sensitive question about young boys

sarahh112

Hi

Since having my little boy eight months ago - nothing surprises me! As soon as his nappy comes off - he is straight in there having a play, regardless of hwo much I try and stop him. I wondered at first if it was natural, but my friend, who has three boys (all under 3 1/2 years old) says that this is perfectly natural. I have lost count of the number of times I have seen her 3 1/2 year old running around todger in hand pulling it like there is no tomorrow.

I really wouldn't worry and I very much doubt that it is the 9 year old that has shown him how to do it. I think its just a phase that they grow in and out of throughout childhood and adulthood

NUFCnutter

How does your daughter know that her nephew has "taught" the three year old how to masturbate? Or is she just assuming this. I would ignor her to be honest, don't mention it and if she brings it up again, just remind her that it is normal for little boys of 3 and younger to masturbate and that no-one has necessarily shown him how to.

Its easy for some parents to believe that their child is perfect, but masturbation is a normal thing for any child to do, and her reaction is just one of shock. If she ignores the action or tells her son that if he wants to do that he must do it in private then he will probably not masturbate in public any more.

vwcampervan72

Soooo glad ive got two girls.........

bestpud

Looks to me as though the three year old has received a negative reaction to his behaviour and now thinks it is something bad. If that is the case, he would rather blame someone else than admit he likes it iyswim?

I'd ignore it for now and see what happens.

sticher

I also have 3 sons and nobody has had to 'show' them that the 'extra bits' that boys have are definitiely for playing with, lol.

It is totally natural for boys to play with themselves (I think masturbate is too strong a word for little boys of such young ages personally) and any mother of older boys would not be shocked at such behaviour.

Personally if it was me I wouldn't make an issue out of it. A simple 'leave it alone' in a playful voice eventually gets the message across that it is better to do certain things in private.

virgin_moneysaver

when my eldest son was 2 the doctor said he may have to be circumcised due to a tight foreskin but whilst waiting for the op to try & stretch the skin in the bath, he said even though my son would NATURALLY play with his penis he may need help - I've got 2 boys & yes they did like to have a fiddle when little!

suki1964

Personally I would find time to sit down with the 9 year old and start on the facts of life - starting with masturbation, how its a a nice thing and how all boys do it - but in the privacy of their own bedroom or within a loving relationship. Im sure theres lots of books or leaflets out there available? (been a long time since I had this discussion and was very ill prepared )

As for the three year old - well what can he understand other then holding his willy is nice? Id leave him alone tbh, it could just be a comfort thing for now and he will grow out of it (to grow straight back into it when a bit older )

miserly_mum

suki1964 wrote: »

Personally I would find time to sit down with the 9 year old and start on the facts of life - starting with masturbation, how its a a nice thing and how all boys do it - but in the privacy of their own bedroom or within a loving relationship. Im sure theres lots of books or leaflets out there available? (been a long time since I had this discussion and was very ill prepared )

As for the three year old - well what can he understand other then holding his willy is nice? Id leave him alone tbh, it could just be a comfort thing for now and he will grow out of it (to grow straight back into it when a bit older )

If you read the Original Post it's the 3 year olds Mum who is assuming the 9 year old has showed her son how to play with himself.

There is actually nothing to suggest that this is the case.

As most of us with sons know little boys don't need any encouragement to find their willies.

suki1964

miserly_mum wrote: »

If you read the Original Post it's the 3 year olds Mum who is assuming the 9 year old has showed her son how to play with himself.

There is actually nothing to suggest that this is the case.

As most of us with sons know little boys don't need any encouragement to find their willies.

I did read the post thankyou very much and i cant see what in my posting has caused you so much distress?

Have I said or even suggested that the 9 year old has taught the 3 year old anything?

Is Nine not a good age to start on the facts of life? I know my own step son was about that age or even a bit younger when his sister caught him so its not like its unheard of of 9 year olds becoming more aware of their bodies and functions (to keep it polite)

And as I still say dont even bother worrying the three year old, just ignore it

miserly_mum

suki1964 wrote: »

I did read the post thankyou very much and i cant see what in my posting has caused you so much distress?

Have I said or even suggested that the 9 year old has taught the 3 year old anything?

Is Nine not a good age to start on the facts of life? I know my own step son was about that age or even a bit younger when his sister caught him so its not like its unheard of of 9 year olds becoming more aware of their bodies and functions (to keep it polite)

And as I still say dont even bother worrying the three year old, just ignore it

I'm sorry if I offended you, its just that a few previous posters had got kind of confused after reading the original post.(myself included, I had to read it twice) as to wether the older boy was involved at all.

When I read your post it sounded to me that you were suggesting the "talk" with the 9 year old because you'd misunderstood that he was in some way involved. I was in no way questioning your reading skills

Maybe I jumped to a conclusion too quickly about what you were trying to say , much the same as you did with me.

Apologies again if you found my post offensive, that was never my intention

But that said, would I be wrong in saying that although your advice about the "talk" was excellent, would it not be more appropriate at a time that the older boys Grandparents/guardians thought it was right for him.

As i'm sure you know each child is different and I don't think it should be given to him now, just because of unfounded accusations by the 3 year olds Mum. (I am honestly choosing my words carefully here )