School uniform policy. is it going too far?

atrixblue.-MFR-.

Comms69 wrote: »

That's just nonsense. Each school sets it's own uniform policy, it has nothing to do with central govt.


If you don't like it, you can ofcourse homeschool your kids....

When my daughter was actively refusing and I was home tutoring her, social services wasn't too happy and ofcourse, it was all my fault according to the school and LEA.


I had to beg on my knees infront of the LEA on and off the phone and in person, to give her 2hours a day tutoring provided by the LEA because the school wasn't meeting her educational needs at that time.
Because she had shut down completely and turned anxiety into a genuine fear of school so much that even going near the gates would send her into a hot sweat and a bucket of flooding rivers flowing from her eyes, holding onto me begging me not to force her to go in!.


Its not as simple as proving your giving your child an education at home, there loads more to tape to cut through than that.


My daughter had 2 hours a day home tutoring provided by the LEA, 5 days a week for 8 months, then we tried a re introduction, this went ok, She's at a point now where I'm on call for the school on a 5 days a week 8:30am-3:00pm and I can be called in approx. 3 times per day in order to help school manage my daughter.


Trust me its not as simple as moving schools or home tutoring. I know this wasn't directed at me, just stating that it not that simple.

borkid

I would be inclined to find a fabric(s) your daughter can wear and take them to school and check with someone in the senior management team if they are acceptable. If one is then get trousers made either yourself or by a seamstress. In the meantime take the issue to the board of governers/ education authority highlighting the disability.

Is it only the trousers or most of the uniform?

No consolation but at mine and my childrens' secondary school we could only get most of the uniform from one particular shop, not quite the standard colours so no high street shops would do. I did know before choosing the school though and the uniform was relaxed a little during their time there.

lika_86

Ok so the gym stuff sounds a bit much, but is it really that difficult to find trousers if your daughter is now wearing essentially an adult size? What about Next, M&S etc? Anywhere that does work trousers should have a variety that meet the school's criteria and the variety of fabrics means that hopefully you'll find something that works for your daughter.

Comms69

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

When my daughter was actively refusing and I was home tutoring her, social services wasn't too happy and ofcourse, it was all my fault according to the school and LEA. - Social services have no say on the matter, as a parent you can choose how your child is educated.


I had to beg on my knees infront of the LEA on and off the phone and in person, to give her 2hours a day tutoring provided by the LEA because the school wasn't meeting her educational needs at that time. - that's unfortunate and I sympathise, I don't know enough to comment on it
Because she had shut down completely and turned anxiety into a genuine fear of school so much that even going near the gates would send her into a hot sweat and a bucket of flooding rivers flowing from her eyes, holding onto me begging me not to force her to go in!.

Its not as simple as proving your giving your child an education at home, there loads more to tape to cut through than that. - If you as a parent choose to home school, that is the end of the matter. You must provide an adequate education, but that is the only criteria. The council have a habit of phrasing requests as requirements, but ultimately as a parent it's up to you.


My daughter had 2 hours a day home tutoring provided by the LEA - that's the only element of all this I think blurs the lines. Home schooling means an education not provided by the state. I think the reason you had red tape issues is you wanted state support at home. , 5 days a week for 8 months, then we tried a re introduction, this went ok, She's at a point now where I'm on call for the school on a 5 days a week 8:30am-3:00pm and I can be called in approx. 3 times per day in order to help school manage my daughter. - Does she have a designated SEN TA?


Trust me its not as simple as moving schools or home tutoring. I know this wasn't directed at me, just stating that it not that simple.

I think there's some confusion, as your circumstances (btw my sympathies, must be very tough!) aren't typical.


I was making more of a general observation on state vs home education

kingfisherblue

OP, when you have spoken to the school, is it the headteacher? have you written to the Governing Body to explain the issues? They have to respond in writing within a specific time period. If you haven't tried writing to them, it may be worth a shot.

I have to say that the uniform sounds horrendously expensive!

happy35

When my son was at school, uniform was also very strict, they sent a book home with a list, you could buy a wide range of sizes - the school only kept the most popular sizes in stock.
There are definitely still children in that school size 6 and probably smaller as some are short and skinny and are wearing full school uniform, there was a number of acceptable trousers etc in the book to choose from, but yes they are expensive.

mary_hinge

Uniform difficulties is very common in children with ASD and SPD, The school have to make reasonable adjustments to enable these children to access school/education - adjusting uniform policies in this cases is a must!! My son wears a v neck jumper in the school colours in place of a round neck sweatshirt with school logo as he is unable to tolorate the texture/neckline. It really shouldn't be this difficult. I would make a complaint to the headteacher following the complaints procedure then progress on to the governors.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

Thanks for the replies all.


like I said I'm no stranger to the school reception area and head and deputy head and head of pastorals doorways, ive even called their supplier and asked for daughters size who state that they don't make this size as theres not much demand for it.
Ive even gone as far as to offer to give my daughter my bank card and have a teacher go to town with her and shop till they drop for a uniform and uniform supplies, This was declined. I even offered to take teacher, daughter wife and myself shopping for cloths to see how difficult it is to match their requirements and sensory requirements of my daughter, This was declined.


I've written to the head who has written back stating the uniform policy stands they aim to have all children adhere to the policy blah blah letter.


I will write to the governors though, even if it to raise awareness of the above link provided as a reminder, as we all know when a school passes a policy they take enforcement really seriously of it, trouble is its causes issues for me and my daughter shes frustrated with the school for going on at her about it, I'm getting letters and phone calls about it daily, and it could send her back to active refusal all over again and this is something I really really don't need right now.


I just think on times that this is becoming OTT, Petty and quite frankly a mountain made out of a molehill when I'm phoned about daughter going in isolation again for non compliance to uniform policy, ive said in the past when she started refusing and I was forcing her into school and then they would dig at her lack of uniform, I don't care what she looks like, shes in school and that's all I care about, but now I find myself having anxiety of what the next call is about, is it about how to manage her, is it about support, is it about calming her down, is it about how she's not wearing the correct socks and having to sit in isolation until I fetch a pair of compliant ones, Is it to tell me shes had a melt down gone off at a teacher and has now walked out of school half an hour ago!


I'm a parent who has Aspergers, and other MH issues possibly Bi-polar along with my traits, I have 3 children, twin girls 13 and 10yr old girl twins both display adhd and asd traits, If its not one teacher phoning for one its another teacher phoning for the other, hence I'm am LITERALLY on call to the school, I find myself telling people, oh no I cant come till the weekend as I may need to go into the school to sort things out, and cancelling appointments with people too. It shouldn't be like this, but I want the best for my kids and if it takes this then I'm going to do it, but I find this uniform policy one of the most difficult things to get over and satisfy the schools policy.
my wife works really long hours as a carer 12hour days sometimes 24hours 7 days a week with very little time off during the month, she gets 4 days in a row in a month (after her 24hour shift) then back to it. so it falls to me to be basically mum and dad during the school day.

anyway thanks all. appreciate the feed back, I will try out suggestions.

Spendless

I'm with you OP. My daughter's school is the same. There were so many restrictions on what you couldn't have as school trousers, you couldn't actually find a pair that fitted their 'brief' in the shops.

School then changed to sole supplier. Schools do this because of the supplier kickback. The irony at my DD's school is the skirt is cheaper than the trousers and the girls love them! Why? It's because the skirts are sold by waist measurement only, they are well above knee on my barely 5ft daughter, taller and slim girls have a 'school issue' mini-skirt on!

Next year all the bags change to being identical, which will be fun once a child picks up the wrong one by accident.

sheramber

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

The school is well aware of the disabilities and the traits this gives her. Theyre not accommodating to the fact she has sensory issues.


When she doesn't do pe because she hasn't got the right stuff, or wants to do it but haven't got the full uniform on they either tell her off for not doing PE then tell her off for NOT having the right PE uniform. It seems like a no win situation at time.


The standard material for uniforms she don't get on with, hence why we have issues getting trousers, I know its not the schools fault for her sensory issues, she has a diagnosis, they have this in writing.


I explain this over and over and over and school states its our policy and we have to enforce it, if we didn't children would abuse it and it would be a free for all of children wearing what they want, so all children must conform to uniform policy or sit in isolation all day.


Now when ive explained that this could border on disabilities act and Equalities act, They state that's for a court to decide but until the day they get taken to and forced to change the policy the policy will be enforced.
I find it ironic that bullies get a day off or week off to think about their actions, yet when someone who wants to conform but can due to a medical condition they get isolated from the rest of the school.
Shouldn't it be bullies get isolated while those who can and wont conform either get a chance to change or also be placed in isolation?
Oh well.


Ive been in every well known higstreet place known to man or rather woman in a 20 mile radius of home, Weve been in small time shops, markets, It needs to look like the material from a school trouser, but not be THE material if you get what I mean, Not too silky, not rough like school trouser material, not too strechy, Not skinnies (they haven't allowed skinnies since year 8), be a size 6, no zips, not leggings or jeggings. Cant shop online because you just can feel the material online, so amazon out, ebay out etc.

You can have a zip fastening up to the waist. If there are zips on the pockets unpick them