CSA will be taking more than my weekly wage. PLEASE help!!!

LizzieS_2

munkyface wrote: »

Yes Yes unfortunately it's all of our fault isn't it? We made the terrible mistake of marrying men with children. Oh and God forbid we would like to have chldren ourselves!!!!

You are all having a go because Minimee is aggrieved at her OH's Ex for living on benefits for most of her natural born life. Damn right! Her wages ARE taken into account. Why should she work her backside off and have all of this worry while her OH's Ex sits on hers raking in benefits? IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE HER OH DID NOT CREATE THE CHILDREN WITH THE GOVERNMENT. Why should he pay the majority towards them while she lives it up smoking her head off in a council house bed and board paid by all of us? Does the government kick her out to work? ........No

My little treasure of a benefit monster has just declared herself bancrupt, writing off all of her catalogue debt. We unfortunately are still paying off debt she accrued in my OH's name from years ago. I work full time, juggle childcare, spin plates, etc,etc,etc.

THIS PREGNANT WOMAN WHO WORKS FOR A LIVING ASKED FOR YOUR HELP AND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON.

AND YOU JUST KICK HER IN THE TEETH AND QUESTION HER JUDGEMENT ON HAVING KIDS OF HER OWN????

Shame on all of you

The website is about helping people save money - the OP was given information relevant to her income. Unfortunately, csa payments, past debts, living costs are all usually known before family expansion is planned.

Taxpayers should not have to foot the bill for past families. Whether parents should be allowed to live on benefits for years is a matter related to the benefits system, not csa - whatever your husbands ex does it is unlikely to change the payment he would have to make anyway!

Why you are criticising your husbands ex for going bankrupt when you are looking into the same yourself is rather hypocritical.

kelloggs36

Yes Yes unfortunately it's all of our fault isn't it? We made the terrible mistake of marrying men with children. Oh and God forbid we would like to have chldren ourselves!!!!


Actually it is all your fault if you think about it. Did anybody hold a gun to your head and make you marry him? Did anybody threaten your life and make you get together with him? NO? Well, you chose your partner, you must take all the baggage that goes with it and get on with it. You need to be sensible and make sure you can actually afford to live, before making additional committments.

munkyface

You know what you are all right. No one holds a gun to your head. But lets put the shoe on the other foot. Our marriage is now in meltdown, I'm leaving him and now he is going to have two estranged children. If I could turn the clock back IWOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED HIM.

But there is no point in going into this further you have your opinions and I have mine

LizzieS_2

How can a marriage suddenly end in meltdown after you become pregnant with his/your second child? The most disturbing thing though is the way you have put your own decisions ahead of the abilty to provide for your existing flesh and blood.

A little concerned with some advice on your own thread - going to add something.

kelloggs36

munkyface wrote: »

You know what you are all right. No one holds a gun to your head. But lets put the shoe on the other foot. Our marriage is now in meltdown, I'm leaving him and now he is going to have two estranged children. If I could turn the clock back IWOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED HIM.

But there is no point in going into this further you have your opinions and I have mine

i wish you all the best in your decision, but it isn't his first ex's fault that you can't afford your mortgage because you couldn't afford it before, even when the CSA came along - you chose not to pay the CSA to pay your mortgage, you said it yourself. You know what you have coming in and what you have to pay out - cut your cloth so to speak. He doesn't have to be estranged from your child - that means he has no contact - are you going to stop that? I take it you won't be claiming child support from him?

rchddap1

All people are trying to do here munkyface is to give the OP their honest opinion and any help if they are able to. No-one is saying that children shouldn't exist or marriages shouldn't have taken place. No-one would say that. That past is the past. Choices have been made and there's no going back. All people want to do is help as best they can with the situation as it stands and help for the future to be better.

They can't do that if they're not honest.

I honestly hope that you're able to sort out your problems and find a future that is good for both yourself, your children and your (ex/current) partner.

minimee_2

Jeez, look at you lot getting all ruffled! Our house has two bedrooms? WHY? Do you want pictures?
What a !!!! site this is! Iv posted loads of questions, under another name too, and I hardly ever get replies without lots of bumping! And as soon as I post something that a few of you disagree about - look at everyones fingers go!!
Well I just hope none of you are ever in our situation, but of course, you're all perfect and just go and get extra jobs wont you, because theyre sooo easy to find right now!
I certainly wont be coming back to this site, its unhelpful at the least. People only reply to have a go. So I'll go back to sorting my life and head out all by myself again. Forget that Im in tears right now again because my life so !!!!, but what do you lot care? None have you have got money problems right?Thanks for the support.

MrsE_2

minimee wrote: »

Jeez, look at you lot getting all ruffled! Our house has two bedrooms? WHY? Do you want pictures?
What a !!!! site this is! Iv posted loads of questions, under another name too, and I hardly ever get replies without lots of bumping! And as soon as I post something that a few of you disagree about - look at everyones fingers go!!
Well I just hope none of you are ever in our situation, but of course, you're all perfect and just go and get extra jobs wont you, because theyre sooo easy to find right now!
I certainly wont be coming back to this site, its unhelpful at the least. People only reply to have a go. So I'll go back to sorting my life and head out all by myself again. Forget that Im in tears right now again because my life so !!!!, but what do you lot care? None have you have got money problems right?Thanks for the support.

NO everyone has been horrible & judgemental, I certainly haven't!

I suggested you go to the CAB, as they can be a real help to people, for FREE.

Less of the "you lot" thank you.

LizzieS_2

minimee wrote: »

Jeez, look at you lot getting all ruffled! Our house has two bedrooms? WHY? Do you want pictures?
What a !!!! site this is! Iv posted loads of questions, under another name too, and I hardly ever get replies without lots of bumping! And as soon as I post something that a few of you disagree about - look at everyones fingers go!!
Well I just hope none of you are ever in our situation, but of course, you're all perfect and just go and get extra jobs wont you, because theyre sooo easy to find right now!
I certainly wont be coming back to this site, its unhelpful at the least. People only reply to have a go. So I'll go back to sorting my life and head out all by myself again. Forget that Im in tears right now again because my life so !!!!, but what do you lot care? None have you have got money problems right?Thanks for the support.

You came on clearly stating your outgoings even without csa were greater than incomings, you also mentioned that you are on maternity leave. What answers were you looking for???? You were given various suggestions by various posters over how to increase incomings and/or reduce optional outgoings. The alternative was to just sympathise and tell you to carry on accruing further debt - do you seriously think that would help you!!!!!

The information I gave you was from advice I have taken myself, and taking that responsible attitude myself indeed does mean that I am not sat in a situation like you are now.

lauren_1

Are you still getting maternity allowance or SMP?