I really need a sounding board please dont critisise

frugallass

Then I can't understand why SS say you would need an assessment - it sounds like they haven't got all the facts right.

Surely your ex would give him a lift to the local station - 10 miles won't leave him that much out of pocket!

If I were you I would ring your son and ask if he fancies spending some of the summer at yours. If he agrees then say 'well, I need to organise it with your dad first'. Speak to ex and make it sound like your doing him a huge favour (which you are).

Does your son get on well with the other kids?

irrelevant

As far as the law and Social Services is concerned, they will do what they think is in the best interests of the child. In addition, at 13yo, they will take into account his views on where he wants to be.

If his father does try to give him up "into care" all that means is Social Services will take control of his well being - and the first thing they will do is try and find a close family member to take him! If you make sure you are known to them, then you'd be the first they call. Without a definite address it's a little hard, but phone the local child protection team and speak to the duty social worker and explain what's going on. If you know the school he's going to, they'll almost certainly be able to track down his address through them. So should you be able to, for that matter, as you'll almost certainly still have parental responsibility, but they'd be able to prove who they are a lot easier.

Obviously leaving a 13yo alone all night is not in his best interests, especially one with ADHD, and is against the law too. I'd certainly push the point that it is NOT safe for him to be in that situation. Be the concerned parent. Don't rant at them for doing nothing. Make sure you come over as the reasonable party, and you'll be half way there in getting them on your side. No point involving the lawyers just yet - take it from me, they'll cost you a fortune and you'll get absolutely nowhere without SS's support anyway.

piratess

Thankyou so much for that last post! Ive had a phone call from social services and basically they wont do anything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she went and had a word with her manager and then rang me back saying there was nothing they could do! and that i needed to seek legal advice to get his address etc

when i said i couldnt get to him immediatly and that he would be alone again tonight she said well what do you want us to do?!?!?!?!

i said would it do any good if i rang the police and she said oh i cant recommend you do that !

what the hell am i supposed to do!

frugallass

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.

I got that from the NSPCC website - maybe give them a call?

piratess

Ooo thankyou ill ring them in a moment .. My daughter is just on phone talking to her nan to find out how my son was last night and whether his dad has said anything since

its so not fair her being in the middle of this! but they wont flaming talk to me even with all this going on!

Uniscots97

piratess wrote: »

Thankyou so much for that last post! Ive had a phone call from social services and basically they wont do anything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she went and had a word with her manager and then rang me back saying there was nothing they could do! and that i needed to seek legal advice to get his address etc

when i said i couldnt get to him immediatly and that he would be alone again tonight she said well what do you want us to do?!?!?!?!

i said would it do any good if i rang the police and she said oh i cant recommend you do that !

what the hell am i supposed to do!

We were always told it was an offence to leave a child under the age of 16 (former local authority worker). Why not call your local police station and ask them for their advise. Tell them though, that although your son is 13 that he has ADHD and that he shouldn't be left alone. The police can force Social Services into action if they think there is a risk.

Sarahsaver

I was just thinking that - the NSPCC are very good at giving advice and know their stuff, whereas SS try to avoid new caseloads in my experience!
Hope you get things sorted soon, this situation is not going to help your son with his ADHD either. My 8 yo. has been diagnosed with ADHD and aspergers but he isnt on meds, but I know that instability is a really bad thing and can set him off on a major meltdown.
have you contacted the child psychology service for their viewpoint? (or whoever did the diagniosis?)

frugallass

unixgirluk wrote: »

We were always told it was an offence to leave a child under the age of 16 (former local authority worker). .

that's what I always thought but apparently not

piratess

Ive rung the centre that diagnosed my son this morning and left a message but as yet noone has rung me back

ive tried them a couple of times but answer machine cuts in

He is the sort of person who will turn a situation to his advantage, when i used to ground him he would climb out of windows whether ground or upper floor
and at one parents evening when he was 7 i was told he was just a naughty child! far to street wise no fear and will end up in prison by the time he uis 16 i walked out in tears .....

My daughter is currently on the phone aparently his dad finished work early last night to go see our son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and aparently is spending time with him at the moment also!

not sure what this means exactly .

princess

Its not illegal to leave a 13 year old alone, even at night. If the child comes to harm the parent could be prosecuted though as they remain responsible for his care. Also with the added adhd soc serv might very likely decide that in this case it is completely inapproriate.