Separation & Negative Equity

Options
1235

Comments

  • middleclassbutpoor
    middleclassbutpoor Posts: 774 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Options
    Just a general question to those with more experience - would it be worth getting some written valuations from estate agents to prove the value as of now.

    You never know what may happen in the future and if she did try and comeback in a number of years, then this would be good to be able to say that there was none at the time?

    May not be needed but having read a few threads similar to this, when they leave, its all roses but when they realise later down the line there may be a few quid in it if they kick up a fuss, then causes issues. Granted there is nothing she can do in terms of you selling etc in the future but I am never surprised by the cheek of some people.
  • tlc678910
    tlc678910 Posts: 982 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Options
    sunsout wrote: »
    I guess from my side it does seem unfair she walks away with nothing so I was thinking of suggesting I offer her a small payment for a deposit/few months rent to start her off really just as a goodwill gesture. I know that probably sounds daft to most people but I guess the entire thing hasn't sunk in yet

    It seems unfair that you are in negative equity after so many years but there is nothing you can do about it. If you had bought together not only should she have paid more towards the house but she would owe the negative equity too.

    If your ex bought a house tomorrow (let's say her parents leant her a deposit or she saved 5% and used help to buy) then financially she would immediately be in a stronger position than you as her property would not be in negative equity.

    Tell her she is lucky she is able to walk away from the debt that you will still be paying for years and ask her when she is moving out!

    Tlc
  • Lauralou79
    Lauralou79 Posts: 268 Forumite
    Options
    You need to take the heart and feelings out of this situation she obviously has.

    She has no right to the house/equity/non equity etc so let her try and take you to court and pay for a solicitor to tell her the same thing. It won't go to court.

    It doesn't matter if you are difficult to live with cos of your circumstances. She has chosen to leave and by the sounds of it you have been more than supportive and generous throughtout the relationship.

    As hard as it is that relationship Is over in her eyes and you now need to think the same.

    You need to break your ties. Give her notice to leave. Give her some links to websites explaining property ownership and negative equity don't pay any money for her to see an adviser or to help her out. she needs to be an adult she's chosen the path! You've given her enough money and she's leaving when you probably need her most! If this was a friend what would you advise them?

    Good luck but be strong and get tough and don't give her any more that she isn't entitled to please.
  • sunsout
    sunsout Posts: 26 Forumite
    Options
    middleclassbutpoor wrote: »
    Just a general question to those with more experience - would it be worth getting some written valuations from estate agents to prove the value as of now.

    You never know what may happen in the future and if she did try and comeback in a number of years, then this would be good to be able to say that there was none at the time?

    May not be needed but having read a few threads similar to this, when they leave, its all roses but when they realise later down the line there may be a few quid in it if they kick up a fuss, then causes issues. Granted there is nothing she can do in terms of you selling etc in the future but I am never surprised by the cheek of some people.

    I've got 3 written valuations of 60k or just below. Incidentally, one agent said if I wanted to sell quickly as would be the case here if my ex had the ability to force me to sell then he said "Stick it on at 55 and be willing to accept offers" which is even worse! With all the changes to the area it has gone from (how it was marketed to me) being the most upcoming area in the town with all the planned developments (new train station, family pub, new shops and a waterfront bar area and an adjacent development of executive 4-5 bedroom houses) to one of the poorest/crime ridden areas in the town after all of these grand plans were scrapped & they just finished this one development and ditched the largely unsold stock to the local housing trust. There are a few other households round here who bought off-plan/early like me who are stuck, too. Those that have moved on had to take a huge hit on the sale of their home and roll over the outstanding balance onto the mortgage for their next place.
  • sunsout
    sunsout Posts: 26 Forumite
    Options
    tlc678910 wrote: »
    It seems unfair that you are in negative equity after so many years but there is nothing you can do about it. If you had bought together not only should she have paid more towards the house but she would owe the negative equity too.

    If your ex bought a house tomorrow (let's say her parents leant her a deposit or she saved 5% and used help to buy) then financially she would immediately be in a stronger position than you as her property would not be in negative equity.

    Tell her she is lucky she is able to walk away from the debt that you will still be paying for years and ask her when she is moving out!

    Tlc

    Cheers. To be honest the negative equity never really bothered me (except for paying more than I might if I had waited) as I've never had plans to sell the property. It was big enough for us and still manageable as my health has deteriorated. The spectre of the negative equity has only risen it's ugly head following the split and my ex's apparent desire to try and get me to sell it! Like you say, nothing I can really do about it other than keep paying the mortgage
  • sunsout
    sunsout Posts: 26 Forumite
    Options
    financegeek wrote: »
    You sound like a lovely person sunsout. Caring, genuine and honest. Please do not give this leech any more of your money, she doesn't (afaik but i'm not a lawyer) have any claim to your personal income / savings, there's no equity in the house and she's had it lucky living pretty much mortgage / rent free since you've been there.

    i can't see a solicitor taking the case on.. there's nothing to fight for (unless she wants 50% of the negative equity?)

    it sounds like you're trying to break up the right way and she's throwing her toys out the pram as she's not got the parting gift she wants. If i were you if she doesn't co operate i'd give her a weeks notice to get out, then change the locks. she won't be homeless (she has her parents) and otherwise you'll be waiting forever for her to save up a deposit for her own place. her commuting from her parents is no longer your issue.

    She's broken up with you. She should have thought about these things before doing so and her welfare is no longer your responsibility. get her out, find yourself again then find someone who truly appreciates you and never look back!

    good luck :)

    You're too kind, thank you. I plan on just being on my own I think for a LONG time after this!!!

    We had another talk yesterday evening & she definitely thinks I'm hiding something or am somehow trying to "get one over" on her as regards finances so I've given her the number of somewhere she can choose to go locally and pay their hourly rate to get the same answers I've given her but I won't be paying for it. I've also shown her (again) the 3 valuations we have and also directed her to places online where she can see what houses round here are selling for.

    I've given her a week now to leave the house but have agreed some belongings can stay here for up to 2 weeks so she can organise getting them moved to her folks (she doesn't drive) but after that time I have said she will need to organise a storage unit if she hasn't picked them up and someone to come and get them & if that doesn't happen it will be assumed she no longer wants them and it will all be donated/binned.

    Have also informed her that after her week is up and she is due to leave the locks will all be getting changed so after that point she will need to arrange a time to collect her things that is convenient to me around work.
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,376 Forumite
    First Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Options
    Good on you!!!!
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.31% of current retirement "pot" (as at end March 2024)
  • BoGoF
    BoGoF Posts: 7,099 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    I hope you also pointed out that you have given her a mimimum of £20k over the years.
  • sunsout
    sunsout Posts: 26 Forumite
    Options
    BoGoF wrote: »
    I hope you also pointed out that you have given her a mimimum of £20k over the years.

    She knows what I've given to her - she would be in a dire financial situation if I hadn't but I didn't bring it up. The conversation last night was bad enough but keeping it in my back pocket if it carries on.
  • kelpie35
    kelpie35 Posts: 1,781 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Options
    Well done to you for taking this stand.

    I do hope that you are able to find peace being on your own again.

    Keep your pecker up.
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.1K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards