Are you a Bridezilla?

Dr_DiNg_DoNg · 25 July 2009 at 10:25AM

They were discussing this on News24 this morning.

Bridezilla's do stuff like expect their guests to spend money on expensive hen weekends, presents (or worse give money) , clothes etc etc etc

But, in a recession , they think Brides have to lower their expectations of what they can expect. Just because X bought Y an expensive wedding gift last year, does not mean the same will happen this year etc.

Mme.Hibou · 25 July 2009 at 10:47AM

I saw this too, I can thankfully say I am not.

I wonder how many bridezillas out there reply to this thread?

Dr_DiNg_DoNg · 25 July 2009 at 3:18PM

none lol, they are hiding

mshelsbels · 25 July 2009 at 3:34PM

Dont think I'm a bridezilla with expectations from my guests (I dont have any expectations - just want them to come and have a wonderful time)
I do, however, get a bit 'bridezillery' with other things! Like the wedding car needs to be clean, like the particular champagne cocktail we're having, like to specific table layout .....to name but a few!
If thats being a bridezilla then guilty as charged....I like to think of it as being a control freak!

maggie111 · 25 July 2009 at 4:12PM

I have definitely had my bridezilla moments, and I think everyone has!

I asked my BMS to spend money on an expensive hen weekend, they politely told me where to go, so I wont do that. At the time I was disappointed that they wouldn't put aside the cash as I had like a year's notice.

I certainly expected my guests to give presents, and I would have been disappointed if people came and didn't. Even worse thoughts would be for people who came and didn't even bring a card. Ok, not every person can give expensive presents, but what would be good for me would have been a token - something to say thank you for sharing your special day with me.

I privately would have been horrified if anyone wore black, or white to our wedding also.

Bear in mind these are inner, private thoughts, not things I'd share with people that I know. And that I wasn't going to storm ahead with the belief that anything I want for my wedding I get. I wanted an expensive hen do (because I knew where I wanted it and it's an expensive spa!) and they couldn't do it so that was fine. I think that people do things with the best of intentions, so if I didn't get a card I would wonder why and decide they probably forgot to get one. If they came in black, or white, I would think that they didn't have time/couldn't have afforded to get another outift etc, or that it looked nice anyway.

I would struggle to believe that any bride didn't have inner thoughts of "bridezilla" - the card thing and the outfit thing are two beliefs that I hold when attending other people's weddings. I'm quite happy to understand that other people don't have them, and in fact they could have come to our wedding and thought "Urgh, who'd do that" at something I did.

We probably don't appreciate the own bridezilla in ourselves because to us those thoughts are "normal".

And as it happens, our circumstances mean that the wedding I wanted has changed, I'm doing an MSE, small intimate wedding and I don't care a jot what people wear, bring, I'm not having a hen do etc, and I want the whole thing to be at no expensive to the people invited.

Some things that I think are perfectly awful bridezilla beliefs are no doubt perfectly understandable to other people. I mean, there are plenty of people who get their BMs to buy their own dresses, ask for money in the invitations, buy no alcohol for the reception, have a separate evening do etc etc.

I just think that everyone has different beliefs and expectations and that these can all be classed as "bridezilla" moments - the thing that really distinguishes a "true" bridezilla are those horror stories you read about people who are control freaks over other people - like making their BMs dye their hair, or expecting them to lose weight, or asking someone after the wedding why they didn't get a present - or only sending thank you cards to those people who did get a present! And so on!

Yellowbug · 25 July 2009 at 8:23PM

hmm i wouldnt say im a bridezilla.....i like to be in control but thats a different thing lol

as for the presents etc, I would never go to a wedding without taking a card and a gift of some kind, so I would expect our guests to at least bring a card. If they didnt I would be upset but there is no way I would say anything to them about it .... id just whinge to my friends about it
but that doesnt mean i expect 'expensive' gifts.....i would never expect anything expensive or flash, but i do like a card!!!

I dont understand things like making your bm's cut there hair or lose weight etc, and i really cant understand people who pick awful dresses for their bridesmaids, i want all of us to look fab not just me lol

dizziblonde · 25 July 2009 at 8:25PM

I don't care what people wear (would draw the line at a Newcastle United shirt though), couldn't really care less what the colour scheme is (my mother's commandeered control of most of it), don't care what we get to the venue in, don't expect gifts (I'm sure we'll get some but I'm not having a gift list and I'm not requesting money - I detest the whole politics of wedding presents). I'm asserting myself on one thing - and that's that I don't want children there. The rest of the stuff I'm letting the parents and relatives have their way - I just want to be married to him and couldn't care less about the rest of the stuff.

IWantToBeFree_2 · 25 July 2009 at 8:28PM

maggie111 wrote: »

I have definitely had my bridezilla moments, and I think everyone has!

I asked my BMS to spend money on an expensive hen weekend, they politely told me where to go, so I wont do that. At the time I was disappointed that they wouldn't put aside the cash as I had like a year's notice.

I certainly expected my guests to give presents, and I would have been disappointed if people came and didn't. Even worse thoughts would be for people who came and didn't even bring a card. Ok, not every person can give expensive presents, but what would be good for me would have been a token - something to say thank you for sharing your special day with me.

I privately would have been horrified if anyone wore black, or white to our wedding also.

Bear in mind these are inner, private thoughts, not things I'd share with people that I know. And that I wasn't going to storm ahead with the belief that anything I want for my wedding I get. I wanted an expensive hen do (because I knew where I wanted it and it's an expensive spa!) and they couldn't do it so that was fine. I think that people do things with the best of intentions, so if I didn't get a card I would wonder why and decide they probably forgot to get one. If they came in black, or white, I would think that they didn't have time/couldn't have afforded to get another outift etc, or that it looked nice anyway.

I would struggle to believe that any bride didn't have inner thoughts of "bridezilla" - the card thing and the outfit thing are two beliefs that I hold when attending other people's weddings. I'm quite happy to understand that other people don't have them, and in fact they could have come to our wedding and thought "Urgh, who'd do that" at something I did.

We probably don't appreciate the own bridezilla in ourselves because to us those thoughts are "normal".

And as it happens, our circumstances mean that the wedding I wanted has changed, I'm doing an MSE, small intimate wedding and I don't care a jot what people wear, bring, I'm not having a hen do etc, and I want the whole thing to be at no expensive to the people invited.

Some things that I think are perfectly awful bridezilla beliefs are no doubt perfectly understandable to other people. I mean, there are plenty of people who get their BMs to buy their own dresses, ask for money in the invitations, buy no alcohol for the reception, have a separate evening do etc etc.

I just think that everyone has different beliefs and expectations and that these can all be classed as "bridezilla" moments - the thing that really distinguishes a "true" bridezilla are those horror stories you read about people who are control freaks over other people - like making their BMs dye their hair, or expecting them to lose weight, or asking someone after the wedding why they didn't get a present - or only sending thank you cards to those people who did get a present! And so on!

Good job really, you'd have no friends left!

Yellowbug · 25 July 2009 at 8:29PM

oh and as for people buying clothes etc.....I wouldnt expect people to buy a new outfit for our wedding......but I would expect them to look nice, no scruffy tat....all my friends/family know I wouldnt come to any 'do' of theirs looking a state so theres no reaosn for them to do it to me

SugarSpun · 25 July 2009 at 8:40PM

I would have been appalled if anyone had turned up dressed in white, but other than that the only Bridezilla moment I had was when my hairdresser cancelled the Monday before my Friday morning wedding.

Oh, and when my then future brother in law suggested that my husband ought to get up and drive him an hour to the airport at 7am the morning after the wedding I had a very sarcastic meltdown with no actual yelling. I'm fairly sure some stuff around me spontaneously caught fire in spite of my carefully modulated tone though - I was not amused.

I wanted our guests to turn up, have fun, and celebrate with us. And they did. It was wonderful. Those of our guests with the most money flew in from the USA, so we didn't expect them to give us gifts. The cheapest item on our wedding list (we caved to demand and made one) was £3.97, and we were delighted when we received it. We sent thank you cards to everyone who came and thank you emails to photographer/venues etc.

A friend's getting married in two weeks. She's already an epic Zilla and I only wish I could go. Sadly I can't, but it seems like it'll be a spectacle.

maggie111 · 25 July 2009 at 8:41PM

IWantToBeFree wrote: »

Good job really, you'd have no friends left!

Charming!

I don't think I've said anything that awful
1) I wanted to go to a spa that I have been to previously and love, on my hen night with my 4 closest friends
2) I would be disappointed if someone turned up to our wedding and didn't bring a card
3) I didn't want anyone to wear a white dress.

I'd like to think I'd have at least 1 friend left!!

It's what you do with your beliefs that count, not the fact that you have them. I'm sure I'd be shocked living a few days in your mind.

Thanks to the other "bridezillas" who posted after me!

Are you a Bridezilla?

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