Uninvited random people watching the bride arrive at church!!

melancholly

ScoobieGirl wrote: »

I thought this was a bit instrusive to just turn up, but was told it was perfectly acceptable. My opinion - if you've paid £500+ to hold the service in a church it should be yours for those hours, and you should be able to keep members of the public out. However enforcing that would be impractical.

i think the difference is that some people see the church as a building, while others see it as a community. the expectations of what having a wedding in church will be like will therefore be very different for those two groups. there will probably be a few congregation members muttering about people who have never been to church coming in and getting married there anyway, so the situation can be awkward for both sides. personally, i think it's nice that people get married in church, even if they have never turned up, and equally, i think it's very bizarre to be offended at the idea that people might want to watch! at least if the congregation members are there, there is a fighting chance that someone will know the hymns (i'm sure lots of people have been to weddings where only about 5 people sing ).

calleyw

ScoobieGirl wrote: »

I thought this was a bit instrusive to just turn up, but was told it was perfectly acceptable. My opinion - if you've paid £500+ to hold the service in a church it should be yours for those hours, and you should be able to keep members of the public out. However enforcing that would be impractical.

It is public building and there is nothing that you can do about it.

If you want a quiet private wedding go to a registry office and pull two people off the street to witness it.

I have never heard anything so rude.

Personally I got married in registry office and I was too busy to be worrying about who extra was going to turn up. I was so caught up in the day that I did not even notice to much later that a invited guest had not even turned up.

Yours


Calley

all_change

calleyw wrote: »

It is public building ...
I have never heard anything so rude.

To be fair to the previous poster, it's entirely possible that someone could simply not realise that a church wedding is meant to be a public service. Much of the current "wedding industry" is very much aimed at couples who aren't churchgoers. Little is mentioned about the details of the church service in all of the glossy advertising etc, so it is understandable that it could come as a shock to find that other people are "allowed to come uninvited to your special day".

Churchgoers are simply more likely to know about the public and community aspects of a church before getting married.

ScoobieGirl

all_change and melancholly -thank you both for your elequent replies. I hadn't really considered the community aspect - it was in my mind as solely a building - a sign of me not being a church goer. It's much more natural to expect people to turn up and be interested as to who is being married in thier community. Thank you for the happier viewpoint

melancholly

ScoobieGirl wrote: »

all_change and melancholly -thank you both for your elequent replies. I hadn't really considered the community aspect - it was in my mind as solely a building - a sign of me not being a church goer. It's much more natural to expect people to turn up and be interested as to who is being married in thier community. Thank you for the happier viewpoint

well equally i'd never have thought of it as rude, so will bear that in mind in the future too!

loocyloo

i got married 10 years ago tomorrow!

we had a church ceremony, and an open top car...the church isn't very far from my parents house... so we did a few laps of the town ... so many people yelled out congratualtions and the like, it really made me feel even more 'princess' like.

we had quite a few 'random' visitors to the wedding, i didn't mind, but what i did mind is that one girl managed to be right at the front throwing confetti and in all the photos... and we don't know her! we didn't notice till we saw the photos...

i will always stop to see a bride arrive or the bride and groom come out of church, i think its lovely.

good luck and best wishes xxx

kazwookie

At my church blessing, in a local church where my mother had been a church warden for 10 odd years, other church goers turned up and were where to one side, and IMO it was nice to see them, there was plenty of room, and they helpped with the singing!!:rotfl: .

At the church there is a small grass area to the road, and this grass area was empty when I went in, but was full of parked cars of locals who had come to see us come out, most of them we knew, they mostly came over shook hands / offered best wishes and then went on their way hooting car horns~ which then brought the local police by to see what was going on!! But my brother knew them, they also went on their way, siren going!!

The only person upset by this was the bossy photographer:mad: !! but that is another story.

Have a lovely day, just wave at the crowd as you go in / come out.

bryanb

ScoobieGirl wrote: »

My friend was recently a bridesmaid and was actively encouraging people who knew her or the bride incl those she knew were only invited the the evening "do"

I thought this was a bit instrusive to just turn up, but was told it was perfectly acceptable. My opinion - if you've paid £500+ to hold the service in a church it should be yours for those hours, and you should be able to keep members of the public out. .

Part of the wedding ceremony involves the priest asking if anyone has an objection to the marriage, therefore it is obvious that anyone who may have an objection must be admitted to the church. To do otherwise would invalidate the marriage.

paddingtondoo

loocyloo wrote: »

i got married 10 years ago tomorrow!

Congratulations!
I first got married 16 years ago tomorrow and will be going on my honeymoon (after getting married again not to the same person :rotfl:) 8 weeks today :T

melancholly

bryanb wrote: »

Part of the wedding ceremony involves the priest asking if anyone has an objection to the marriage, therefore it is obvious that anyone who may have an objection must be admitted to the church. To do otherwise would invalidate the marriage.

oooh - hadn't even thought of that!