neighbour hates us

zztopgirl

Thanks everyone, i never thought of keeping a diary. I actually moved here because dh got targeted by a previous neighbour but not as bad as this (he is an easy target for bullies:mad:) they gave me an asbo diary to fill in but thankfully we managed to get transferred quite quickly, my parents moved to a smaller property so i moved to their house to free up my old house. I have actually known the neighbour for years, but didnt know she was going to be a nightmare neighbour, my parents had problems with her but they thought that because we already knew each other, we would get on ok.

The person we need to speak to at the council has been out all day so will call first thing tomorrow, im racking my brain right now but i cant remember the exact date of the incident a few weeks ago. As far as i know she isnt like this with others, but i suppose people just smile at her and be polite, then get away as quick as they can.

Dh has already attempted to be civil again, despite it being her who should be apoligising for her behaviour, but she really has an axe to grind now. Her husband is still speaking to us but seems embarrassed iykwim.

zztopgirl

caris wrote: »

I know its an awful situation to be in, but try really hard to keep your chin up and dont allow yourself toget on there level, you may be lucky and have a decent landlord that will help you, but you must keep a log of all incidents nomatter how small they might be.

Wishing you all the luck in the world to get it resolved
caris

I felt guilty before i typed this because there are people like you who have had so much trouble and im here whinging about this silly entitled woman who lives next door who gets a kick out of picking on the disabled. Its taking me forever to type out these posts because dh has me running round in circles tonight:rolleyes:

Slightly o/t but wondered if this is a common occurence for the disabled (especially those with learning disabilities-dh's disability is quite similar) to get picked on and bullied.

Paparika

Hugs to you hun x

I've had a situation with a neighbour who once she takes a dislike to you.. you've had it.

we live in a building site, have done for 3 and a half years and have a good year or more to go.

so you can imagine the dust and dirt all over our windows.

2 years ago a was having a hard time coping with an illness i have which left me very very fatigued it was an effort to go to work, come home and cook dinner, let alone washing my windows.

so this person launched an 18 month campaign of hate and abuse, really nasty things said to my face etc, it was upsetting as she used to be a very nice woman, my nan had died of cancer 6 months earlier, and we had just lost OH mum to cancer i told her this and told her to back off, she didn't care, so in the end i just went to the police, i knew that she would be scared about a visit from them, (she wouldn't listen to me when i asked her to stop as i was ill)

The police paid her and her husband (he either didn't know or didn't care) a visit and it has now stopped, i just get evil looks from the pair of them now, which i can deal with.God she'd have a field day if she found out about my MS, she'd probably say i'm making it up.

Hold you head up hun, smile sweetly at her, don't retaliate, she will either loose interest or carry on, please do keep a diary as the council will build a case against her if necessary.

Jaiden_2

Definately agree with you about keeping a diary of events. We had a similar story with our ex neighbours. Its so strange how you can be friends for years and then a tiny trigger starts off months of endless stress and torment.

I used to look after my neighbours little girl when she went back to work which suited me as it gave me a little pocket money and my youngest daughter had someone to play with. She would often "forget" to pay me and arrive later than the agreed pick up time, but it would get sorted eventually.

The trigger to all the grief was a new neighbour who moved in, who also had a little girl similar in age to my son, and her eldest son was in the year above my eldest. We discovered we were the same age and had a lot in common so we quickly became good friends. My other neighbour simply got jealous of the time we spent together during the day (my new neighbour was a stay at home mum), and it all kicked off one day when my new neighbour knocked on my door to be a witness to an argument they were having.

It was an argument about their kids namecalling each other which totally spiralled out of control with my ex neighbour practically kicking the hinges off the front door of the new one. As i tried to fix the door, my ex neighbour suddenly turned on me and in the weeks that followed we had to tiptoe around the abuse that she hurled at me and my kids.

We went to the HA and they told us to keep a diary which we both did and they spoke to my ex neighbour to no avail. They offered us both mediation which we were happy to do, but they werent interested. I even had to go to the police on one occasion because this womans husband threatened me.

The day the removal van turned up and they moved, still goes down as one of the happiest days of my life.

I really feel for you am sending lots of ((hugs)) because i know just how upsetting this situation can be.

VK-2008

the neighbours just sound like sick individuals. i hope you and your family get something sorted but dont have too much advice sorry

but my thoughts are with u

xxx

calleyw

CB1979 wrote: »

but as said a diary of anything that happens, CCTV can be bought relatively cheaply now (ie about £30) dictaphone/mobile phone with suitable memory card is cheap enough too.

personally i'd opt for CCTV (can get them that connect to pc or record straight to memory card) doesn't have to be obtrusive either or with them knowing you have it.

No can do. CCTV can only be on your land and is not allowed to view over other peoples land or the public path.

So it can face down over your front door but not down your path on to the public pavement.

Also you have to have signs up about CCTV on your property. Other wise it is illegal and will be the one who ends in court.

Good luck to the op and wish her well.

Yours


Caslley

newbienortherner

Hi there,

Please don't move house if you don't want to, you shouldn't be intimidated out of the area. I work in social housing and we have very strict rules on abusive tenants, particularly those who target vulnerable people. Contact your council and ask to speak to their anti-social behaviour unit (they will have something in place) they can then help you get together evidence of her behaviour and secure an eviction should she fail to stop. Don't buy a load of equipment until they speak to you, they may be able to provide lots of help that's free of charge.

Councils and Housing associations have a responsibility to help those suffering this sort of abuse and certainly don't want people such as yourselves moving out, as the people who replace you will no doubt suffer similar abuse and the real problem tenants are still in place.

BTW, if your neighbours happen to be owner-occupiers or private tenants there is still a lot of legal help available in order to get a conviction against her or some sort of behaivour order.

You should not HAVE to move, she should change her ways or suffer legal/tenancy consequences.

Good Luck

squidge60

hope you get this sorted x

the_other_mce

calleyw wrote: »

No can do. CCTV can only be on your land and is not allowed to view over other peoples land or the public path.

So it can face down over your front door but not down your path on to the public pavement.

Also you have to have signs up about CCTV on your property. Other wise it is illegal and will be the one who ends in court.

Good luck to the op and wish her well.

Yours


Caslley

I think you can have CCTV quite legally to protect your property. As you have said it needs to be trained on your house/door/garden though. However from experience the microphones pick up sound from quite a way off - especially from shouting threatening neighbours.;) You cannot use it as proof in a court of law but it is v. helpful to replay it to H/A, councils etc to show the trouble they are causing you. Worth bearing in mind.... Good Luck...

djjuego

Hi so sorry to hear about the abuse and more that your husband has been treated so badly. So he is disabled but I would say your neigbhours are more disabled than him. We have just moved and my husband is disabled not that you would know it apart from his limp. I explained to the next door neighbour that in winter I would have to put sand or salt on the slope leading to the garage to insure my husband was able to get to the car the answer to this was no way was this going to happen it is a shared drive and he will not have the drive runied by putting sand/salt down. The next day he spoke with my husband over this and refered to his (in his words his gammy leg). My husband is very placid so let it ride, since then he has complained we open and close the metal gate to loud, he has purposely came out to the car to show my husband how to open the gates and then reached in the car and slapped his face twice ( in his words a friendly gester). In the end he started to complain about the fact we park the car in front of our garage which means he now has to reverse his car out and he can't turn round due to having a bad neck. He told my husband "you will have to park your car outside the front of your house on the road". Unforunately my husband swore at him. I tried to calm the situation down explaining that every time work man called at the property he would came out ask them what they wanted they would explain we had requested work to be carried out ( why do the people I asked to come to my property have to answer to a neighbour)? They have now started complaining to them about the how they open/close the gate etc. They watch every move we make, it's like being on Big brother. My heart bleeds for them as I feel my husdand and I have more of a life and we don't have the time nor energy to complain and moan day in and day out. We just can't be brothered by these lonely boring people. I do know like yourself things could get worse so i have started to keep a note of everything. It's so sad that the real disabled people never really get picked up most would benefit from Physiatric help eh! Keep your chin up and remember what you give out is returned twice fold sit back and wait. I hope you find peace soon, and they find what they deserve.