Kids fighting

Paparika

It sounds like they should be having separate bedrooms as they grow older and need 'personal space'

jay11_2

Sallylizzie wrote: »

I know what you mean. Sometimes it just all seems like too much hard work on top of everything else, but like you say it'll be better for us all in the long term.
To be fair to the eggs I can be pretty inconsistant depending on how tired I am and how high my stress levels are. I can be the 2 extremes of myself, too soft or too stict. That is probably half the problem. It's just really hard doing it all the time lol.
I don't want to sound like i'm saying poor me, because I'm not. I see women who have it alot tougher than me for a variety of reasons. Butbeing a mum is bloody hard work ,whether you're doing it alone or not. The rules are pretty hard to follow lol.:D

SL x

Aaw Sallylizzie, don't be so hard on yourself, you're tired and had a bad day, you'll feel better tomorrow. In an ideal world we'd all be perfect parents, but I for 1 live here, today, where muddling along, doing my best, trying but not always managing to be consistent is the reality, and my kids have survived. They're now lovely, kind, mostly polite teenagers who generally get on well and look out for each other.

Kids need love, nurture, and reasonable boundaries as often as you can manage. Occasional grumpiness and inconsistency from you is a reality of life and honestly won't damage them.

Rant away here too, or PM or whatever, good luck, Jay

RoxieW

Hi Sallylizzie
My youngest used to try to interrupt when I was having time with older child. But I was always strict and said he's had his quality time, not it cobys turn and he needs to go watch cartoons or whatever. He got the message and they both enjoy their quality time and know not to interrupt the other. Its easier if you're 'doing' something with them ie reading to them, doing an activity book or a game then say to the other that they need to concentrate so to leave them be. Give the other child something to do ie their favourite cartoon to keep them engrossed for 20 mins or so!
I think consistency is the key.
xxx

miss_corerupted

i don't think it's a problem really me and my brother used to try and kill each other, i would push out of trees, down stairs and stuff, we used to have seperate mealtimes from each other. But know we are older and not living together we get on much better
All kids fight just ignore them and they will wear themselves out

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the replies again.:D

I can't multi quote as I've said before so bare with me.

Paparika: Seperate rooms would be nice, but just not an option at all.:sad:

Jay11. I know you're right i had a hell of a day yesterday and to be honest its been a 100 times better today, for a change. Sometimes when its bad its just really bad, you can't remember the good.

RoxieW. I need to be more stricter when they interrupt. Maybe suggest taking the time they interupt off their time. What do you think. Or is that a bit harsh.

miss_corrupted. I've done that to my two, made them eat seperate, cos they argue over who's sitting closest to me. I also make them brush teeth and get dressed at different times due to the arguements.

My day can be VERY stressful at times.

SL x

pariskate

Can I suggest a book? - 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. It really is very good and very effective. I started enjoying my kids after I had put into practice his ideas.

[Deleted User]

pariskate wrote: »

Can I suggest a book? - 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. It really is very good and very effective. I started enjoying my kids after I had put into practice his ideas.

Thanks for hte suggestion. What does the book focus on? or is it just children in general. I like that you say you started enjoying your children after putting its ideas into practice. Because thats how I feel. I don't enjoy my kids anymore at the moment and I really want to start to again.

SL x

jay11_2

Hi Sally, glad you had a good day hun. Loads of good advice on here too, I'd just add that you should trust your instincts (though make allowances for when you/they're extra tired etc). By that I mean if you're finding their behaviour particularly irritating or upsetting, be that interrupting, bickering, pestering, whatever, then that's time to put your foot down.

You can bet your bottom dollar that if you're irritated then so is their sibling, and the behaviour has gone past reasonably acceptable.

Glad you had a better day--it does get better (they might even leave home one day:D )

Jay xx

RoxieW

Hi sally - I wouldnt 'dock' their quality time. Really you shouldn't need to. Their favourite cartoon and perhaps a little treat (ideally something that takes a while to eat such as raisins, a fruit salad or a packet of choc buttons) for being good during their quality time should do it. If they do persist then they have to sit in their room. They'll soon realise which they prefer! Just be consistent and you will get there.

vaio

jay11 wrote: »

With mine I insist on silence, leading to time out, if we're out and they bicker. I've also been known to whisk them home early from outings. Zero tolerance is best once they get to the stage yours are at with bickering--'if you can't play nicely, you can't be together'.

It doesn't matter if time out in their rooms isn't seen as a 'punishment', the point here is that their behaviour is past the point of being tolerable for you and others around them, so you, as the adult have to take charge and stop the cycle of together-play-fight.

If at home just separate them--in bedrooms/opposite ends of sitting room/one with you the other somewhere else, whatever works. They, as children, can't make that step without help.

Worked for mine, anyway.

Good luck, Jay

Spot on and be religiously consistent