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School uniform policy. is it going too far?
Comments
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Please forgive me when I say extreme things like teachers taking them shopping this is only after seeming to be banging my head round the wall asking and asking and asking for a compromise and it falling on deaf ears I say it to them to grab the attention and bring the level back when they say "don't be so unreasonable" and I replay asking for a compromise isn't such as something that is within school colours, in a size that fits and that has a zip? put back in their court. Trust me, I'm an aspie, and when we get our teeth into something we never let it go till were satisfied weve accomplished it. I let the school walk over me for a while tried their suggestion, tried their options, then when their out of that deck of cards to lay a hand, I play it my way, my way is not the norm out of the box and can quite blunt and to the heart of it and I back up what I preach to them with evidence and regulations and law.I think you need a sensible conversation with the school where you ask for their support in enabling your daughter to conform while accommodating her health condition.
By sensible, I mean avoiding making extreme suggestions such as teachers taking your daughter shopping, which you must know isn't realistic, and showing a commitment to finding a solution.
Forgive me, but your posts sound as though you've decided there's no way forward, for everything suggested you have a reason it wouldn't work.
Sadly your daughter's condition is not unique. Other children have these problems and solutions are found.
How about getting in touch with a support group for the condition? They may advise how to manage this for your daughter.
Perhaps ive hoped too much in a compromise with the school ive lost sight a little on the end prize. Reading the link provided and the replies and suggestions has help regain my focus, its needed sometimes, us aspies can become fixated on something and although on topic can become lost within it and paint ourselves into a corner have to climb out the window in order to walk down the garden pathway again to get back on track but we never let go.
There does seem to be a trend though RE: uniform policies, my 10yr old wears hers religiously, But slowly and surely over the last say 2 years, theres been some subtle changes to the policy and there is a more strict approach, on what I thought was a pretty strict policy to start with.
There MUST be some sort of "Old School boys network" going on where teachers from far and wide meet up and exchange pro's and con's of uniform policies.0 -
However those jobs and the clothes you wear to do them exist in other countries that don't have school children wear uniform, so they must manage to work it out some other way......It'll teach them that sometimes they have to do as they're told, that sometimes there are rules to follow, and sometimes they might not get to do what they want. Like if they're working on a building site they HAVE to wear a hard hat and reflective waistcoat thing. Or if they're working in a factory making lemon curd they'll need to wear a protect apron and breathing mask when pouring out the citric acid (yup, I've done that job!) and if they want to be a surgeon they'll have to wear short sleeved shirts, no wedding ring and no watch. It just teaches them that tough !!!!!! sometimes you have to do stuff you don't like.0 -
It'll teach them that sometimes they have to do as they're told, that sometimes there are rules to follow, and sometimes they might not get to do what they want. Like if they're working on a building site they HAVE to wear a hard hat and reflective waistcoat thing. Or if they're working in a factory making lemon curd they'll need to wear a protect apron and breathing mask when pouring out the citric acid (yup, I've done that job!) and if they want to be a surgeon they'll have to wear short sleeved shirts, no wedding ring and no watch. It just teaches them that tough !!!!!! sometimes you have to do stuff you don't like.
It's unlikely that the OP's daughter will chose to work in a profession where she is forced to wear something that makes her sensory issues worse. Also, there is the possibility that she might be unable to work (although if she is in mainstream secondary school, she probably has a chance of a job and may not need to depend on benefits in the future). Sensory issues are common in autistic people.
Sometimes it is just not possible for those with autism to 'do stuff you don't like' - it can cause real distress. Instead, although following rules is to be encouraged, it is occasionally necessary to make an exception to the rule. If I had followed the school rules about not wearing trainers, my son would have had a great deal more difficulty with his feet and his walking, and could have been in a wheelchair more frequently than he currently is. Back when my son started nursery, children had to be toilet trained before they were allowed to attend. My son was born with a rare bowel condition, and wore nappies until his mid teens - so following school rules at the time would have meant that he was unable to attend school because he had a medical condition.
I fully encourage the following of school rules, but sometimes reasonable adjustments have to be made. Having two children with different conditions, I have frequently had to liaise with schools and other agencies to ensure that my children's needs were accommodated when necessary - but whenever possible, I have fitted my children in with the rules. It's not a child being awkward or disobedient, it's a child who feels fabrics very differently to the rest of us, and who cannot physically wear certain materials comfortably. It doesn't mean to say that she doesn't follow most of the other rules. It just means that she has a condition that causes sensory issues and the OP is reaching the end of his tether trying to reach a suitable compromise with the school, although the headteacher seems to disregard the child's needs.0 -
I thought my school were bad when they insisted that KS3 and KS4 had to wear different colour shirts, which wasn't the case when I started. Girls had to wear a specific colour of hair tie and socks had to be a specific colour also.
A few years ago they were insisting on blazers being worn, so there does seem to have been a trend towards uniform becoming onerous.
The policy itself is unlikely to change unless a number of students/parents raise the same issue, probably repeatedly, but I suspect that finding an adjustment/compromise for your daughter would be more beneficial. Changes to the policy in general tend to start with a new academic year.
Are there any disability organisations locally who could assist?0 -
What is wrong with zipped pockets? Why is the school bothered about them? Surely they make it more difficult for the kids to lose stuff or have it stolen?
The uniform requirements sound like control freakism taken to the ultimate.0 -
I am looking into local organisations and have emailed a few. Snap Cymru for one.0
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atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »then she wont wear them I tried that, she wont wear "stupid looking pairs of trousers that has been butchered by mam or dad because it will make me look poor and silly in school and ill get teased".
That's not a sensory issue, it's a teenager refusing to follow rules and you enabling them.
They need to make accommodations for your child's disability, which would cover a different material or looser fitting trousers. They don't need to accommodate your child's aversion to your tailoring skills.0 -
BorisThomson wrote: »That's not a sensory issue, it's a teenager refusing to follow rules and you enabling them.
They need to make accommodations for your child's disability, which would cover a different material or looser fitting trousers. They don't need to accommodate your child's aversion to your tailoring skills.
And you know this how?
Are you an expert in her daughter's condition?0 -
I guess you haven't had much dealings with a child with ADHD-ASD then. I'm glad you've had a perfect life sheltered life away from these conditions and had the its just a naughty kid views drummed into you by people your surrounded by growing up.BorisThomson wrote: »That's not a sensory issue, it's a teenager refusing to follow rules and you enabling them.
They need to make accommodations for your child's disability, which would cover a different material or looser fitting trousers. They don't need to accommodate your child's aversion to your tailoring skills.
Do you want swap places for a week? I don't get respite care for her and could do with seeing how life looks in a "normal" house hold.
Once you go into the realms of cutting things up on her clothes there is no going back, You make an awkward situation much worse, ESPECIALLY if she loves to wear those clothes outside of school ask yourself why tear up a pair of trouser that suits your daughter who will not give any trouble in dressing when she finds that comfortable pair. Must be ok for you, got plenty of cash to go out buy £18.00 pair of trousers with a zip then buy a spare pair to just cut up? Trouble is I have to sacrifice paying a bill like the water in order to get a single pair of trousers 2 pairs and I cant catch up with my bills.
You may see it as playing to her not wanting to wear them, rather than the practicality, but since she learned to walk and talk 12yrs ago ive dealt with her OCD, oppositional defiance disorder, Adhd, and ASD, developmental delay and developmental learning difficulties. Walk a mile in my shoes, guarantee after the first day of you causing her stress anxiety and anger, triggering her to go off nuclear style that will make your house look like a bunker buster hit it and your body looking like you did a 1000 rounds with Anthony Joshua with your hand tied behind your back, youll be begging for me to come back, just imagine a trip out and something doesn't quite go to plan or what was intended or school changes things without proper planning and forewarning.0 -
I think schools are going too far. What does this actually teach them for the real world? They will know how to follow rules with all the other rules they follow including a lightened up uniform policy. Rules this tight are just about power. I just reinforces that the government want to raise up children to look alike and think alike. Picture a tin of sardines all look exactly the same and are perfectly arranged in the tin.
Uniforms are great but they shouldn't be this strict and if they want them this strict then they should be offering them at affordable prices and have all sizes needed.
Isn't this exactly the point of uniform - that it is strictly 'uniform'. Otherwise it's not a uniform, it's just a similar style.0
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