Claim as single?

something_girl

Mollymop5 wrote: »

maybe it's time to sit him down and say,
" Did you know if I was single I'd be entitled to this, this and this.But because you are classed as living here then I don't.We need to chat about your contribution to the household". Then you can take things from there.
He shouldn't really have his cake and eat it now should he!

or perhaps I will just end the relationship and be far better off.... before he started staying with me, I was getting about £7k in tax credits, an astronomical amount, now it's virtually nil.... when it's not what I would call 'a relationship with a future', you can understand how I am feeling a bit peeved with this whole thing.....

ah well :cool:

terryw

something_girl wrote: »

or perhaps I will just end the relationship and be far better off.... before he started staying with me, I was getting about £7k in tax credits, an astronomical amount, now it's virtually nil.... when it's not what I would call 'a relationship with a future', you can understand how I am feeling a bit peeved with this whole thing.....

ah well :cool:

You have a lot of thinking to do. I do not propose to offer help on your personal affairs. You must sort this yourself. Why not show the guy this thread, in particular your last post, and ask for his comments?

Best wishes regardless

terryw

Mollymop5

something_girl wrote: »

or perhaps I will just end the relationship and be far better off.... before he started staying with me, I was getting about £7k in tax credits, an astronomical amount, now it's virtually nil.... when it's not what I would call 'a relationship with a future', you can understand how I am feeling a bit peeved with this whole thing.....

ah well :cool:

I think you're answering your own question really.
As a single parent I just want to let you know I've been in your situation before.
Make a list of the pros and cons of this relationship.Sometimes it's better seeing things written down.

good luck to you

Mips

If it isn't a serious relationship and you haven't even met each others kids.. and he doesn't live with you.. then why are you even questioning claiming single benefits?

I am all against false claims, but basically.. the guy isn't in your house financially contributing...

.. when he does come back and/if your relationship becomes more stable.. then stop the benefits claim.

The fact that you both have kids and they are blithely unaware of the situation speaks volumes to me.

[Deleted User]

liney wrote: »

Your boyfriend has chosen to move away, and now lives with his mother again, or choses to stay in hotels meaning he is short of cash. This is not a reason to not pay his way if he is tehnically living with you for 3 days a week. One would argue (and so would the benefits agency) that the boyfriend should be contributing towards the cost of running the house he lives in half the time instead of you claiming benefits to support yourself. The fact that you don't actually get any money off him is irrelavent - the onus is on you to get the money from him, not expect to have the shortfall made up by the tax payer because he choses to stay in hotels instead of at his other house (mom's). If he is required to travel with work out of the area then surely they would foot the hotel bill, so it is indeed a lifestyle choice he is making.

this is exactly as i see it,i`m a married man and when i was working was often required to work away from home upto 4 nights a week,the fact that i only lived at home 3 nights of those weeks didnt make my wife feel like she was single,neither would the law of the land seen her as being a single mum.
Whilst I hate to be seen as judging anyone,i have to say that if hes living with you 3 nights per week most weeks then you are a couple like it or lump it,and the t/c people and the dwp would also see it that way.
I`m afraid you cant mix and match salaries and or situations just to get the most out of the system,if that sounds harsh then so be it,life is harsh.

moggylover

mitchaa wrote: »

What do you mean they do not pay extra to go elsewhere, yes they do.

If they live on camp, they will pay food/accomodation charges. If they go to Afghanistan for 6 months, they will get this rebated to them.

I too know how the armed forces work

But this is going off topic.....

I personally think the 'single' rule needs clarifying in black and white as its such a grey area.

I.e...Single to me, means no relationship, it means single, you are clearly in a relationship though so this is where it becomes a grey area.

I think it should be on what family/friends would see you as, ie would they say ''Jenny is single'', or would they say ''Jenny has got a boyfriend''

If its just casual sex, meet up once or twice then parents and friends wouldn't say you had a boyfriend, but when it gets more serious where someone stays over frequently then IMO, you are no longer single, you have a boyfirend and you are now attached.

It gets all messy when the financial side of things comes into place and trying to prove this and that.

To me, single should mean exactly that, single. it shouldn't mean having a boyfriend that doesn't contribute like it does at the moment.

IMO anyway.

I like my 1st post, advise you just to be careful, that's all. im not accusing you of anything, im just thinking the way a fraud inspector would Well i think anyway:rotfl:

All the best with your decision.

But that is ridiculous! What if they both have separate houses, and separate everything else - but choose to sleep together every night at one or the other house? Should they then be "forced" to make a committment that they are not yet ready to make?

Relationships are hard enough without the rest of the World saying: "ah well, you sleep together x number of nights per week, and have done for y months - so you have to become financially dependent upon each other". If those working and not claiming any benefits would not be expected to be jumped upon like this - then neither should those on benefits - working ones or otherwise!

moggylover

terryw wrote: »

You have a lot of thinking to do. I do not propose to offer help on your personal affairs. You must sort this yourself. Why not show the guy this thread, in particular your last post, and ask for his comments?

Best wishes regardless

terryw

What a nice guy you are! :A

OP, you sound really unhappy - and it does sound as if he has his bread buttered both sides, so I think you really need to think about what is best for you and your kids. Seems like you have some tough decisions to make: but should your kids go without so that he can continue coming to stay for a few nights?

sebastianj

You can keep a tenant, charge him B&B or something, declare it to the tax man. You will still be much better off. Take advice on this though from CAB.
There are a lot of other single mums in similar situation, Just because there is a temporary relationship, does not mean that you are now partners. If he is not registered at the Electrol register at your address then he may not be classed as a resident.
The other option here, Honesty is the key, you can tell the DWP all the facts and that you dont know where the relationship is going, and let them decide.
good luck
seb

mrs_angry

I was in a similar situation 17 years ago, one kid, and on income support, then i met a boyfriend, who on occasion stayed at our house, he didn't pay any money to me or keep my son but.......i then had to make a decision, did he love me and my son enough to provide for us? and i bit the bullet and he moved in and provided for us, that was then, now we are married and have 4 kids!

I would say if you want to be independent financially, but you really love this man, sort out the finances and speak to him about your concerns,IE: who is responsible for who's debts,and make it clear that he wont be able to stay with you unless he is willing to pay his way, or decide that your relationship is very casual and thats the way you want it.

i know you have been claiming as a couple, and i hear your worries but i think you need to decide if this man is the man for you!

And to the post that said why should he pay for children that are not his, this is what my husband did, anyone can father a child, but it takes a special man to be a dad!

i hope it all works out for you, you know in your heart whats right, good luck

BARGAINHUNTER!

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I earn a little more than the above figure and I was able to purchase a house on my own last year bought for just under £120k. There are schemes available to help.

Lenders are very wary now of lending to people who might struggle in the future with the repayments. On a salary of £7k a year (depending on how much you want to borrow) a large percentage of your monthly pay would be taken up with mortgage payments.