OK, here goes.....long post coming up

Miia

My name is Miia and this is the first time I have spoken to anyone about my debts.

Here is the background. You can skip this bit but the reason for writing this is to offload and hopefully someone who has the same situation as me and is lurking it will help them too and "come out" on this board and start on the road to recovery.

I am over £28K in debt. I live with my boyfriend who knows absolutely nothing about this. Poor guy think that the reason I am stressed to the max is because I have depression and chronic fatigue syndrome. The truth is that I am snippy and grumpy is because of the debt.

All my life I have been totally idiotic with money and not able to manage at all. In the ten years me and OH have been together he has bailed me out twice with debt but not to this scale. The last time it happened was three years ago with £10K and with the threat of however much he loved me he wouldn't bail me out again and we would split up. This would mean me having to find somewhere to live. This is the reason I have kept quiet and appeared depressed because it would be terrible and I can't deal with the criticism and judgement from him. He is Mr Sensible with money and always has been and thinks for the future. Obviously, I am not this person (at the moment).

This debt got racked up due to being completely disorganised, not managing money or planning for the future and in such a short time. Even when I knew things were bad I just kept spending and though F*** it - sort it out another day.

Last week it came to a head when I missed a couple of CC payments and they have phoned with the added stress of having squat all in my bank accounts to spend.

This week has been a cathartic experience of lurking on this board, taking in information, working out exactly what I owe and how I am going to take steps to sort it out.

Here is my SoA:

Monthly Budget Summary

Amount(£)

Total monthly income

2,350

Monthly expenses (incl. secured loans)

1,675.65

Available for debt repayments

674.35

UNsecured debt repayments

209.5

Surplus

464.85

Personal Balance Sheet Summary

Amount(£)

Total Assets (things you own)

24,500

Total Secured Debt

-0

Total Unsecured Debt

-28,514.01

Personal net worth

-4,014.01

Comments on the results
You have sufficient monthly income to meet your expenses and your minimum monthly debt repayments with £464.85 left over. You can use this to pay off your debts more quickly or to build/top-up an emergency fund. Whatever your results show, it always pays to seek advice or comments from others. Why not post your SOA details on our Debt Management discussion board or on your preferred discussion forum elsewhere. Thankyou for using the SOA Calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
Income, Expense, Debt & Asset Details

Income

Amount(£)

Monthly income after tax

2350

Partners monthly income

0

Benefits

0

Other income

0

Total monthly income

2350

Expenses

Amount(£)

Mortgage

0

Secured loan payments

0

Rent

0

Management charge (leasehold flats)

0

Council tax

210

Electricity

74

Gas

86

Oil

0

Water Rates

32

Telephone (land line)

100

Mobile phone

25

TV Licence

12

Satellite/Cable TV

65

Internet services

20

Groceries etc.

220

Clothing

10

Petrol/diesel

100

Road tax

10

Car Insurance

77

Car maintenenance (including MOT)

10

Car Parking

0

Other travel

0

Childcare/nursery

0

Other child related expenses

0

Medical (prescriptions, dentists, opticians etc.)

0

Pet Insurance/Vet bills

23.5

Buildings Insurance

0

Contents Insurance

0

Life Assurance

19.9

Other Insurance

9.75

Presents (birthday, christmas etc.)

50

Haircuts

0

Entertainment

400

Holiday

0

Emergency Fund

0

Wine Club

55

Which

7.75

Gym

29

British Gas Plumbing and Heating

29.75

Total monthly expenses

1675.65

Secured Debt Description

Debt(£)

Monthly(£)

APR(%)

Mortgage

0

(0)

0

Secured Debt totals

0

-

-

Unsecured Debt Description

Debt(£)

Monthly(£)

APR(%)

Overdraft

3000

0

9.9

Overdraft

400

0

9.9

Overdraft

2000

0

18.9

Barclaycard

1462.19

0

14.9

MBNA

7183.1

0

15.9

Golfish

4499.06

0

14.9

AA Account

1389.35

0

15.9

CC Credit Card

1630

0

17.9

LTSB loa

6950.31

209.5

0

Unsecured Debt totals

28514.01

209.5

-

OH pays the mortgage and I pay all the bills.

The very good news is that I do have surplus based on this first passe of my budget.

I have taken steps this week to change the electricity and gas to a much lower payment so I am just waiting for the new amounts to be advised.

In addition to this I have cashed in my £200 premium bonds that did faff all for two years - this will help with an overdraft and the amount of money is being paid directly to the account.

I have also stopped the ironing lady at £50/month. She wasn't happy but boo hoo to her.

I have also cancelled charity donations of over £100/year. I need to sort out my own charity at home.

Magazine subscription of £40/year has been stopped.

The Wine Club is going to be cancelled. We have enough wine and I need to cut down anyway.

The mobile phone charge is going of £25/month. I've managed to convince the company that I work for that they should pay for my phone seeing as they pay for everyone elses

Currently my food budget is £220/month. This has been halved and quite rightly seeing as I throw most of it out anyway.

I can't cancel the Satellite due to the OH - I need to keep some sense of "normality".

I have put in a ridiculous amount for Entertainment. This will be cut but I need to sit down and work out the fags, going out. I know I can reduce this.

Thank you for reading if you got this far and haven't fallen asleep!

Writing this has been fantastic and a relief. None of my friends or relatives know of this and I will probably keep it that way. I can't be dealing with judgment when I know what a numpty I have been.

If I don't respond it will be because I will be a 9-5 sort of gal on here (unless OH is out for the evening)

Miia

sammy115

Hi

Welcome to the club and well done for posting. Brave move. My OH doesn't know about my debt and never will. That is up to you to decide.

You have already posted your SOA and you have taken the right moves to cut the spending (£50 per month on ironing:eek: ) just had to get that one out of the way.

Next step is to keep a spending diary. I have over the last few years come to realise that my spending is very much attached to my mood. You must keep a diary of what you spend.......Also go to the snowball calculator and see if the surplus that you have can be utilised better...

Good luck Sammy

kacie

hi and welcome, well done on posting here and realising what you need to cut down on. One thing that stands out for me is your telephone bill, is there any way you could cut this down - any extras that you could get rid of.

Miia

sammy115 wrote: »

(£50 per month on ironing:eek: ) just had to get that one out of the way.

:rotfl: Yes, flipping ridiculous isn't it! Thing is I don't even mind ironing!

Thank you for the welcome and no, OH won't know about this.

Miia

kacie wrote: »

hi and welcome, well done on posting here and realising what you need to cut down on. One thing that stands out for me is your telephone bill, is there any way you could cut this down - any extras that you could get rid of.

Thanks

Ah, yes, the telephone bill. OH works at home (we work for the same company), so I can claim the calls. This will certainly be coming down in cost as I have changed back to BT and then I shave the costs down again in a years time.

Miia

OK, I need to go home now but thank you everyone. I feel I can sleep a bit tonight now.

See you all tomorrow:A

CLAPTON

you don't seem to have included any CC repayments ... they must come to something around 400-600 per month

mummum2

Just wanted to send you hugs :A I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon of 'tell your OH' I think one knows their other half better than anyone else and only you know your own reason(s) why you do not want to tell him, hopefully as the debt goes down you might find it easier to tell him.

My own advice for stress is jogging, have you thought of taking this up also power walking (to start, and it's free). I find by jogging (been doing this almost a year now), that I 'm less snappy, even able to sleep better with my debts.

Good luck and keep posting, some of the more knowledgeable people will be along to give advice on your E&I.

MM2xx

mountainofdebt

All I can give you is a virtual hug at the mo....I'm currently dealing with the fallout that has happened since hubby found out the extent of our debt...do I wish I had told him earlier - yes, did I do it out of spite, no but I doubt he saw it like that.

Can I say that last night I told my mum the extent of the debt problem and far from judging me, she was an absolute brick. From the woman who hasn't got much she took £20 of out her purse and insisted that I took it. Haven't spent it and will give it her back but as I said to her last night, the best thing she has given me is her support to help sort out the ruddy mess that we've got ourselves in.

The other thing I would say is speak to the credit card companies....I guess every other phone call they must get these days is someone admitting they are in trouble. They might be able to help you and give you a little breathing space which you can use to sort out your finances.

CLAPTON

in your SOA you say you have 24k worth of assetts... what is their nature?

Miia

CLAPTON wrote: »

in your SOA you say you have 24k worth of assetts... what is their nature?

A car and some jewellery. Both were bought for me and I can't sell them really.