advice for bereaved teenager

cocoluvsmummy

My DD1s best friend has recently been bereaved but unfortunatly she can't talk to her parents about it, i am looking for any web sites i could give her that she might find of assistance.

A quickish summery of the situation is this DDs friend (lets call her sue) age 13 has quite controlling parents who are stong minded over what their daughter should/shouldnt do, now apprently sue has a had a BF for 9 months and has only just recently told her mates as he has moved away, her parents didnt know. Since he moved away she told him that it would be better if they no longer went out as it was impossible. Last weekend sue recieved a text off this boys mum telling sue that he had commited suicide by stabbing himself and had written sues name up his arm with the knife first. Now i don't know the whole storey and probably never will, but Sue is now traumatised and feels very guilty for it all (as she would)

Has anyone any advice on anywhere she can contact to get help, i have suggested school counsellor but she wont do this. i have promised not to say anything to her parents at the moment but if i felt sue was in any danger i would do so.

BTw if i could get my hands on the poor woman who has lost her son i would point out that laying this on the head of a 13 year old is terrible..how to mess with a poor girls mind.

littleredhen

sorry to hear of your dd's friends loss - the most well known bereavement counselling service i know is cruse
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
it has a section for young people too

hope this helps

bees_2

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

they are good to talk to and have a separate site aimed at teenagers. You can also ring them at national rate.
These things are so sad

littleredhen

don't know if samaritans are any good for her but here's their web address
too

http://www.samaritans.org/

there is also childline

rls1973

http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Curv

If she contacts her local hospice they may well have a Family Support team who will be able to give her some help.

If possible she ought to tell her parents or another adult who will be able to help - this is a massive thing to have to deal with at any age, let alone 13... it could cause emotional damage if not dealt with properly.

Also, she could try calling Childline.

geminilady

cocoluvsmummy wrote: »

My DD1s best friend has recently been bereaved but unfortunatly she can't talk to her parents about it, i am looking for any web sites i could give her that she might find of assistance.

A quickish summery of the situation is this DDs friend (lets call her sue) age 13 has quite controlling parents who are stong minded over what their daughter should/shouldnt do, now apprently sue has a had a BF for 9 months and has only just recently told her mates as he has moved away, her parents didnt know. Since he moved away she told him that it would be better if they no longer went out as it was impossible. Last weekend sue recieved a text off this boys mum telling sue that he had commited suicide by stabbing himself and had written sues name up his arm with the knife first. Now i don't know the whole storey and probably never will, but Sue is now traumatised and feels very guilty for it all (as she would)

Has anyone any advice on anywhere she can contact to get help, i have suggested school counsellor but she wont do this. i have promised not to say anything to her parents at the moment but if i felt sue was in any danger i would do so.

BTw if i could get my hands on the poor woman who has lost her son i would point out that laying this on the head of a 13 year old is terrible..how to mess with a poor girls mind.

Sorry alarm bells rang off when i read this post.Anybody can send a text,it could even be the boy himself pretending to be his Mum,teenagers can do strange things especialy when hurt.Has "sue" actualy spoken to the boys mum on the phone? if i am wrong i do apolagise but i really would sugest this is checked out

spidyem_frued

humm have to agree, she may be suicidal herself, sometimes appraching the school is good as she may be able to access the pastoral service as well. hope it all works out...Spids

snowmaid

geminilady wrote: »

Sorry alarm bells rang off when i read this post.Anybody can send a text,it could even be the boy himself pretending to be his Mum,teenagers can do strange things especialy when hurt.Has "sue" actualy spoken to the boys mum on the phone? if i am wrong i do apolagise but i really would sugest this is checked out

I am wondering the exact same thing? Children can be very cruel. Perhaps the OP can try follow it up for the girl and see if there is any record of this boy's death? If he has killed himself, she will most definitely need help as she may experience awful guilt etc.

cocoluvsmummy

Geminilady thanks for this thought re has she actually spoken to the mum, i have no idea and my DD doesnt either..she is going to find out, luckily sue has very supportive friends and they are sensible enough to come to their mums (well my DS has spoken to me, aand another frind has consulted her mum) the girls are sticking to sue like glue atm. I do realise this needs more then they can give though, but also worry if i break a confidence this early on in the teen years how are we going to go on the next time something happens.

geminilady

cocoluvsmummy wrote: »

Geminilady thanks for this thought re has she actually spoken to the mum, i have no idea and my DD doesnt either..she is going to find out, luckily sue has very supportive friends and they are sensible enough to come to their mums (well my DS has spoken to me, aand another frind has consulted her mum) the girls are sticking to sue like glue atm. I do realise this needs more then they can give though, but also worry if i break a confidence this early on in the teen years how are we going to go on the next time something happens.

Well done to your DD for being sensible enough to confide in you, that is a credit to you and it is great she and her friends are supporting sue,the teenage years are so hard even without any added stress.Have to go to work now but will catch up on the thread later.