CSA will be taking more than my weekly wage. PLEASE help!!!

rchddap1

What's happened has happened. CSA are perfectly right in taking money that rightly belong elsewhere. Men can't simply create children and leave the mums to deal with everything.

It sounds like you have a serious cashflow issue even without this problem. I know its upsetting but this is the reality. You both need to sit down and work out what you are going to do about it. You can't simply hide from responsiblities...and that's what these other 2 kids are...responsibilities. Yes there are your children too, but how would you feel if the situation was reversed?

What if your children were getting nothing from their dad?

I have the luxury of being a SAHM (although things are tight) at the moment. However, things will change in about a year once the free childcare kicks in. But it won't just be for the money. It will be for me too. You need to get out without the kids for your own sanity. Please consider a job.

Can family do the childcare? Could you work when your partner isn't? Yes its not nice, but its reality. You need to get your head above water financially.

However, talking to the CAB about things is a good idea. Just because the CSA says 'I want' it doesn't stop you from checking that they are asking for the right amount in your circumstances.

I hope you work things out.

iluvfreebies

The only thing i can suggests is that your partner contacts the csa to ensure that the assessment is correct. The fact that it is set up to be taken from his earnings suggests he has been non compliant so any collection for arrears etc will be much higher than if he cooperated with the agency. As others have stated previously maintenance payments is something that is going to have to be factored into your budget and you may need to contact someone for advice on this as much as anything else. perhaps the cab

frugallass

Cornball wrote: »

It isn't the answer to everyones problems but the hard truth is that if you need more income you need to work for it. Being a full time SAHM is a luxury when you may lose the roof over your head for goodness sake! A part-time income could easily be worked around the other partners shift, just until the finances are under control.

she isn't a SAHM - she's on maternity leave

frugallass

LizzieS wrote: »

I give people the only available solution that suits their circumstances best, ie there is little point complaining income is too low and blaming the csa when only one of their own household is working.

Not all employment options include using childcare, though sometimes it still pays better to follow that path.

.

They seem to be in quite a financial mess and taking on a second job probably wouldn't pay a huge amount of their debts and may incur extra taxation on her wages. Anyway even if she manage to get a bit of extra income it isn't going to help much in the short term by the looks of things.

LizzieS_2

As Tesco says "every little helps". PS, I wasn't suggesting a 2nd job for OP but either returning to existing job early or doing a different job that would provide more income than the existing one after childcare costs.

Agree, they are in a complete mess and csa is not the cause of it. Taking more than the minimum maternity leave is not exactly wise if you know your household is 1K a month down during that time (NB csa is not 1K per month).

Cornball

frugallass wrote: »

she isn't a SAHM - she's on maternity leave

Maternity leave that is a luxury when you can't pay the mortgage. Agree with the consensus that child maintenance is really not the overall problem here though.

Perhaps the OP should post in the dfw forum for debt management advice. Good luck.

lauren_1

When does your maternity leave end?
Will you be going back?

munkyface

Yes Yes unfortunately it's all of our fault isn't it? We made the terrible mistake of marrying men with children. Oh and God forbid we would like to have chldren ourselves!!!!

You are all having a go because Minimee is aggrieved at her OH's Ex for living on benefits for most of her natural born life. Damn right! Her wages ARE taken into account. Why should she work her backside off and have all of this worry while her OH's Ex sits on hers raking in benefits? IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE HER OH DID NOT CREATE THE CHILDREN WITH THE GOVERNMENT. Why should he pay the majority towards them while she lives it up smoking her head off in a council house bed and board paid by all of us? Does the government kick her out to work? ........No

My little treasure of a benefit monster has just declared herself bancrupt, writing off all of her catalogue debt. We unfortunately are still paying off debt she accrued in my OH's name from years ago. I work full time, juggle childcare, spin plates, etc,etc,etc.

THIS PREGNANT WOMAN WHO WORKS FOR A LIVING ASKED FOR YOUR HELP AND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON.

AND YOU JUST KICK HER IN THE TEETH AND QUESTION HER JUDGEMENT ON HAVING KIDS OF HER OWN????

Shame on all of you

Kimberley

Why do men/women have more children with a new partner if they cannot afford to pay for their existing children with an ex then moan about it?

My situation is pretty good at the moment, but I was between 16 years ago and 5 years ago solely on income support and thats from the first child, then I had my second and third child whilst still on IS and each time I was worse off, but that was my mistake and my own fault. We have to be responsible for our own path in life.

You have your health, your children, a partner, a house so maybe you should stop being selfish and think about the ones out there who are really in poverty and ill health.

Think about those living in cardboard city who don't have a roof over their heads or any money. Think about those living in third world countries, you may then realise you are better off and you are able to find a job that many people cannot do.

kelloggs36

munkyface wrote: »

Yes Yes unfortunately it's all of our fault isn't it? We made the terrible mistake of marrying men with children. Oh and God forbid we would like to have chldren ourselves!!!!

You are all having a go because Minimee is aggrieved at her OH's Ex for living on benefits for most of her natural born life. Damn right! Her wages ARE taken into account. NO they aren't - I don't know where you get that idea from. Why should she work her backside off and have all of this worry while her OH's Ex sits on hers raking in benefits? IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE HER OH DID NOT CREATE THE CHILDREN WITH THE GOVERNMENT. Quite right, but then why should the taxpayer pick up the tab when that child does in fact have 2 parents? The contribution made by that other parent in no way means they pay in full for the true costs of bringing up that child. Why should he pay the majority towards them while she lives it up smoking her head off in a council house bed and board paid by all of us? Does the government kick her out to work? ........No because most people scream and shout at how unfair it is. I agree that most parents should work if they can but bringing up children is in fact a very hard job and not always conducive to working outside.

My little treasure of a benefit monster has just declared herself bancrupt, writing off all of her catalogue debt. We unfortunately are still paying off debt she accrued in my OH's name from years ago. I work full time, juggle childcare, spin plates, etc,etc,etc. And so do the rest of us even if we don't have to pay child support - it is the luck of the draw who you get together with, but to be brutally honest, you knew he had children before getting together, so you can't blame the ex for your situation because you could have taken another path.

THIS PREGNANT WOMAN WHO WORKS FOR A LIVING ASKED FOR YOUR HELP AND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON.

AND YOU JUST KICK HER IN THE TEETH AND QUESTION HER JUDGEMENT ON HAVING KIDS OF HER OWN????

Shame on all of you

Nobody made the OP get together and buy a house with her partner - that was a conscious choice she made. She can't expect him to forego his existing responsibilities because they are inconvenient. He had children already, so she has to face and accept that, and what they should have done is to factor the costs of that support into their lives before committing themselves to further financial responsibilities such as a large mortgage or more children. Don't blame the ex, you do have to look inward and take some responsibility for the situation you are in.