Grandparent fostering a grandchild?

Robisere

Fbaby I think it is time for you to admit that your arguments are specious, wrong and not based upon knowledge and/or experience.

I am never going to apologise for the feelings behind my last post, but I did go OTT somewhat. Your words and your views made me very angry.

NeilCr

Robisere wrote: »

Fbaby I think it is time for you to admit that your arguments are specious, wrong and not based upon knowledge and/or experience.

I am never going to apologise for the feelings behind my last post, but I did go OTT somewhat. Your words and your views made me very angry.

I wouldn’t hold your breath. Certain posters can’t accept that they are ever wrong.

Good for you going OTT. I completely get it. I was angry for my partner (and I do not do angry) While not fostering I know just how much my partner puts into looking after her grandchild - and then you see nasty comments that are made without any understanding or knowledge of what it is like to be in that situation

kingfisherblue

I know a grandparent who has had both of her grandchildren in her care since they were small. Both were born with specific problems due to her daughter's lifestyle choices. However, she is by no means rolling in money. I don't know what benefits she receives, but she apppears (at least outwardly) to be like most people - on a budget, managing, but not with loads to spare. We don't really talk about money, but on the odd occasions that it has been mentioned, she certainly hasn't given the impression that she has a lot.

Pollycat

GwylimT wrote: »

FBaby quite clearly said that fathers don't intentionally become fathers and their parenthood is only occuring due to engineered pregnancies caused by a lack of contraception on the mothers part. So FBaby is clearly implying that men don't have to accept responaibility or use contraception.

Or maybe she didn't...

FBaby wrote: »

Ok, no point going any further with this especially when I'm being quoted saying things I certainly didn't say!

:whistle:

FBaby

Robisere, I'm sorry if my views upset you and will only answer your post. Yes, I do have children, who I have raised on my own with no financial support from their dad. I know what it is like, it's hard, but I do strongly believe that if I ever have to take on my kids children because for whatever reason it has to come to it, then no, I could never go the foster route however tough it would be financially because I could never consider them my foster children. If the children needed extra care for their disability, I would claim DLA and whatever else is available for children with additional needs like I would do if they were my own children.

I do have experience, not as a foster parent, but working with children taken away from their parents in residential settings. This was often after a number of failed fostering placements. I worked mainly with teenagers and the one thing they had in common was how much they hated being in the system. They wanted to be 'normal', loved by a family member without that label of being a 'child of the system'. This is what I meant by 'sad' and people can judge me as they want, but yes, I'd rather struggle a bit more financially than put them through the system and being labeled 'foster children'. It's easy to protect them from it when they are little but not so much when they become older children/teenagers.

Either way, it doesn't take away the fact that as I've already mentioned but has of course been ignored that I do have great admiration for anyone who takes on children, of their own blood or not, and do their upmost to give them the best life they can offer.

Tabbytabitha

FBaby wrote: »

Robisere, I'm sorry if my views upset you and will only answer your post. Yes, I do have children, who I have raised on my own with no financial support from their dad. I know what it is like, it's hard, but I do strongly believe that if I ever have to take on my kids children because for whatever reason it has to come to it, then no, I could never go the foster route however tough it would be financially because I could never consider them my foster children. If the children needed extra care for their disability, I would claim DLA and whatever else is available for children with additional needs like I would do if they were my own children.

I do have experience, not as a foster parent, but working with children taken away from their parents in residential settings. This was often after a number of failed fostering placements. I worked mainly with teenagers and the one thing they had in common was how much they hated being in the system. They wanted to be 'normal', loved by a family member without that label of being a 'child of the system'. This is what I meant by 'sad' and people can judge me as they want, but yes, I'd rather struggle a bit more financially than put them through the system and being labeled 'foster children'. It's easy to protect them from it when they are little but not so much when they become older children/teenagers.

Either way, it doesn't take away the fact that as I've already mentioned but has of course been ignored that I do have great admiration for anyone who takes on children, of their own blood or not, and do their upmost to give them the best life they can offer.

You're still missing the point that their extra needs wouldn't be because of a disability but because of the way they'd been treated by their parent's, your children. You don't get extra funds because their father's been raping them regularly or because their mother's been putting her cigarette on them, which aren't particularly extreme examples.
Like most of us (thank God) you wouldn't have the experience or training to deal with the effects of this treatment outside the system - sometimes love just isn't enough.

sheramber

Children who are fostered by grandparents are children who have been taken into care by the local authority. The grandparents didn't have the choice of just taking care of them as the local authority have been appointed guardian by the courts.

The local authority then assess the grandparents as to whether they are suitable to take care of the child. They start off as fosterers and can then progress to guardianship.

This gives them parental rights which they would not have if they were 'just taking care' of the children.

Charis

Thank you for your original reply, Detroit. I have just found myself in that exact position and can verify every word of your answer. you have a kind heart.

Also thanks to the poster of the link to the podcast. I know it was over a year ago but I will try to find it. I've been searching the internet to find out what to do next and there is so little information provided.