CSA will be taking more than my weekly wage. PLEASE help!!!

minimee_2 · 12 November 2008 at 4:13PM

Bit of background.
My partner has two children that he isnt allowed to see. Long story, but the ex ignored all judges orders, and this is still ongoing two years later.
He earns £780 a month.
He hasnt paid CSA as we have two children (one is three, the other is 6 months) and we ourselves dont have enough money to even pay the mortgage or bills, let alone the csa money.
Our mortgage is £777 a month, so that counts for his wages. We scrape by on nothing, and are left with no disposable income.
The ex is completely on benefits, so anything she needs will be paid for.
CSA have caught up with my partner, and are now going to start taking the money out of dp's wages before we even get them.
This month they will be taking £274, leaving us with £516 a month to live on. This means the mortgage wont be paid, and probably not much else will be either.
On New years Eve, they will be taking £280.
On the 28th April they'll take £74, and then TWO DAYS LATER they'll be taking £139.
At the end of May they'll be taking £74.

This will leave us with absolutely no money at allto live on, and taking into consideration that we have no disposable income at all, infact, we are down about £1000 each month, I find this to be amazing!
I am all for paying for your children. Of course you should, but what are MY children meant to live on? It seems like favouritism to me.
His children get money that we dont actually have, whereas my children are thrown even deeper into this hole of a life where we csnnot even afford food.

Can somebody PLEASE help??

LizzieS_2 · 12 November 2008 at 4:30PM

Afraid neither him nor you can choose to put your children first. His previous children do still benefit from the payments made despite their mother being on benefits.

Have you considered working more hours yourself to help support your children as he cannot avoid the payments due.

The fact that he decided not to pay as ultimately created the arrears which are now being collected in large sums. You can try to negotiate a longer time to repay but it will be a battle due to previous non co-operation.

milliemonster · 12 November 2008 at 4:34PM

surely you must be entitled to benefits with him being on such a low wage?

minimee_2 · 12 November 2008 at 4:43PM

We get CTC, but we are still left with no dispoable income at the end of the month.
We dont have enough money to look after the children living with us, let alone the children that arnt.
Its jst not fair. Even when the arrears of paid off, and the normal amount of csa is taken, we will still be in deficit each month.
As it stands, without debt, were are £735 in deficit each month.

pinkpig08 · 12 November 2008 at 5:06PM

And the annoying thing is that if the ex is on benefits she will only get to keep £20 of it per week, the rest will go to the government.

kelloggs36 · 12 November 2008 at 9:01PM

minimee wrote: »

Bit of background.
My partner has two children that he isnt allowed to see. Long story, but the ex ignored all judges orders, and this is still ongoing two years later.
He earns £780 a month.
He hasnt paid CSA as we have two children (one is three, the other is 6 months) and we ourselves dont have enough money to even pay the mortgage or bills, let alone the csa money. Unfortunately for him this is irrelevant - he has always had a legal responsibility to pay for his existing children - why should they lose out (or the taxpayer) because he chose to have more children?
Our mortgage is £777 a month, so that counts for his wages. We scrape by on nothing, and are left with no disposable income. Do you not work, even part-time? You could do child-minding or something else from home to help bring in extra money.
The ex is completely on benefits, so anything she needs will be paid for. So? I am paying for her via my taxes which could go towards something more deserving (not suggesting that single parents are not deserving, but I mean that a child has 2 parents who should contribute and if one doesn't because they are not working and have difficulty with getting a job, then the other still has to to reduce the overall tax burden on society by supporting things that they have a responsibility for - ie their own children - they aren't mine I have my own children so why should I pay double because your partner feels that it is okay for the taxpayer to pick up the burden for his children?).
CSA have caught up with my partner, and are now going to start taking the money out of dp's wages before we even get them. This is because he made a choice not to pay - so he has to pay back arrears.
This month they will be taking £274, leaving us with £516 a month to live on. This means the mortgage wont be paid, and probably not much else will be either. Now I don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like you can't afford your mortgage anyway - he really should have factored in his existing responsibilities first - it may be horrendous for you, but it wouldn't be the total end of the world if you sold up and moved to a rented property where you may qualify for some housing benefit. I don't mean to sound condescending, but you would not be paying as much out each month and it could actually make your lives much better! Of course it would be horrible and an upheaval, but it could save you from bankruptcy and make you much less stressed. It is not ideal, but sometimes we have to make extremely difficult choices and you will need to consider whether you can afford to make the payments which he has no choice to pay, or make cut backs elsewhere to make sure you have the money. If you have no disposable income now, then you are living pretty close to the edge.
On New years Eve, they will be taking £280.
On the 28th April they'll take £74, and then TWO DAYS LATER they'll be taking £139.
At the end of May they'll be taking £74.

This will leave us with absolutely no money at allto live on, and taking into consideration that we have no disposable income at all, infact, we are down about £1000 each month, I find this to be amazing!
I am all for paying for your children. Of course you should, but what are MY children meant to live on? It seems like favouritism to me. No it doesn't. Your children are already taken account of in the formula - are you on CS1 or CS2? They are no more or less important than the existing children. Why should they get nothing in favour of your children which would be favouritism the other way - which is also as unfair!
His children get money that we dont actually have, whereas my children are thrown even deeper into this hole of a life where we csnnot even afford food.

Can somebody PLEASE help??

I would suggest that you sit down and see what cutbacks you can make - if you can't make any, then you have a serious situation to face. I can't tell you what to do, but I can make suggestions (as above) - you are the only ones who know what you can do and if the figures can be made to add up. YOu may find that you have a very difficult decision to make.

I do wish you all the best - I am not intending to sound vindictive or condescending or to be preaching to you even if it may seem that way. I apologies if you feel that I am - I just see it that your partner has no choice but to accept that he has to pay and you need to find a way to do it.

minimee_2 · 13 November 2008 at 12:04PM

Kellogs, Im on maternity leave, so no I wont be getting a job just yet.
We have looked at selling the house, but as its it negitive equity atm, we wont be doing that just yet, and its likely that nobody will buy it.
I thought the whole point of csa was to allow the children to carry on living as though the parents were still together. If him and his ex were still together, they wouldnt be getting this much spent on them, just like MY children arnt.
So now my children have to do without even LESS than they are now, and even less xmas presents this year, while we fork out for HER who sits on her !!!! all day smoking, and, erm....smoking. Thats where our money will be going.

Pinkpig, havnt they changed the rules in the last few weels? I think she will get all of it now.

milliemonster · 13 November 2008 at 1:10PM

Ok, you are on maternity leave, but your youngest is now 6 months old yet you are saying his ex should go out and get a job, but you aren't prepared to do the same?, I would have loved to have stayed at home with my kids but went back to work when they were 5 months old because we had bills to pay, you will have to do the same, its all very well saying, this is not fair but that is life I'm afraid

If you don't want your children to go without then instead of venting your anger at your oh's ex, get out and get back to work yourself then you won't be worse off!

imfedup · 13 November 2008 at 1:11PM

Quote: So now my children have to do without even LESS than they are now, and even less xmas presents this year, while we fork out for HER who sits on her !!!! all day smoking, and, erm....smoking. Thats where our money will be going.

Minimee - I dont mean to sound harsh but I resent the above statement, my ex does not pay for his children with me but the CSA have just caught up with him and he has to pay his arrears, the arrears actually only add up to £0.71 a day when you work it out, which believe me is not alot in the grand scheme of things, but because he hasnt paid he now has to pay a large sum of money (well large to him). My children have had to go without because he hasnt paid anything in over 7 years. At 3 and 6 months your children wont want much for christmas anyway because they wont really understand especially the 6 month old. I work full time but even I have had to struggle whilst my ex fathered more children without paying for the ones he already has.

Even if your partners ex does sit there all day smoking, that has nothing to do with you. Your partner should never have shirked his responsibility of paying for the children in the first place. If he had paid when he should have paid you would be finding now that he wouldnt have to pay off such a large amount of money.

You say your youngest is 6 months old, which means that although you are on maternity leave, you could get a job if you really wanted (especially a child minding job) which would help towards the day to day costs of living.

I am sorry that this sounds harsh, but parents who wont pay for children yet moan when they get caught up with really hacks me off.

Slapps · 13 November 2008 at 2:12PM

Just to put the cat among the pigeons, weather his ex sits on her behind or goes out to work it makes no difference to you or your OH as you will still have to pay the same amount.
Just out of interest how many bedrooms does your house have?

Cornball · 13 November 2008 at 3:07PM

You need to stop thinking that this money is for his ex, it's for his children. I don't mean to be harsh but did you and your partner honestly not factor in his csa payments when you were deciding to start a family?? It should have been the first deduction, even before rent/mortage when doing your budget. This money was never yours to begin with, it is his legal requirement. End of story.

Stop talking about how unfair it all is, you made your bed. You have kids to support so grow up, get a job, get 2 jobs, give up net access, sell your house, rent a room...do something before it's too late.

CSA will be taking more than my weekly wage. PLEASE help!!!

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