Age Gap Relationships

Pollycat

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Are you sure that this relationship is what you want OP?

I ask this because, if one is completely confident in their convictions then they have no qualms with other peoples thoughts about it

If a person has the courage of their convictions then no one else's opinion matters.

It is called Marching to the Beat of your own Drum

Honestly even asking such questions marks you down as insecure in my view. Nothing wrong with the age gap, however

I think the OP has acknowledged she's "always been a little under-confident in her life" but I don't think that necessarily translates into being insecure in the realtionship.
And I don't think being under-confident and being upset about thoughtless (at best) comments means the relationship may not be right for her.

I don't think the OP has mentioned what her partner thinks about these comments - if he is even aware of them.
That would be interesting to read.


I think the OP needs to pull on her big girl pants and stop accepting these judgemental comments.
And stop them in such a way that the people making them will learn very quickly that they are not welcome.

There is a downside - already discussed - about age gap relationships as people get older.

Jo3y83 wrote: »

My previous relationship was with a man the same age as me but in truth I married Peter Pan. My partner now offers me stability, fun, honesty, and a wiser look on life. I feel safer with him, even to the point that I feel like an older man was meant for me.

I think this balance may change in time.
As long as the OP is prepared to step up if/when the time comes, I can't see anything wrong.

charlotte1994

Nothing wrong with an age gap! I wish you the best of luck



Also I'm quite jealous as I love older men :shhh:

Alter_ego

spadoosh wrote: »

The rule is twice your age minus 7.

So if youre 8 you can be with an 11 year old.

If youre 16 you can be with someone up to 25 years old.

Youre 35 so can be tapping up blokes that are 63 if you so wished.

There nothing at all iffy about your age gap and im surprised youre getting comments/looks. If you want to make yourself feel any better, blokes skin tends to age more slowly than womens. So whilst he will age as he does, your body will be trying to catch him up! Give it another 5-10 years and youll look closer in age.

So my wife can be with 121 year old when I pop off.

Gloomendoom

My wife is younger than me by some margin. It hasn't been an issue for me. If my wife has had any issues or critical comments, she hasn't mentioned them.

Wider than average age gaps are almost the norm on both sides of our family though.

Comms69

Typically 3-5 years is the age gap to 'aim' for.


But that has more to do with being in similar places in life than anything else. Whatever works; it's no-one's business.

woolythoughts

I'm 43 and DH is 59. He had kids from a previous marriage and I don't want them so happy days.

I'm older than his eldest daughter by 6 years.

Sometimes if people give us "looks" we play on it and I call him daddy.

Likely he will die before me but I could be hit by a bus tomorrow or get cancer! Who knows - my dad died young of cancer which taught me that life is too short.

he makes me happy and thats all that matters

charlotte1994

Organza_Lace wrote: »

I used to have a thing for Jack Klugman (Quincy) a few decades ago. He was nothing to look at but it was the confidence in himself and the quiet and gentle nature he had on screen.

Then Patrick Stewart (Cpt Jean Luc Picard). Same forthright manner but gentle at the same time.

Whilst the same nature attracts me these days the appeal of an older man does nothing for me now.

People judge you whatever you do. The only people who matter are those who matter (if that makes sense).

Yes I think you're right, the way older men present themselves can be very attractive! When I first told my friends I had a boyfriend most of them asked "how old is he?" :rotfl:

Jo3y83

Just remember the quotes - no-one can make you feel inferior without your consent and life is too short to live it for other people.



Love this!

DigForVictory

Your work HR is not fussed?
His son has completely accepted you?
Your parents have set you a positive example & encourage this relationship?
You're happy apart from outbreaks of self-doubt?

Grab onto this with both hands & only let go when the coffin lid has to be fastened.

And those snide comment droppers now? Should be verbally stomped on, but anyway in another decade will be challenged to notice unless they have set themselves a reminder to be pretty. (I have a bad feeling some exist, but can't prove it.)

Jo3y83

GlasweJen wrote: »

I have 2 friends. Friend A is in a long term, settled relationship with a man old enough to be her grandfather and friend B married a man just 3 years older than her.

Friend B woke up on New Year's Day with her husband (in his 30s) dead beside her in bed.

Age isn't everything, it's hardly anything. Are you both happy?

Oh my goodness, how sad for your friend Yes, we are happy