Smiales Diary

smiales

Scarlett.1974 wrote: »

Good lord above...... you have had such an awful time of it, I don't know what to say. I would like to offer you a (useless I know) but heartfelt <<hug>>. I really hope court goes well for you on Thursday and I for one will be keeping everything crossed for you.

Be brave, be strong and you WILL get through this

Take care of yourself,
Scarlett xxx

I feel like an attention seeker now! Yeah its been rough, the good thing about writing it down is that now I realise that we aren't just pathetic whingers who can't cope with things - the stuff thats happened has been flippin hard to deal with. Maybe we are to hard on ourselves. Feel weak for not being able to cope with it. Even though 2/3 years on we are still coping so we can't be too pathetic can we!

Everyone is being very supportive, needed some other peoples perspective on the situation. Reading my own post has made me see that yes we are still going through it but actually this is the best its been for a while! How scary is that!

Scarlett.1974

smiales wrote: »

I feel like an attention seeker now! Yeah its been rough, the good thing about writing it down is that now I realise that we aren't just pathetic whingers who can't cope with things - the stuff thats happened has been flippin hard to deal with. Maybe we are to hard on ourselves. Feel weak for not being able to cope with it. Even though 2/3 years on we are still coping so we can't be too pathetic can we!

Everyone is being very supportive, needed some other peoples perspective on the situation. Reading my own post has made me see that yes we are still going through it but actually this is the best its been for a while! How scary is that!

Right listen to me <stern face>. You are NOT attention seeking and you are certainly NOT weak. God, if I'd been through what you've been through I'd be a quivering wreck

smiales

I am one of those a lot of the time!

Richard_S

smiales wrote: »

Hi Rich,

No court is on Thursday so we still have a few days left to prepare. Any thoughts off hand that might be useful things to bring up with the judge? I can't think of anything, plan on just being honest and hoping that they take pity on us. Thought about getting on my hands and knees and begging but OH thought that was going too far! I'm still not convinced its not a good idea!

Hi Smiales,

I'll give that my undivided attention between now and Wed evening.

A couple of things that spring to mind, are make sure you know how to address the Judge; ask one of the ushers before you go in, and don't be afraid of letting your emotions show; tears and some controlled misery never seem to go amiss. I've been on both sides of the Court divide over the years, and ironically the only time I've ever lost was when a highly paid barrister was representing us.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Try and put yourself in the Judge's position and ask yourself what sort of things he/she's going to be looking for to accept your version of an acceptable budget as opposed to the O.R's version.

When it's your chance to speak, don't be hurried and blurt everything out in an incoherent diatribe. A summary of your first post on here would be a good background as to why things have been so difficult for you.

Emphasise that as a couple you've always worked hard, and it was only as a result of taking a risk in the property market that you found yourselves in financial difficulty.

Judges are a liberal minded lot; try and love the guy/gal as soon as you see him/her, and let your body language do the talking; let the Judge see how genuine and contrite you are, how hard you've tried, and how badly you've wanted to do the right thing.

Paint a picture in your mind between now and Thursday of how you'll look, how you'll sound, and the things you'll say, and then tailor it to the Judge on Thursday. I think over the last few months I've got to know you well enough to be confident that if you can relax and rise to the occasion, you'll beat some "jobsworth" from the I.S into a cocked hat.

Best regards

Rich

december

I just wanted to echo what others have said and to wish you all the best for Thursday.Will be keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed

december

Merry_Gentry

Sending best wishes for Thursday - do keep us informed

smiales

Richard_S wrote: »

Hi Smiales,

I'll give that my undivided attention between now and Wed evening.

A couple of things that spring to mind, are make sure you know how to address the Judge; ask one of the ushers before you go in, and don't be afraid of letting your emotions show; tears and some controlled misery never seem to go amiss. I've been on both sides of the Court divide over the years, and ironically the only time I've ever lost was when a highly paid barrister was representing us.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself and also write down some things, so far i have gone through our SOA and written down reasoning behind every cost, have also compiled actual evidence such as bills etc to back up the costs. Only ones I am struggling with are Housekeeping and house maintenance. Not sure what to provide there, thats why I wanted the official stats - still can't understand it by the way!

Try and put yourself in the Judge's position and ask yourself what sort of things he/she's going to be looking for to accept your version of an acceptable budget as opposed to the O.R's version.

I'm trying, its so hard to know what they will be like on the day though. I've had some experience of the court situation (small claims, work related and BR) and have generally found that you need to be clear, concise, honest and polite. No point droning on as they just don't have time for it. In our case we have only been allowed 15 minutes each so I have no idea how that is going to be long enough.

When it's your chance to speak, don't be hurried and blurt everything out in an incoherent diatribe. A summary of your first post on here would be a good background as to why things have been so difficult for you.

Emphasise that as a couple you've always worked hard, and it was only as a result of taking a risk in the property market that you found yourselves in financial difficulty.

Do you reckon I will have the chance to give background details? I hope so, although I would be very nervous having to do it. Don't find it that easy to talk about personal things face to face. I don't want to come across like I'm making excuses. However, I would like the judge to have a full picture of the situation to understand we aren't 'bad people' so to speak.

Judges are a liberal minded lot; try and love the guy/gal as soon as you see him/her, and let your body language do the talking; let the Judge see how genuine and contrite you are, how hard you've tried, and how badly you've wanted to do the right thing.

Hopefully if we have time to make our points they will realise this. Again though it really depends on the Judge of the day doesn't it? I mean if he gets out of bed the wrong side then it could go any way couldn't it?!

Paint a picture in your mind between now and Thursday of how you'll look, how you'll sound, and the things you'll say, and then tailor it to the Judge on Thursday. I think over the last few months I've got to know you well enough to be confident that if you can relax and rise to the occasion, you'll beat some "jobsworth" from the I.S into a cocked hat.

The picture I have is of a quivering wreck that says all the wrong things! No I must stop that image, I need to be a combination of confident yet sorry, emotional yet controlled, intelligent yet naive..... Not sure I can pull it off! One thing I will struggle with is being careful not to let on that we are fairly clued up on things due to everyone on these forums. I don't want the Judge to think "well they must have known what they were doing" if that makes sense.

Best regards

Rich

One other thing, the worry I have been having has been about us being given a BRO/U. But I'm a little confused because after reading up on this it seems that we have to been given the opportunity by the OR to agree to the BRO and if we don't then they have to notify us that they are taking us to court for a BRU. So seeing as that hasn't happened, its all about the IPA does that mean that a BRO can't be placed on us on Thursday?

See it never ends with me, I always have a few questions up my sleeve!

smiales

Jesus, it never ends does it, found out in the post that we are a month in arrears with our mortgage! Can't believe it, I keep a good eye on it or so I thought. Rang mortgage company and they explained that the last time I rang to check all was ok with account I was up to date but 2 days later that months payment was rejected by the bank and was therefore not paid. This was back in Dec! I said that i just can't believe that we didn't notice we were £700 better off, girl was lovely on the phone, explained that the only thing I can think is that it was the time that we were changing banks and it looks like Natwest must have swallowed whatever balance was left in the account with them. Must have assumed it was paid and didn't look back into the old account once we opened co-op as we thought it was empty.
This sounds very vaugue but I just can't remember that month. Checked with Natwest and there was no balance in the closed acc so I really am clueless about effectively 'missing' £700. How is that even possible.
Anyway the upshot is that we now have arrears that need to be paid, extra £150pm. Can I put this on our SOA for court? Have the letter from mortgage company as proof. This is going to look great isn't it. The judge is going to question where that mortgage money went - my answer - no idea. Maybe Natwest kept it as we were BR, can they do this? I am clueless and stressed.

blind-as-a-bat_2

smiales wrote: »

Jesus, it never ends does it, found out in the post that we are a month in arrears with our mortgage! Can't believe it, I keep a good eye on it or so I thought. Rang mortgage company and they explained that the last time I rang to check all was ok with account I was up to date but 2 days later that months payment was rejected by the bank and was therefore not paid. This was back in Dec! I said that i just can't believe that we didn't notice we were £700 better off, girl was lovely on the phone, explained that the only thing I can think is that it was the time that we were changing banks and it looks like Natwest must have swallowed whatever balance was left in the account with them. Must have assumed it was paid and didn't look back into the old account once we opened co-op as we thought it was empty.
This sounds very vaugue but I just can't remember that month. Checked with Natwest and there was no balance in the closed acc so I really am clueless about effectively 'missing' £700. How is that even possible.
Anyway the upshot is that we now have arrears that need to be paid, extra £150pm. Can I put this on our SOA for court? Have the letter from mortgage company as proof. This is going to look great isn't it. The judge is going to question where that mortgage money went - my answer - no idea. Maybe Natwest kept it as we were BR, can they do this? I am clueless and stressed.

It would be great if you could get a statemant from nat west showing they took it....perfect example of a victom of circumstance for the judge so might make you look better than you think;)

blind-as-a-bat_2

smiales wrote: »

Maybe Natwest kept it as we were BR, can they do this?.

That would depend on when and why they took it, if they did, but i bet even if it was after your BR it will show on a statemant as before:rolleyes: