Good friend and I going for same job... advice pls

mwa

Hello,

A couple of weeks ago I saw a job in the paper which I decided to apply for. Money is tight and I hate my job etc. so this one looked ideal, I have all the right experience and skills and felt I had a good chance of an interview.

I invited 2 of my close friends over for dinner one night and we chatted about life in general so I told them about this job. It turned out to be the old job of my close friend which she left around 3 years ago. Since then she's had a baby and is trying to return to work, although this wasn't her last job if that makes sense. I said to her she should apply but she said no, she wasn't interested plus she wanted part time (and this was fulltime)

Anyway, my application was submitted. A few days later I heard from the other friend who was at the dinner that my friend was applying for the job, not only that but she'd arranged a meeting with her old boss to discuss it and was going in that day! I felt this to be very unfair as in my eyes this is canvassing. I saw her that night and she was totally blase about it, didn't mention the fact I'd applied and that she'd said she wasn't interested, she just went on and on about how much they wanted her back and that 'they had to go through the formalities' of an application process, implying the job was hers. She also seems to think that they will give her job share AND restore her continous service from before (which won't happen) - she's forever implying they'll do anything to get her back.

The closing date is next week and so we'll see what happens. I was very close to withdrawing but then I thought why the hell should I, I'd understand if it was the job she'd left to go on maternity for or whatever but this was 3 years ago. Also she's going around to everyone telling them she's applying for 'her old job' which I feel makes me look bad for applying for people who don't know the full story.

I have been really upset about this all week and would appreciate anyone else's view on this. I realise it is a competetive process and don't have issue with the fact she's applying, it's just the way she's gone about it.

Mwa

CB1979_2

why be upset about it?

that's business.

would you care if you hadn't applied? NO

so don't let it bother you, no point even going for the interview (if you get one) with such a defeated outlook already.

completelyspent

mwa I'm in a very similar situation at the moment with a friend and I going for the same job-I have encouraged her but she has not been encouraging back and that has been disappointing but i've figured it is their problem. Don't withdraw-you'll only kick yourself if your friend doesn't get the job and they give it to someone else. It sounds like she is trying to get you to withdraw by being unsupportive. Interviews are always good experience as well...good luck!

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Let the best man win. This happened to me a few years ago and luckily even though only one job was advertised we both managed to get one due to more funding becoming available. We both agreed that we would be happy for each other whatever the outcome. In a small world when your friend does the same job and there are limited opportunities this can very easily happen. I don't see a problem here both parties have an entitlement to apply. Perhaps your friend didn't say anything because she knew what your reaction would be. There is nothing stopping you visiting the company prior to the interview on a fact finding mission which will allow the interviewer to get a better impression of you. It is not a foregone conclusion yet so make sure you are the best candidate for the job. Do your homework and create the right impression.
Little interview tip- take a notebook in to write down the questions. It ensures you don't forget the question due to nerves and gives you time to think and plan an answer. Always worked for me.
Good luck and whatever the outcome accept it with good grace.

weegie.geek

The way she's gone about it? She's gone about it admirably.

If she can get the job again via this backdoor method, why not? Isn't it better for the company if they get someone who already knows the job? Someone who, assuming they're considering giving it to her, was good at the job?

You already have a job. She's going back to work after having a baby, which can be very difficult, both from a personal perspective, and the perspective of an employer being reluctant to employ someone who's been out of that kind of environment for a few years.

Fair play to her. If she's your friend you should be happy for her, instead of moaning about it. If you were the better candidate I'm sure you'd get the job.

Why does it make you feel bad that you're applying for "her" job? It's a competitive market. If you got it and she didn't, it'd be because you were more suitable.
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Mips

Go for it

You never know, they may actually have found her to be very arrogant and presumptuous about getting her old job back

And very possibly just fobbed her off with that excuse.

sismith42

mwa wrote: »

Hello,
I invited 2 of my close friends over for dinner one night and we chatted about life in general so I told them about this job. It turned out to be the old job of my close friend which she left around 3 years ago. Since then she's had a baby and is trying to return to work, although this wasn't her last job if that makes sense. I said to her she should apply but she said no, she wasn't interested plus she wanted part time (and this was fulltime)

Anyway, my application was submitted. A few days later I heard from the other friend who was at the dinner that my friend was applying for the job, not only that but she'd arranged a meeting with her old boss to discuss it and was going in that day! I felt this to be very unfair as in my eyes this is canvassing.
Mwa

So, basically, a couple days passed from "oh, no, not interested, it's not part time, etc" to "so-and-so has a meeting with her old boss tomorow"...? Sounds a bit odd to me, too...

S

Tigsteroonie

I'm afraid I think you have to accept the situation with good grace - if your friend really does have an "in" that'll increase her chances, then you won't be able to fight that. However, still give it your best try - you never know, there could be something in her work history that means they don't actually want her back, you only have her word for it!

McKneff

did you say she was your 'friend'
take everything she says with a pinch of salt.
i hope you get the interview and the job. that'll shut her up.
i think shes being mean gobbing off. Youre obviously more of a freind to her
than she is to you. maybe not anymore eh. Bet she wont get an invite
to dinner again

weegie.geek

I think some people are being a bit harsh about your friend.

She's been off with the baby. Maybe people talking about there being a job at her old work put the idea of going back to work into her head, and then for the next day or two she thought about it, and decided it was a good idea?

Now she's talking about it because she's quite into the idea, and excited about going back to work?

She may well be exaggerating about how well the meeting went, to try and put you off, but if she's your friend, shouldn't you give her the benefit of the doubt?

If you really think she'd do what you seem to be accusing her of, you must have a lot of "friends". It's a word I reserve for people I know, trust and respect.

If she's doing what you're accusing her of, she's not really a friend, so why not cut your losses, accept that 99% of people out there are !!!!!!, and move on?

essexgal

Sounds like she's trying to 'psych you out' to me.

Likely she's worried you have a very good chance of getting the job - especially as you can commit to work full-time and she only wants part-time....and what happens if she can't get suitable childcare i.e. emergency cover if child is ill (childminders/nurseries don't take them then), school holidays, etc. etc. Plus if they employed her they'd have to find someone to jobshare with her.

Be in her best interests if you withdrew wouldn't it....? And if she talks herself up, and gets you feeling so anxious you blow the interview....

Play her at her own game, emphasize that this job could have been made for you, you can commit 100%, etc, etc, and be confident that you can get this job on merit alone and don't have to rely on 'who you know'.

Or better - get your CV into a local agency and get an even better job than this ----:D

Good Luck

essexgal