When would you financially bed your partner? Poll Results/Discussion

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cazrobinson wrote: »

i think as a woman, you are very vulnerable if you rely on your hubby's income. Always, always keep you own account and keep saving for those unexpected events...

Why, are all men evil?

silverbullit

Dorrie wrote: »

Our marriage is a partnership - he earns the money and I spend it

It's precisely that sort of attitude- to which many women subscribe - that should encourage the keeping of separate accounts!

Badger_Lady

Marker wrote: »

Why, are all men evil?

Er - no, all men should be able to retain financial independence too. It's just statistically true that more women rely on their partner's income than vice versa.

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Badger_Lady wrote: »

Er - no, all men should be able to retain financial independence too. It's just statistically true that more women rely on their partner's income than vice versa.

The poster I was replying to said "as a woman, you are very vulnerable if you rely on your hubby's income" - doesnt say alot for a man does it, men arent here to do us over (well most of them anyway ). Women are more likely to be found looking after the kids, so i still see it as an equal footing!

If a husband and wife both have seperate accounts one could (really lame example but I hope you get what I mean) be able to shop in Gucci, the other in Primark, the kids in highstreet- hardly balenced and fair relationship??

But what works for one couple obviously wont work for another! I just wouldnt be able to understand it!

Badger_Lady

^ Well, you are vulnerable if you rely on your partner's income . Less vulnerable if you have your own money.

I don't understand how that equates to men "being evil" or "trying to do us over" :rotfl:

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Badger_Lady wrote: »

^ Well, you are vulnerable if you rely on your partner's income . Less vulnerable if you have your own money.

I don't understand how that equates to men "being evil" or "trying to do us over" :rotfl:

Because thats how it read to me

chickadee

I think that when two people make the commitment to move in together, then it is time to get a joint account. There is an implicit intention to share the responsibility of the house at that point, so there should be shared responsibility of the finances then as well. I wouldn't really expect both salaries to be paid in at that point though, just an equal portion of the household costs, in whatever proportion the couple decide between them.

When children come along, however, things change. I have known couples where hubby pays into joint for housekeeping and kids costs, leaving wife with little or none of her 'own' money and having to ask hubby for everything, whilst he swans about with expensive clothes and watch.

If you really know, love and respect each other, there should be no question about the value each contributes to the relationship.

Felstea

Basically if you're moving in together (married or not) then you should trust the other implicitly and that includes money. So much easier to have just one account to manage and we both know that the other will treat us with respect in all areas, including finance. If you can't trust somebody with your money then you really shouldn't be living with them.

MrShed

I wholly disagree - that point of view is just too black and white. At the point of moving in/getting married, the vast majority of people DO 100% trust their other half in this way. However, you just need to look at the divorce rate to see that this is not neccessarily long lasting. More importantly(and depressingly) you have no way of knowing when you marry, no matter how in love/certain you are at the time, whether it will end at some point in the future, nor how messy it will become at this point.

For this reason, I would vote J - I would never share my finances with another person. It is too idealistic to assume that your current relationship could not possibly end with messy results.

rachel_c_2008

We have a joint account for bills & food, and then we each have separate accounts to manage however we like in terms of day-to-day saving and spending. It's not about trust - just about practicality. We earn different amounts and spend money on different things. We're not planning to change the way it works when we get married in summer. (Besides - if all your money is joint, how can you buy each other amazing presents?!)