How Cheap can a Funeral Be !

lesley1960

I had always said i wouldnt want a funeral and believed that those who did should have as cheap a funereal as possible , However my MIL died 2 weeks ago and when it came to arranging her funereal we wanted to have the best we could ( she had money in the bank , but in all honesty even if she hadnt we still would have ) and we wanted as many flowers as we could , it was comforting to think that we had done our best for her .

( the poster who wanted a cardboard coffin for his/her mum and was refused ,,,,,,,,,,,,after death , bodies leak sorry not a pleasant thought I know )

Aeshna

What an interesting thread, thank you OP. I particularly love the idea of the woodland burials, that appeals to me no end. I got into a conversation with my mum (in perfectly good health thankfully) about it and she said, why on earth are you thinking about this?? Lol, I reassured here I wasn't about to pop my clogs or wish it on any of our nearest and dearest.

Re the cardboard coffins - the meandering I've been doing via google is suggesting that they have a plastic lining in them to avoid leaking body fluids. These are usually removable upon request for eco purposes, where it's appropriate to do so.

Aeshna x

tori.k

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

My parents are 87 and 90, so obviously these things get discussed occasionally. I have no problem in paying for the best send-off they deserve, but what does slightly give me pause for thought is that as they both want to be cremated, what is the point of spending hundreds on a fancy coffin, only to see it go up in smoke?

It's such a waste of nature's resources, and the craftsmanship that goes into them. Somehow if they were being buried I wouldn't give it a thought.

Not sure of the best way to approach the matter of a cardboard coffin .

To lighten the atmosphere (?), when I was mistakenly (thank goodness) diagnosed with cancer, having been rushed into hospital with what turned out to be operable, my husband was talking to me about where I'd be buried (next to his mum so he could tend the graves at the same time ), I said he must arrange a wake at the pub, with food etc. as people might have travelled and would be expecting it. He said beggar that, he wasn't going to bother, and I got really upset. More upset than I was about the prospect of dying, actually. :cool:

we went to a natural service where they used a willow coffin everybody that attended was given a rose that we weaved thru the coffin it was truly beautiful, no-one was allowed to wear black she wanted everyone to remember her life not her passing,
she had organized it herself as she had Cancer and with doing away with the church, car's etc it didnt come to as much as it would have if her children had planned it, she wanted full control, even making her own order of services, she never felt sorry for herself, she was so brave and said she appreicated she had the time to put her affairs in order and spend time with those she loved, she was 61 when she died at home where she wanted

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

tori.k wrote: »

we went to a natural service where they used a willow coffin everybody that attended was given a rose that we weaved thru the coffin it was truly beautiful, no-one was allowed to wear black she wanted everyone to remember her life not her passing,
she had organized it herself as she had Cancer and with doing away with the church, car's etc it didnt come to as much as it would have if her children had planned it, she wanted full control, even making her own order of services, she never felt sorry for herself, she was so brave and said she appreicated she had the time to put her affairs in order and spend time with those she loved, she was 61 when she died at home where she wanted

What a lovely way to have a funeral.
I love the wicker coffins myself as you can get some lovely designs and they don't look so austere as ordinary coffins.
I've decided that's what me and my OH are having.
He hates anything wicker but I told him not to worry as he'll be dead so he'll be past caring:rotfl:.
He was proper put out by it.

Filey

Two weeks before his 18th birthday my son was killed in an accident. Not having any previous experience of deaths and funerals, and living in a village, we did the expected thing and had a funeral service in the village church and a burial in the churchyard. The local undertakers/joiners/builders were very thoughtful and helpful. We had him buried in the churchyard with a headstone on his grave in local stone because this is how it was done. This was a lot of years ago and since then I have seen to the deaths of my elderly parents and am now more familiar with the requirements of death.

It seems to me that in our society, our culture today, we are frightened of the words 'death' and 'dead'. "Passed over' , 'gone before', 'passed away', 'gone to heaven', 'with the angels', anything but dead and died. But you can't have life without death. A century ago death was part of life.

I could be classed as healthy and fittish elderly. But I know that eventually I will die. i want to make it easier for my children to deal with my death. Knowledge is power and now that I know the alternatives for after death I won't be restricted to the usual church service, churchyard burial that I did for my son because then i didn't know the alternatives.

But now all those of us who are reading this on their computer have the internet at their disposal and can find out all the different possibilites, prices, alternatives for the disposal of the dead bodies of their nearest and dearest.

I wish I had known then what I know, or can find out, now.

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

Filey wrote: »

Two weeks before his 18th birthday my son was killed in an accident. Not having any previous experience of deaths and funerals, and living in a village, we did the expected thing and had a funeral service in the village church and a burial in the churchyard. The local undertakers/joiners/builders were very thoughtful and helpful. We had him buried in the churchyard with a headstone on his grave in local stone because this is how it was done. This was a lot of years ago and since then I have seen to the deaths of my elderly parents and am now more familiar with the requirements of death.

It seems to me that in our society, our culture today, we are frightened of the words 'death' and 'dead'. "Passed over' , 'gone before', 'passed away', 'gone to heaven', 'with the angels', anything but dead and died. But you can't have life without death. A century ago death was part of life.

I could be classed as healthy and fittish elderly. But I know that eventually I will die. i want to make it easier for my children to deal with my death. Knowledge is power and now that I know the alternatives for after death I won't be restricted to the usual church service, churchyard burial that I did for my son because then i didn't know the alternatives.

But now all those of us who are reading this on their computer have the internet at their disposal and can find out all the different possibilites, prices, alternatives for the disposal of the dead bodies of their nearest and dearest.

I wish I had known then what I know, or can find out, now.

So sorry about your son,that's very sad.
I have to agree with you about our society having a problem with death.
I myself find it strange that's the case since the only thing we can be sure of is that one day we'll all die.
It's not a pleasant thought,I agree but I think it's something we should all explore a little more fully.
When I was young,bodies were washed and layed out by the family and lay coffined at home for days.My own grandfather spent three days in his coffin in the living room.It was comforting realy,having those final few days.It also made the reality of it all more acceptable,unlike today where every detail is looked after by the funeral director and bodies are viewed at the funeral parlour.It was at that time that I realised,even though I was only six that we were lumps of meat,nothing more.Grandad had gone,he did'nt look or smell like grandad and what was left was not grandad.
My grandmother did me a favour at that time by teaching me one of the harsh realities of life and although it does'nt make the sadness any less it has helped me over the years to understand,help and cope.
I think planning your own funeral is one of the most comforting things you can do and I agree with you when you say knowledge is power.
Thank god for the internet that's all I can say.

teresaevans_2

You are actually able to by law, collect a deceased person in your own suitable vehicle and casket.

teresaevans_2

Be mindful of the Common Lae where it is considered a criminal offence to commit an indignity on a dead body

teresaevans_2

please check out my thread on funerals - rights of the bereaved

lollyhith

My father died in March and I was his only relative it was left to me to make arrangements and he left me no guidance. Because I was so upset I was easily intimidated and even the local vicar put pressure on me!
I am very sorry to hear of your loss, I have learnt that money can be saved with the funeral director but they are not going to offer information on how to do it, its really a closed shop that no one discusses. A cardboard coffin was £170, and it really did look like cardboard. Get the number of the crematorium first and ask details as they specify the coffin - no metal hinges and the like. Ensure the transfer to and fro is by the funeral directors plain black van as the hearse is a lot extra, if you are having a church service, the vicar will want about £150, and extra for travelling to the crem afterwards but they wont tell you this even when asked. For a cremation you need two doctors signatures on the DC, if you ask the funeral directors to arrange this it will be a lot extra. Save money by not having the body in church but taken from the chapel of rest directly to the crem. Paper announcements are over £100. I am on benefits, but help with the funeral costs are still taken back from the estate and I couldnt go through with the hassle. Managed to get it down to £1700.
For everyone else out there reading this thread for tips please please get your relatives to make a will - it makes everything SO much more difficult without it, you will be surprised at how intestate estates are legally distributed, even if you live with someone for 30 years you will be entitled to nothing upon their death unless you are married.
And it cost me £800 to get my fathers 2 bed bungalow cleared by a house clearance company...if they are in council or HA accommodation they will give you 1 week to clear it. Oh joy!