Age Gap Relationships

Jo3y83

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Are you sure that this relationship is what you want OP?

I ask this because, if one is completely confident in their convictions then they have no qualms with other peoples thoughts about it

If a person has the courage of their convictions then no one else's opinion matters.

It is called Marching to the Beat of your own Drum

Honestly even asking such questions marks you down as insecure in my view. Nothing wrong with the age gap, however

I lack confidence in myself, always have done. And I've always cared about what other people think. I'm having self-esteem therapy for that. Hopefully, it will change how I think a little about other's comments or judgements.

Jo3y83

Pollycat wrote: »

I think the OP has acknowledged she's "always been a little under-confident in her life" but I don't think that necessarily translates into being insecure in the realtionship.
And I don't think being under-confident and being upset about thoughtless (at best) comments means the relationship may not be right for her.

I don't think the OP has mentioned what her partner thinks about these comments - if he is even aware of them.
That would be interesting to read.



Thank you My partner couldn't care less about the comments. He's aware of some of them as some 'friends' have said to his face (when he's introduced me to them) "top batting, you're punching above your weight". I really don't like it as I feel it's hurtful but he is not interested in other's comments. He considers himself lucky to be with me and he's happy.

I think the OP needs to pull on her big girl pants and stop accepting these judgemental comments.
And stop them in such a way that the people making them will learn very quickly that they are not welcome.



I'd agree with you here!

There is a downside - already discussed - about age gap relationships as people get older.


I think this balance may change in time.
As long as the OP is prepared to step up if/when the time comes, I can't see anything wrong.

I would definitely step up, I love him.

Jo3y83

DigForVictory wrote: »

Your work HR is not fussed?
His son has completely accepted you?
Your parents have set you a positive example & encourage this relationship?
You're happy apart from outbreaks of self-doubt?

Grab onto this with both hands & only let go when the coffin lid has to be fastened.

And those snide comment droppers now? Should be verbally stomped on, but anyway in another decade will be challenged to notice unless they have set themselves a reminder to be pretty. (I have a bad feeling some exist, but can't prove it.)

Thank you so much

Jo3y83

woolythoughts wrote: »

I'm 43 and DH is 59. He had kids from a previous marriage and I don't want them so happy days.

I'm older than his eldest daughter by 6 years.

Sometimes if people give us "looks" we play on it and I call him daddy.

Likely he will die before me but I could be hit by a bus tomorrow or get cancer! Who knows - my dad died young of cancer which taught me that life is too short.

he makes me happy and thats all that matters

Thank you You sound in a similar relationship in how things are good

seven-day-weekend

A friend of mine has been married twice, the first time to someone about twelve years older, the second time to someone about twenty years younger. Both marriages failed.

The first was nothing to do with the age gap. The second one was, although the spouse was so young I think they just grew up and didn't want to be married any more.

My own personal feeling is that age need not make a difference. Just ignore all the naysayers.

snickersbars

Long time lurker here.

I am in my late 20s and my partner is in early 70s. We have been together for 2 years. Yes, we do get the odd weird look. Yes, I do get asked what my 'dad' would like in cafes etc. Yes, we are aware that short of tragedy, he will go a lot earlier than I will. No, I'm not a gold digger (am better off than he is). But so what? OP, just enjoy the relationship while it lasts!

Jo3y83

Thank you all so much! My confidence has grown after reading all your stories and age-gap relationship advice


Love has no boundaries - amen to that

Gloomendoom

Jo3y83 wrote: »

Thank you My partner couldn't care less about the comments. He's aware of some of them as some 'friends' have said to his face (when he's introduced me to them) "top batting, you're punching above your weight". I really don't like it as I feel it's hurtful but he is not interested in other's comments. He considers himself lucky to be with me and he's happy.

You do realise that they are paying him a compliment? It's not something likely to upset a man. Quite the opposite.

It could be worse.

{Edited by Forum Team}

clairec79

I'm not sure of the age gap between my SIL and her husband but I suspect it it greater than yours

Only time it's ever been a joking point or any comments thoughts made about the age gap was when he became a grandfather - and that was more to wind her up at becoming at grandmother at 31

Mrs_Ryan

My OH is 9 years older than me. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. When we first got together though I had just turned 25 and he later told me 25 was his absolute lower limit as he was 36. I was literally a week past being 25 when we met When I first met his dad and stepmum OH told me later his dad had asked how old I was because he thought I was a lot younger than I was
As for the poster who put how do you think a 19 year old would feel about having a 70 year Dad- my Dad was nearly 60 when I was 19. I love my dad and I love the fact that he was incredibly wise and had all that life experience to help me when I was just starting in adult life. I remember my history teacher teaching us about the Second World War and telling us to ‘ask your grandparents as none of your parents will be anywhere near old enough to remember’ and him being gobsmacked when I said actually my dad was born in 1941 and he does remember the war!