pls help - my marriage has fallen apart

snow_queen

My husband and I have been married nearly 2 years and we have a 1 year old. Are marriage over the last year has broken down and last night he moved out.

I need to know what I might be entitled too. Our daughter is staying with me as I am a stay at home mum although I work self employed part time. We have a joint mortgage on the flat we live in.

Any advice warmly recieved.

Thanks in advance

jellyhead

hello, first of all *HUGS* to you, it must be a difficult time :-(

i don't know anything about joint mortgages, sorry. it might also be worth you posting this on the benefits board.

if you work part time you may be entitled to working tax credit/child tax credit. you have to be working for 16 hours a week. it's explained on the website and you can fill in an online calculator that will tell you what you're entitled to.

if you're on these tax credits you are allowed to keep any maintenance you get from the childs father, they don't count it when they work out how much income you have. it's a bit strange that one, my sister is on working tax credit and she is £250 a month better off than her friend because my sister gets £250 a month in maintenance. if you pay for your childcare while you're working you can claim some of the cost of that in with the working tax credit.

if you have the child for the majority of the time then make sure you're getting the child benefit. there's a 'lone parent' rate which is a bit higher for single parents. make sure you are getting the child tax credit too, i assume you are but if he's claiming it instead then he'll have to stop.

i don't know how you'd go about claiming maintenance, sorry. if you were on income support the CSA would sort it out for you but if you're working part time then you are more likely to be on the tax credits thing and i don't know if they help you to claim the maintenance. sorry i'm being a bit rubbish!!! as a guide the CSA would say he has to pay you 15% of his income but i can't remember if it's net or gross income. if you are on friendly terms with him maybe you can arrange this between yourselves.

sorry i haven't been much help but at least you know the names of the benefits so you can look for the websites if you need to. tax credits are at the inland revenue website.

pandas66

If you have a willing volunteer/wonderful granny get them to babysit for you and head to the citizens advice centre they are packed with useful information. All the advice is free and were excellent with a similar situation and seemed to have it all under one roof, the where to goes etc. Good luck x

Sarahsaver

*HUGS* from me too
I am stuck with paying a mortgage which i cannot change bcos it is in joint names. Ex was removed from the home nearly 2 years ago and still the finances are not sorted. Get on to the dss, csa, tax credits, council tax benefit ASAP. You pay less council tax now because you are the only adult in the property. Keep up with the mortgage, it will only go in your favour in the long run.
Write down dates and times of phonecalls to benefits offices etc, and ask the name of who you spoke to. keep ringing till they sort it out. Apply for things even if you are not sure you are eligible. People will maybe offended by this, but it is true, you will probably be better off financially by NOT working. Your child is young and you are the best person to look after her. The only upside to you working is that if there are any payments via the CSA you will keep them rather than the Dss taking it all and giving you a fiver (?) You may be eligible for milk tokens. Get EVERYTHING you are entitled to. Look after yourself and your daughter. You will both come through this fighting. Please PM me if you want, i have been through all this TWICE with knobs on!

Prudent

Snow Queen. Hugs from me too. It is a very hard position to be in, but you will resolve some of these issues.

I can help with some things having been there myself. Do apply to the CSA straight away. You are only eligible once they receive your completed application form. It is a very slow process. However they are meant to contact the non resident parent within 4 weeks of receiving your application. Make sure you send it in recordered delivery. Then you will be able to prove when they received it. Your assessment should be dated from the day they contact the non resident parent. If you apply on 15th November, they should contact the non resident parent by 15th December. It will (in theory!) then take another 4 weeks for them to gather information and assess the amount to be paid. The payments should be back dated to 15th December (in this example).

In reality it is much slower than this. It took me 18 months to get a reasonable assessment and it is still not correct. Do be persistent though. There are lots of great people on this site that will help you through

As a rough guide a non resident parent pays 15% of their net income for one child. This can be reduced if 1) the child stays with them for more than 51 nights per year or 2) the non resident parent has moved in with or had another family. If you have not reached agreement on who will look after the child and share care, do keep a careful log of which nights each parent has the child as you may need this as evidence.

If your husband's name is also on the mortgage, he is still liable for payments. However if you can keep paying it is wise to do so to avoid a poor credit rating yourself.

GuinnessGirl_2

It may be worth seeing if you can get mediation and legal aid too but I am sure the Citizens Advice will be able to inform you of the best course of action. Although no one wants to involve solicitors, if it can be avoided, it is sometimes "better" to get things straight as soon as possible so that all parties are clear in their minds on the facts from the outset to then be able to move on. I am terribly sorry its such an emotional time. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

snow_queen

many thanks for all your replies

Things are actually very amicable between us, he called last night and had paid some bills. I think he will pay the mortgage and I dont want it to be a war between us and neither does he, for the sake of our daughter - i think we can sort things financially between ourselves re maintenance, but Im hoping to get working tax credit (im not sure if im entitled) and the single council benefit and someone told me about they will pay the interest on your mortage? Ive never claimed in my life apart from maternity benefit so dont have a clue!
Would I be aBble to get income support?
thank you

Jay-Jay_4

You 'may' be able to claim income support based on your income. info on income support Like everyone has said, The CAB will give you info on everything that you're entitled to.

In the meantime, ring Tax Credits and ask them what you may be entitled to or you can input your details on-line to Inland Revenue DO I QUALIFY and they give you a basic outline of the amount you may be entitled to.

If you can keep things amicable between your ex then that's a good start. Try to get him to agree to a set figure for maintanence and agree times for access to your daughter. If you can save yourself a horrible court battle then at all costs do.

System

If its any consolation, Mr Judi and i parted three years ago, despite him wanting to come home i found i was better off on benefits than living with him.  He wasnt on a low wage either.

Hes been back at home now for about 9 months, and i miss the times when i was independant of him financially.  However, i didnt have the worry of losing the house i live in.  

Big hugs to you, it may not be easy at times but you will grow stronger from it.

snow_queen

im so scared of how I am going to cope financially - i rang CAB today and they were closed so will call again tomorrow - ive informed council tax people and child benefit people that we have seperated. Its all very confusing - plus I work self employed about 12 to 18 hours a week and i went to tell the tax people on the inland revenue site and now im not sure even if im self employed or not! my head is spinning and I have a screaming 1 year old that screams even more every time i pick up the phone to make a call. >:( ??? :-/

Jay-Jay_4

First of all "don't panic" snowqueen.

This is going to be really really hard but you can do it. Can you put the baby in bed for a nap while you make your phonecalls?

When you're on the phone, make notes, write everything down. Make a note of the date and time you've phoned and the name of the person you've spoken to. Write down their advice because after 10 phone calls to 10 different people your head starts spinning whether there's a screaming baby in your ear or not.

Why don't you know if you're self employed? I know that you have to work 16 hours a week to claim tax credits so is this causing you problems?