3 queries re baby and 2 and half year old

Mips

Anthillmob wrote: »

chops has been telling random children to go away for ages now. shes very protective of bubba. 'no my bubba' she says and then smothers the poor wee man giving him a protective cuddle. not easy when walking round sainsburys or down the road. :rotfl:

:rotfl:

You gotta watch them! I turned around from the PC to see my son underneath a Red cushion with my daughter holding it down! :eek:

Thing is, she sounds like she loves her Bubba

My 2 yr old is a Monster to me and her Brothers.. but a little Angel with other children.. well... most of the time!

Anthillmob

she absolutely adores him which is a good thing. when he first arrived we had 2 instances oif jealousy, one of which [the last one] was a 3 hour screaming hissy fit where she threw her wellies at him and snatched his bottle as i was feeding him. im sure she got it out of her system that evening. after 3 hours non stop paddy she suddenly stopped and went back to her normal happy self. it was really odd.

we have always included her in changing himetc and now she dont even bother with that, think the novelty has worn off. but i always tell her when hes watching her and how much he loves her etc and she dont even moan if he grabs and pulls her hair. its a thing babies do i tell her. and quite often she will just go up to him and give him a huge big kiss for no reason.

however she wont accept what adults do and tell her lol.

Bexstars

Hiya

my 2 year old is doing exactally the same, it seems all of a sudden she has become a little maddam that wont listern to a thing you say to her and demands various things all the time which is really frustrating! We have just started to use the naughty chair with her as we have never needed it before and this does seem to be working. Were going with the ignoring the behaviour route, as hard as it is, im hoping things will improve soon as we have a little man due in August. She likes to tell all the other kids who are being noisy in supermarkets to "stop shouting" lol

rosies_mum

Being a parent can be the best and the hardest job in the world all rolled into one at times! My dd who is now 3 also used to be a little monkey during her terrible twos! I also used to turn my back or walk away from her and used the naughty step. Its hard but if you say no to something, you need to be tough and follow it through. I also found that eventually I got used to the "signs" which meant a full blown tantrum was on its way and used distraction techniques to head them off! Often it was if she was getting tired, was bored or hadn't had a snack or drink for awhile. Even now I still find myself suddenly getting all excited and shouting things like " did you see that pink bird just fly past?" in the middle of Tescos and getting strange looks (not just from dd!).

Is there a play park near you? My dd loves going to ours and will happily run around with the other kids. That way you don't have to feel guilty that you can't chase after her? I often found though that it could be a trigger when I wanted to leave - I soon learnt an offer of a snack (healthy one!) in her pram was enough to get her home (don't underestimate the benefits of bribery!). However there were also times she would scream all the way home! It doesn't last for ever, we soon found that the trantrums would lessen in frequency. Stick to you guns, and best of luck, its for their own good in the end (and yours!)!

ailuro2

We always gave my DD a choice- normally the easy way or the hard way.:p

If she wanted something to eat and it was outwith mealtimes then she could either wait until teatime and have a bit more food then because she felt hungry, or she could have a healthy snack to keep her going until teatime. She would not be given crisps or chocolate in between (bad habit, and is worse for their teeth)
Most of the time she was just mooching for a treat, was not hungry at all.
She still does this now, fancies some sweets, says she's hungry, but then refuses a banana.:rotfl:

Same goes for behaviour - she could either stop the tantrum and we'd carry on doing what we had been doing, or she could get carried back to the car over my shoulder and taken home.

We started early, she knew who was in charge, which helps them work out their boundaries and so feel more secure.

We still tell her there is always a choice, give her the options,and she still gets to decide. Sometimes she chooses the hard way of doing something, but it's all learning still, even though she's 9 now.

traciekan

i should think your techniques are more likely to be the problem rather than the nurseries. threatening a child and the naughty step dont work with one so young. she needs to see nice behaviour in order to learn it!! talk to her repeat things slowly and encourage her. she is probably completely out of sorts with a new baby and needs the reassurance and calmness she deserves.

Anthillmob

traciekan wrote: »

i should think your techniques are more likely to be the problem rather than the nurseries. threatening a child and the naughty step dont work with one so young. she needs to see nice behaviour in order to learn it!! talk to her repeat things slowly and encourage her. she is probably completely out of sorts with a new baby and needs the reassurance and calmness she deserves.

thats a bit harsh but ill thank you anyway as i dont think you meant it as harsh as it sounds.

she has the love and security she had long before bubba came along, she has been involved from day one with him. she adores him and he adores her.


threats of the naughty chair are not threats if the bad behaviour continues. she is placed on the chair. before i used to just threaten the naughty chair 'right last chance' kind of thing. no chances now. a tip from here. dont threaten to do something, do it. she knows she is there and will stay put. for 2 mins [or a further 2 mins, one for each of her age, if the paddy continues until she stops ]and then we have a chat at her level and i explain why she has been sat there, does she understand why, ask her to apologise, she says sorry and then we have a hug and a kiss.

the only threat is the naughty chair or sometimes toys in the bin. you did make it sound as if im threatening her in other ways.

maybe im doing this wrong but this is based on tips from other parents on MSE. and it does work.

she sees nice behaviour constantly. i only raise my voice if she is in danger [which is very rare as i ensure there is no danger around] or being naughty. she has to learn. im not !!!!!footing around her, that makes for a spoilt and badly behaved child IMHO.

brummiebabe

Regarding you 5 month old (sorry, I don't know what you've already posted) - what sort of wheezing problems is he having? My two DSs both were described as 'happy wheezers' as they would sound terrible, but not really be bothered by it!!! They grew out of it somewhat, although still have inhalers sporadically now (they're 7 & 5)

As for your 2 year old - it all sounds very normal!! I know that doesn't help but from what you've said- you're doing all the right things!!! My DD is 19 months old & I can see already that she's going to be a 'challenge!!.'

Also don't feel guilty about your DD playing on her own - my 1st son was the only one who got our full attention, was played with all the time etc - & he's the one who still wants someone in the garden with him, someone to direct his play!! The other 2 have been left to their own devices much more - & play much better!!!!!:D

Keep your chin up - it's REALLY hard work being a parent - & everyone finds it hard (don't believe those that say otherwise;) )

Anthillmob

hiw=s wheezing started with a cold that chops brought home from nursery. as i was always up the doctors with chops because she was very chesty everytime she got a cold as a baby i ignored it and didnt want to appear as a neurotic mother this time round. it never got any better. i only went to the docs after a month but in that short space of time he got rid of one cold and got another which i got and i still have my cough from it.

anyway, basically he sounds like he's purring all the time. must admit i have noticed a difference today after using the inhaler as directed by a&e and the nice lady from the kids hospital who came to my home and helped me devise a way to administer it given i have limited use of my hands. he now sounds very wheezy AFTER the inhaler but not so much a while after. hopefully this will sort him out.

but hes never bothered [apart from having the inhaler]. he is such a happy little man. chops was an extremely happy and pleasant baby so to have 2 we are very blessed.

brummiebabe

Yes the inhalers are great - take a little while before you notice the effect, but make them sound a whole lot better!! Both my DSs would get very wheezy with a cold & my oldest would develop an awful nighttime cough!! As I said though, they're much better now. My DS1 still uses the preventative inhaler every night, although hasn't been wheezy for a few years! He does, however, have mild asthma so needs it. DS2 occasionally uses it if he has a cold - but doesn't really get wheezy!

If the Doctors aren't TOO concerned then try not to worry (easier said than done!);)