Separation & Negative Equity

BoGoF

sunsout wrote: »

Not really. Everything in the house over the years I have bought and paid for. Any work that has needed doing etc I have paid for. She did buy a couples of sets of drawers for the spare room but that's it. Any time anything has gone wrong in the house, boiler breakdown, broken door locks, leaks etc I have always been the one to organise and pay for repairs.

Then I don't get why you feel obliged to help her out. With a full time job and contributing as little as she was then surely she has some savings. She is in for a big shock when she gets a place of her own.

sunsout

Mortgage_Adviser wrote: »

When she moves ouut and rents privately she will have a set rental payment every month and her landlords would fix or replace anything that breaks down in the house.

You also pay monthly payment to the mortgage company but have to pay for any maintenance.


You and her work full time.


Her situation after the separation will be more favourable.


If some one should pay another anything it should be her.


She is dumping you and demanding the money from you that you do not have.


If I was you I would give her a week to get out and tell her if she does not all her belongings would be thrown away on the street and locks changed.


She is not a tenant of yours, not even a lodger so has not right to be in the property.

Thanks for the reply, everything you say makes sense. I don't think I'd kick her out with a weeks notice as she works locally and doesn't drive and her job wouldn't be commutable from her parents (where she intends to go initially) on public transport.

I think her flawed perspective is something along the lines of "This house is worth money therefore I want half of it" but that doesn't take into account that the asset (the house) and the liability (mortgage) are inextricably linked due to the negative equity situation unless 30k miraculously appears from somewhere. Even then there'd be no money to split as that would only cover the outstanding mortgage debt. She sees the mortgage as 100% mine because it's only my name on it but the house as 50% hers. In short, it's like she wants to have her cake and eat it.

It seems like the best option in terms of her future prospects is to leave with a clean slate, no debt but also no money due and start again and I will shoulder the debt and stay in the house.

I want to stay in the house but if she is so fixated on the house as an asset the only other option I could see would be to transfer ownership of the house and the mortgage debt into her name with her paying all of the costs and I walk away with nothing and she can ride it out for an indeterminate amount of time to see if the price ever increases enough to give her the money she wants but somehow I don't think she would go for that given she doesn't want to live in the town any more. She'd be better off moving out, living with her folks and saving some money each month (which she doesn't do). She'd have a decent cash amount much quicker doing it that way.

sunsout

BoGoF wrote: »

Then I don't get why you feel obliged to help her out. With a full time job and contributing as little as she was then surely she has some savings. She is in for a big shock when she gets a place of her own.

I know. Like I say, it still hasn't sunk in really, I can't believe it's happening & just want to do right by her, not necessarily what is legally required.

Believe it or not she doesn't have anything saved at all. Over the years I have had to bail her out a few times over different things. A couple of secret credit cards she's taken out over the years and spent the money on clothing & then just been paying minimum payments & getting herself to the point of a meltdown before she's told me anything about it.

I paid those off for her in full. She's also changed careers maybe 3 times and paid for training courses etc including one time where on the day she was there to enrol she "suddenly was informed" that the course cost several thousand pounds and called me up crying because she couldn't enrol without paying the money on the day so I've had to run up in the car and pay it for her. Most recently she started a new job and they put her on a course costing the company about 5k on the proviso she had to remain with the company for a year post-qualification else she had to pay the money back to the company. Surprise, surprise, she decided quite quickly after the course she hated it and wanted to leave so, again, I had to pay that as she didn't have any money.

Never asked for any of that money back as I always wanted her to do well and be happy in her job which she has never been. I've been stuck in the same job since starting work and hate what I do but someone has to be responsible and pay the bills. It was always the plan she would finally find something she enjoys and then I could have a look at my own career but so far only she has had the (multiple) career changes.

BoGoF

You (and your ex) do realise that even if you wanted to sell you couldn't? The lender won't remove their charge on the property with a £30k shortfall.

BoGoF

In all honesty, you deserve better than her. She has used you as a cash cow for long enough.

Mortgage_Adviser

Tell her the house is worth less than the mortgage outstanding and as so there is no asset to get any money from.


If she is not happy with the answer give her the notice that you believe should be sufficient for her to find a rental property.


One month should be more then enough. If she can't afford a rent of her own she can rent a room i nshared accomodation.


It is not your problem where she will live and how she will comute to her job.


She can sleep in canteen floor at her workplace. This is simply not your problem



Tell her that giving her nothing is your final decision and if she is not happy she can take you to court.

foxy-stoat

Probably best to tell her that she needs to be on the mortgage to get half of the equity.......then the lender can chase her for the £30,000 shortfall as well !

Niv

sunsout wrote: »

. she wants to have her cake and eat it.

It seems like the best option in terms of her future prospects is to leave with a clean slate, no debt but also no money due and start again and I will shoulder the debt and stay in the house.

.

I am glad you stated this as I was about to comment on your previous response!


She has added NOTHING to the mortgage
She has added practically nothing to the furnishings (let her take the drawers!)
She has paid her half of the bills and that's it
She has ended the relationship


Like you rightly say, she wants her cake and eat it. She is taking the proverbial with your good nature.


You can be decent and nice about the situation without giving her a wad of cash.


Her leaving with nothing is actually the better deal (as opposed to 15k of debt).


If I thought she deserved something I would say.

fromtheshires

I'm with the others here. You have been milked for long enough.


She clearly has no grasp of money hence the situation you are in where she is fixated on owning 50% of the house and ignoring the negative equity aspect.


Some people are dense

enthusiasticsaver

The house is worth less than the mortgage so it makes no sense to sell it. There is no equity so your ex gets nothing. I would say she is liable for half the mortgage even if she is not living in the house but if you bought in your name that is not the case.