How to help an overeating partner?

Bromley86

The bottom line is that he needs to accept responsibility for himself. If he's not going to the doctors for a "proper" medical condition, no way are you going to get him to control his food intake. So the food is not the problem, it's a symptom.

You have a number of options available. You can leave him. You can carry on as is. You can try to encourage him to see the error of his ways. You can actively force him to face it (whilst supporting him - be aware that this may be the end of you as a couple). [For completeness, you can scream at him, but that's not a good one].

Personally, I tend towards the force approach and my wife, who's a much better people person than me, goes for the encourage one. She's wrong though .

Good luck.

IANA[in any way qualified person]

calleyw

Sorry but he is an adult and you can't make him do what you think is best for him.

I have bad relationship with food and often over eat and binge and can eat a packet of biscuits after eating my main evening meal. And my husband knows what he would get he started telling me that I must stop eating so much.

If someone tells me what to do I will almost always do the opposite of it.

It is with like all relationships it is give an take. And if he eats before his evening meal and still eat his evening meal then just leave it don't make an issue out of it.

Serve healthy options and if you serve smaller portions don't let him see it. I feel that I am short changed if I get a small portion :rotfl:I know what I should and should not eat. And I suspect your OH knows what is good for him as well.

If there is nothing in the house to eat I have been known to go and get something to binge on. That is why I don't keep stuff in the house as I just eat for the sake of it. But if it is late I am not going to do a 14 mile round trip to go to the local 24 hour store to get my binge.

I wonder if he has issues about self esteem. I know I do and that is a lot of time why I eat and yes I am over weight. I have had a very couple of stressful years. My husband having a stroke and nearly dying then him coming out of hospital and having to care for him. And loosing both my grandparents in less than a year. That is why I have gained just over an extra stone in weight in the last year. Under stress I go one of two ways. One is to binge the other is starve. Shame I always seem to binge.

Until your OH sees it as a problem just like smokers there is nothing you can do about it. I know you want to help him but until he is ready there is not much you can do.

All the best.

Yours

Calley

emweaver

Ive also experienced this and its because i was depressed. For me it was more of a pshycological issue, I felt the only thing I could control and enjoy was eating so I ate. It was also for comfort. I agree theres nothing you can do to stop him other than to find out why hes overeating and try to overcome the problem thats causing him to overeat.

Im on treatment for my depression and still occasionally overeat and yes im overweight. The doctor keeps pressuring me to loose weight and understands why I occasionally overeat but doesnt sympathise with me

feelinggood_2

Also, you could gently mention Overeaters Anonymous to him:
http://www.oagb.org.uk/

It might help to just tell him they are there if he ever does want some help, or to talk to someone else who knows what he is going through.

I wouldn't push the issue, it takes a long, long time to be 'ready' to recover from compulsive overeating.

I managed 7 months of absitence from compulsive overeating with some help from OA, and it was very hard work. It isn't working at the moment, but I'm hoping.

Also, have you considered CoDA to help with your Co-dependency issues?
http://www.coda-uk.org/