Age Gap Relationships
Comments
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Good for you
I'd love to feel that way, not notice the looks or remarks. Maybe I'm being too sensitive? So pleased to hear it worked long term for you - I know age gap relationships can have a stigma and some people are not overly accepting but you steamed through
I edited it to add in some stuff about health.
To answer your quote, I find a lot of women aren't like me, I tend to take no rubbish;). I'm not rude or aggressive, but people wouldn't be making any smart a*** comments to me:o0 -
I could have written your post 25 years ago. My husband and I have been married 15 years now. There are always going to be little things that happen because of the age difference. Our latest was the consultant at the hospital who quizzed me a bit to make sure I was mr, comeandgo's wife, not daughter, before he told me some medical issues there were.
Enjoy each other while you can, now the age difference has caught up with us and my husband is failing but at least I am young enough to care for him.
Thank you. Yes, I've had similar things; I've opened the front door to "is your dad in" :rotfl:
I'm sorry to read that your husband is failing, I hope things pick up for him and you x
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Either I was not switched on to everyone else, or no-one was daft enough to make remarks, but I sailed through my 28 years with my 23 years older than me partner, without anyone making comments.
Take no notice, they'll get bored.
EDit, since people ask about what you do when the older partner gets frailer/ill. Well you are either in it for a quick shag or you are in it through thick and thin, so when the bad stuff happens, you get on with it and accept it. Mr Bugs fell ill with dementia. I'd always worked on the principle that he would be likely to go before me, so I just cared for him the best I could until it came time for him to go into a care home.
And in life there are no certainties, you could be the rare case of someone much younger falling ill whilst the older partner is still reasonably fit and healthy.
Thank you - definitely thick and thin. I couldn't imagine not being with him now. He's my best friend. I have come to a realisation that it is possible he will go before me. But, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so who knows!
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Its no ones business but your own but for me personally I wouldn't want it , having said that its easy to say when you haven't found someone older.
Selfishly I want to travel and do things in retirement but I could either end up with someone still working and not free if they are younger or being cared for if they are older.
I also think the issue of children needs discussing if the relationship becomes serious, you have a man who at 51 may not want more children and even if he does is it fair that they have a dad of 70 when they are 19. That's two generations difference. This part I speak from experience as my dad had another child from a second marriage at 48 and the child ( adult now ) hated his dad being so much older than his friends dads.
I think you really have to go into it eyes open but if you can overcome any possible pitfalls and accept things as they are then go for it.0 -
Its no ones business but your own but for me personally I wouldn't want it , having said that its easy to say when you haven't found someone older.
Selfishly I want to travel and do things in retirement but I could either end up with someone still working and not free if they are younger or being cared for if they are older.
I also think the issue of children needs discussing if the relationship becomes serious, you have a man who at 51 may not want more children and even if he does is it fair that they have a dad of 70 when they are 19. That's two generations difference. This part I speak from experience as my dad had another child from a second marriage at 48 and the child ( adult now ) hated his dad being so much older than his friends dads.
I think you really have to go into it eyes open but if you can overcome any possible pitfalls and accept things as they are then go for it.
Before we became a couple he told me he didn't want anymore children and I was and still am ok with that. I've said to him that if my feelings change and I want children then that spells the end of the relationship and we both understand that. However, at the moment, I do not have a burning desire for children so we'll cross that bridge if we get to it.
My previous relationship was with a man the same age as me but in truth I married Peter Pan. My partner now offers me stability, fun, honesty, and a wiser look on life. I feel safer with him, even to the point that I feel like an older man was meant for me.
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The rule is twice your age minus 7.
So if youre 8 you can be with an 11 year old.
If youre 16 you can be with someone up to 25 years old.
Youre 35 so can be tapping up blokes that are 63 if you so wished.
There nothing at all iffy about your age gap and im surprised youre getting comments/looks. If you want to make yourself feel any better, blokes skin tends to age more slowly than womens. So whilst he will age as he does, your body will be trying to catch him up! Give it another 5-10 years and youll look closer in age.
It's a bit daft to suggest that there are 'rules' (once both parties are over 16) for this kind of thing.
A 35 may go out with anyone who they like and who likes them (subject, again, to legal limits). Telling people 'but the rule is...' isn't going to stop comments (which shouldn't happen because that's rude).0 -
TBH in the great scheme of things you don't have a massive gap its not like 25+ years and you have known each other as friends first so know what each other wants out of the relationship.
Why dont you just enjoy each other and see what becomes of things without putting so much pressure on yourself over age which is just a number afterall.0 -
TBH in the great scheme of things you don't have a massive gap its not like 25+ years and you have known each other as friends first so know what each other wants out of the relationship.
Why dont you just enjoy each other and see what becomes of things without putting so much pressure on yourself over age which is just a number afterall.
Thank you Age is just a number... I certainly don't feel (almost) 36! 
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It's a bit daft to suggest that there are 'rules' (once both parties are over 16) for this kind of thing.
A 35 may go out with anyone who they like and who likes them (subject, again, to legal limits). Telling people 'but the rule is...' isn't going to stop comments (which shouldn't happen because that's rude).
Well there are rules for this kind of thing. Theyre not written. THings like you queue in an orderly fashion. You complain about the weather. You dont go near your best mates ex kind of thing.
There will always be people that shun these social norms but they will always be muttered about under breath.
For what its worth, ive not written these rules. I just know the consequences of not adhering to them are being socially shunned.
If you saw an 18 year old girl with an 85 year old bloke, lets be honest youre not thinking awww true love are you? BY all means they can be together but theres always going to be comments.
With respect to people shouldnt make comments its rude, well people shouldnt suggest peoples views are daft..... its rude 0 -
I had 19 years with a partner 21 years older than me and accepted that we wouldn't retire together. It does get harder as you get older and the gap becomes more apparent. My partner died of cancer several years ago in his early 70s and luckily I was well enough to nurse him at home.
I wish you years of happiness but remember to put things in place for when one of you is alone. Either of you could get ill or need care and the age gap has nothing to do with that.0
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