Good friend and I going for same job... advice pls

Dill

I don't know.. it sounds to me like your friend's got thinking about you doing "her" old job and has got a bit insecure or resentful about it? Hence her telling you they're dying to have her back, etc.

I wouldn't withdraw your application.

bringmeshoes

something similar has happend to me this week. on monday my manager came and told my team that a 3 month secondement had come up that day (it's a new role, a trial at the mo) and asked if anyone would be interested in it, most of my team said we were. A couple of hours later my manager called me over to tell me that i had got it. i went to tell some of the people on the team that i had got the job, i didn't shout about it or gloat i just said i would be leaving the team for a few months as i had got the job, it was starting the next day . most people were ok but the person on the team who i am closest to has been a bit off with me since and asked how i got the job when we all applied. i told her (truthfully) that i didn't know how it was decided or who had made the descision (as it was on a different team, i know it was not my manager that made the decision) but now i feel like i'm getting a bit of the cold shoulder and i havent done anything wrong

BallandChain

Mwa, whatever you do don't withdraw your application. This so called friend is just trying to better her chances by getting you to feel you don't stand a chance. You do! I'd be interested in why she left that particular job, as she went on to another one before having the baby. It doesn't sound as if she liked that job enough to stay!

It's already been mentioned on here but if she's just had a baby they might not be interested. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

butterfly72

When I was a student nurse I did my final placement on a really nice ward. I told the sister that I would be interested in a job and she said she would love me to work there but there was a recruitment freeze. Anyhow, on the other side of the hospital my mate was pestering the Matron every day for a job on her ward. The Matron offered her an interview (despite the jobs freeze and no adverts being put out) and she was offered a job on my ward!! When she rang to tell me she said in a really excited happy for herself voice 'I got a job and guess where it is??!...... your ward!!' I couldn't believe it! I said well done but to be honest I'm a bit miffed as I was told there was no job on my ward! I was honest at least. If it had been me I have been really apologetic and sensitive.

All this had happened whilst the sister on my ward was on holiday. she was really angry when she got back and of course I complained to her. As it happened I ended up with a job in another hospital and 1 month later her job offer was withdrawn because she had taken so much time off as a student and the reference wasn't up to scratch. Thats what she told me anyhow. Karma!

We dont really keep in touch much anymore. I think deep down she blames me for complaining and not being happy for her when she got the job. I think she thinks that I'm not a real friend for not being happy. (If I wasn't a real friend I'd of had her for plagarising my uni work.. but thats a different story and karma was that I got a first class hons!!)

Hopefully karma will happen for you too!!

ailuro2

Once you have your foot in the door for an interview, even if you don't get this one, you might impress the right people and be right for something else. Mention your friend in the interview,if it's appropriate, tell them she said the company was very flexible, family friendly etc, and a good company to work for, then tell them you're not needing flexibility, but it's nice to see they treat ppl with children equally, it gives you great confidence in the integrity of the company etc....;)

misty

You invited her for dinner and suggested she apply and are now narkedthat she has done what you suggested. Why did you suggest it if you didn't want her to apply?

I don't think talkin to somone about the job is canvassing- she is checking what has changed. Why don't you phone up and ask to have a chat - if they say no then you have cause to complain about unfair treatment - but at the moment she is just showin iniative.

Maybe she went home and said to her partner/mother etc - X suggested I went for a job but I said no and they have persuaded her having a chat and applying wouldn't hurt.

If you are annoyed about it - then you should talk to her about it. If she is really gloating about it then say something - could you be interpreting her comments as gloating because you are annoyed she has applied - something you suggested anyway. Did you not mean it when you suggested it? or did you suggest it knowing she wouldn't / couldn't apply for it?

BallandChain

I just re-read the OP's post and I missed the bit initially where she told the friend to apply for the job too. It sheds a new light on things and I have to agree with Misty.

dad-of-4

nah i think alot of posters are missing Op's point here, if im correct shes narked at the unfriendly way her friend has gone about things, and if thats the case, quite rightly so its not the way friends should behave.. and i dont mean trying to do a behind the scenes deal, just the whole insensativity of the way shes boasted as if she didnt know OP was applying.

as far as the friend trying to use connections go, i realy cant say i blame her, infact i think i would be correct in saying that ive only ever needed to apply for 2 jobs in my whole life, where i had to go thru an interview process, the rest have all come thru connections or just being in the right place at the right time.

its worng of her to act as if she found the job for her self and she doesnt know your applying,

its a atleast insensative and at worst shes trying to psyche you out as shes fearing the competition.

hold out for it, and ill cross my fingers you come out on top. just remeber if you get it, rub her nose in it, by telling her they thought you were far and away the best candidate, etc. hype your self up as if she hadnt even applied, the way she has done to you, and then just call it even.,

OP, just tough it out, i cant see that i would ever realy feel the need to re-employ an x-member of staff, certainly not on the grounds your friend is claiming, I can see that it sounds good on the surface, but lets face it if 3 years have passed its possable the company has moved on somewhat not only could the job have changed a bit but there could be a whole new bunch of people working there aswell,

Ultimatly i would expect any company would want the best candidate, and i realy dont think anyone who worked there 3 years ago would automaticly be considered the best.

Savvy_Sue

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view

It sounds like a lot of opinions here are quite strong, I think it is a little backhanded of your friend, sure all is fair in love and business! however, she could have been upfront with you. It's a tricky situation and not a nice one to be in.

Just go for it however, you truly have nothing to lose, if you get the interview and don't get the job, it's good practice, if you do get the job, well it was worth it in the long run!

Have a look around for other jobs aswell, there might just be somethign else out there that suits you too.

The Scots have a great saying "what's for you, no' go by you" - ie if it's meant to be, it will be.

Try to stand above this and to be honest, I wouldn't have much to do with this 'friend' going forward.

All the best
GJ