Separation & Negative Equity

enthusiasticsaver

Also you are not obliged to give her anything. You are not married and she wants to separate so I suggest you leave her to get on with it.

mrginge

This idiot can!!!8217;t even do basic maths. Strap yourself in for a long ride mate.

sunsout

BoGoF wrote: »

You (and your ex) do realise that even if you wanted to sell you couldn't? The lender won't remove their charge on the property with a £30k shortfall.

Yes, I'm fully aware of that. Unless 30k magically materialises we have no options in that regard (not that I want to sell my house anyway) but my ex thinks that she can force a sale, take half the proceeds and leave me without a place to live and tens of thousands in debt. I think she thinks I am deliberately trying to deceive her out of something when I'm just trying to organise the separation in a way where we both have the easiest footing to move off on (hers being much easier than mine). I have offered to pay for her to go and sit with a financial advisor on her own even though they would just give her the same info. that I have.

sunsout

BoGoF wrote: »

In all honesty, you deserve better than her. She has used you as a cash cow for long enough.

Thanks for the kind words. It was my choice to help her out when I have & nobody held a gun to my head. I could've refused so she learned the hard way but I always saw it as helping her helps us both in the long run. Maybe I have been a pushover in that regard. That said, the most recent store card debacle I found out about I have left her to it because I simply don't have the money to help her with it.

sunsout

Mortgage_Adviser wrote: »

Tell her the house is worth less than the mortgage outstanding and as so there is no asset to get any money from.


If she is not happy with the answer give her the notice that you believe should be sufficient for her to find a rental property.


One month should be more then enough. If she can't afford a rent of her own she can rent a room i nshared accomodation.


It is not your problem where she will live and how she will comute to her job.


She can sleep in canteen floor at her workplace. This is simply not your problem



Tell her that giving her nothing is your final decision and if she is not happy she can take you to court.

Thanks. I'm very keen to avoid going to court. The only thing that would do is land each of us in even more debt in legal costs etc and I know she hasn't the means to do that so when she inevitably loses the case she'd then have to pay all my costs. Add to that the general stress of having to go through that as well there doesn't seem to be any justification for going legal (hopefully!!)

sunsout

Niv wrote: »

I am glad you stated this as I was about to comment on your previous response!


She has added NOTHING to the mortgage
She has added practically nothing to the furnishings (let her take the drawers!)
She has paid her half of the bills and that's it
She has ended the relationship


Like you rightly say, she wants her cake and eat it. She is taking the proverbial with your good nature.


You can be decent and nice about the situation without giving her a wad of cash.


Her leaving with nothing is actually the better deal (as opposed to 15k of debt).


If I thought she deserved something I would say.

Thanks, yes that makes sense. In a year she could be set up if she opts for the clean break and moves in with her folks for a bit and saves some money she could live in one of the areas she wants to be in whereas I am going to be stuck in that house for the foreseeable as there is no way the market is going to recover enough to cover the negative equity any time soon. A 3 bed round there can be had for 75-80 so there's no way any time soon a 2 bed is going to be worth 90 so even if I wanted to move (which I don't) I won't be able to.

sunsout

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

The house is worth less than the mortgage so it makes no sense to sell it. There is no equity so your ex gets nothing. I would say she is liable for half the mortgage even if she is not living in the house but if you bought in your name that is not the case.

It makes no sense if you look at it rationally whereas she is looking at it emotionally. I am trying to stay objective about it but apparently I am being "cold" about it towards her. Seems like from the responses on here maybe she is being the inconsiderate one. I definitely sympathise with her, starting again is going to be tough but "I'm dumping you and moving out because I now want different things out of life so.... thirty grand" isn't really a valid approach.

sunsout

mrginge wrote: »

This idiot can!!!8217;t even do basic maths. Strap yourself in for a long ride mate.

I really hope not. I'd sooner it wasn't happening but as it is, I just want it to be as smooth & painless as possible.

BoGoF

Not to sound harsh, but she has seen how easy it is to get money out of you in the past and she is looking for one last payday.

Seriously, add up what you have paid to clear her cards, pay her courses......how much?

Pixie5740

If she had contributed towards capital repayments of the mortgage then it might have been worth her while trying to claim a beneficial interest in the property but even that would be pointless because there is no equity, in fact the equity is less than zero. You'd need your head read to take someone to court to claim a share of -£30k.

Give her a week to move and then change the locks. If the relationship is over there's no point letting things fester.