Feeling like my world is falling apart

fletch3163

You know, so many of us trundle and trudge through this nonsense called life and we forget its purpose. You and your husband have just had a wee window of clarity, that's all, and you do what you do for yourselves and for each other. That's refreshing and worth more than money if you ask me.

Two years ago the stress of my job made my hair fall out and my DH didn't support my pleas to quit. He felt I was jeopardising our wellbeing by saving my own. Thankfully my hair grew back and my world got better, but still...

newyorkcitybride

Verbatim wrote: »

As your OH isn't working right now am I right in thinking that the petrol won't be that high? One good thing if so.

As you're a seasoned dfw I guess you can advise yourself on the usual stuff! Menu planning around what you have in freezer/storecupboard, spending diary, utilities switching etc

How about getting your OH to do some surveys and mystery shops while he's off to up your income a little. Oh and well done on getting your debt down over 2k in 2 months!

Yeah hopefully pertrol wont factor in any great way anymore as we live down the road from Asda, and I walk into work....

You'd think as a seasoned DFW I would know what Im doing, but to be honest with you, I really dont, hence the need to get back to basics in quite an extreme way!

our utilities are all pretty good at the mo, we only have electric as water rates are included in our rent.... plus our last bill was £86 for 5 months.... so was quite chuffed with that....

newyorkcitybride

OK So I went offline and had a little cry to myself, and then OH saw me, so I had a little cry on his soulder as well....
I guess I can take some solice in the fact that I am aware of what could happen, so I guess maybe my next step should be to have some sort of action plan for if the worst should happen....

Also think I should add in that OH has been really job hunting since he handed in his notice, and he's only had to work a one week notice due to his leave that he's owed, so one week to find a job.... I cant expect miracles really....

Now he got paid today, and I get paid tomorrow. I've already paid this months I.F payment, and opted for the minimum due, of £12.59.... I'm hoping if we opt for the minimum repayments this month and keep some cash aside, we could cover them next month as well with whats normally the overpayments. It just feels like a real blow for the debt repayments to have to be slowed right down due to this "bump in the road"... but I guess its better this way than having nothing to pay them with next month!

Now luckily our holiday is all paid for, and our spending money organised, so in a way thats one weeks worth of food shopping I wont have to worry about paying for out of this months wages....

However I have received a letter from Buchanan Clarks and Wells regarding an overdue EDF Energy bill which is addressed to me, and I can only presume its from my previous flat.... however since I didnt leave a forwarding address, how could they know that I live here?

Has anyone had any problems with this before? I'm going to call them 2moro to ask what address it is in relation to, and see what happens from there. Its £150 and admittedly I havent even had my deposit back from that flat yet £800 as I couldnt find any of my meter numbers to proove I didnt owe any utilities... I guess this is a good kick up the backside to get that all straightened out, as that is part of the 4500 that I owe to my Mum.... as she lent me the deposit for the flat..... crikey! Life can be so confusing sometimes....

Ames

I had the same thing with npower. I'm bipolar and wasn't in a good place when I moved so I didn't get final readings (didn't have access to the meter anyway). My landlord kept my deposit so I assumed it was all sorted, then I got a bill. Unfortunately I've had to pay it.

themaccas

Hi NYCB, I can understand your OH and what he has done. I too left a stressful job several years ago that was inducing panic attacks every time I stepped throught the doors. We couldn't really afford for me to quit work but my OH supported me and I took a few months out to gather myself. In that time we just cut right back and made minimum payments on everything. Then a couple of months later we moved house and it did wonders, I applied for jobs and was soon back to work, much happier. From my experience, if you are that unhappy with your work it's time for action, you OH seems to have a great work ethic and highly motivated to find work. I wish you both the best.

newyorkcitybride

Thanks Ames - I probably am liable for this, so I make no bones with it, I'm just concerned about how they got my new address since I didnt leave a forwarding address with them or my old landlord....

Maccas - Thankyou for your words. yes OH does have a really good work ethic. I just panic because people seem to be getting made redundant left right and centre, and he hasnt heard anything from any applications just yet. He's sent off at least 15 in the past week...
We are going to cut back to just the minimums for this month I think, to hopefully have some left back for next months...
I'd rather have him happy and struggle financially than anything else. He has been looking into some jobs which would require us to relocate but since we havent got any ties to where we are, only my work, we're quite mobile like that. And I've heard up north is quite a bit cheaper than down south..... so that would help quite a bit too!

Ames

They probably got your address through the electoral roll. Npower said they had to trace me and added £7 onto the bill for having done it. Since they were supplier in my new place I don't see how they had to try so hard, but apparently they did.

Up north is much cheaper - I live in Leeds and my sister's in Cambridge and the differences in what we pay for things is astronomical.

Sammy_Girl

Hi NYCB :hello:

I'm sorry to hear your news. Firstly, I would like to say a huge well done on paying £2k on your debts in 2 months, that is absolutely fantasttic :j . I think you have made the right decision in making the minimum payments this month. At least you're still paying some of the debt off and you're not defaulting. In the past, I have been in a similar situation, and defaulted on everything. That's why I'm where I am today Your head is not in the sand and you're more than aware of your obligations :T

As mentioned by other posters, you both sound like that you have a very strong work ethic, so no doubt your OH will find work soon. BTW, I work in the security industry and I know a lot of people in this industry who are ex armed forces. It seems to be a natural progression for many of them, and if you get with the right company it can pay very well. Please PM me of you want any more info.

Finally, you sound like you have had such a fantastic 12 months with the New York wedding, that there is no way that you're gonna let a little glitch like this get you down. Positive things happen to positive people

Sammy x

PS I have been having a huge think about photographers for my wedding, and we will discuss very soon, if you're still interested??

newyorkcitybride

Damn that electoral roll!
I might try and asked for a split payment, half this month, half next month... Just to make it a bit easier....
Its exactly the same for me, EDF are the suppliers here too! Oh well.... something else to add onto the list!

Have just been mooching online and discovered for what we pay here we could have a 4 bed semi detached house in Darlington... instead we're in a one bed ground floor flat in Kent.... its shocking.
OH has always wanted to join the Fire Brigade so we're looking at what services are beginning recruitment and if he gets in, we could move come the new year....

I've set up a little mini challenge for myself to feel like I'm in some form of control.
I've got a list of all the direct debits that come out of my accounts (I have one for wages and one for debts) and my challenge is to not spend anything other than those direct debits/standing orders, and grocery shopping until we go on holiday which is exactly one month away (fly 26th July!)...

I figured it would give me some sense of stability and control over something (which is what I generally need in order to feel grounded) plus would create a small buffer of money for next month in case.
So my rules are:
No spending before holiday
No spending on holiday which isnt already paid for (i.e from the dollars we have exchanged already)
£150 limit on food shopping up until 26th July (day we fly)
Only transactions to appear on bank statements are DD/SO, and grocery shopping.

This should then leave me with £156 26th July...

Now obviously with this EDF Energy bill that'll get eaten up..... so will try and get a 2 month payment set up on that one....

Does that seem reasonable????

Ames

That sounds like a great plan!