was money involved, if they even knew. After all, they may well benefit directly from a greater household income.

Sadly there are significant numbers of grandparents in this situation, and while many find great satisfaction in their role, they are nevertheless performing a challenging role unlikely to be of their choosing (as they would no doubt prefer the child' parents were able to cope). Their contribution should be valued and financial support not begrudged.

seashore22

FBaby wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment that 'fostering' your own grandchildren is a really sad concept and I can't imagine what kids must feel like when they feel that they are not only not good enough for their parents, but can only live with their grandparents if they act like foster parents. It sounds like the only reason to have gone down that route is to maximise finances, as otherwise, they could have just claimed CB and tax credits, so if that is indeed the reasoning behind it, then I think the system has gone completely mad.

I don't find it sad either that a grandparent may have to go through official hoops and foster their grandchildren.

I would bring up my own grandchildren in a heart beat if it was necessary, but it would mean a serious hit on our finances. We could just about manage without any extra funding, but it would be tight and the children would probably have to go without as a result. Many potential grandparent carers would be far worse off than us and really need the extra money. In any case it's money for the children's care and quality of life, not a nice little earner for the grandparents.

seashore22

My last comment was part of an interesting debate on this subject and in no way endorses the op's ridiculous post. Just felt the need to make that clear.

pollypenny

Here we go again!

A great problem - for someone else.

Fireflyaway

Its preferable for a child to be fostered by a family member than be sent to live with strangers. The local authority have a duty to protect the child so probably will ask for the foster carer to go on a course even if they are a relative and yes foster carers are paid so why wouldn't she be?

Pollycat

Bath cube
What is the basis for your concern?
That your colleague is receiving benefits for caring for this child who is a relative?
Worry that the Father may somehow get unsupervised access to the child?
Concern that your colleague may lose the child into the care system?

TBH, if any of my colleagues had told me such a story, I wouldn't have posted it on a public forum.
I think that's a pretty shabby thing for you to have done.
If your colleague has any sense, she'll keep her mouth firmly shut about her business within earshot of you.

thorsoak

Sitting on my hands (after this post) on this one!