I Want To Make My Own Money....help!!!

SallyUK

Awe, that's nice to know. hope you find something soon.

Sally
x

BASHFUL wrote: »

Thanks Sally, I Don't feel like too much of a fruit loop now :-)

kw03cd

Most areas near where I stay have a local volunteer group and some areas have an on-line search. Use both Google and Yell.com and do a variety of searches. Some areas have help finding work through development companies. I think it is important for you to get some help looking but not to have anyone pushing you too fast. If you don't feel up to learning a new skill at college you can do many things on-line and that would also help your confidence. Make a list of things you have done in previous work that you liked and that will help you job search. Take small steps and before you know it you will be making progress.

BASHFUL_2

thankyou kw03cd....I am doing an online course....I started doing it to build my confidence...I thought if I was able to do it and get a qualification, I would feel much better but unfortunately I am really struggling and its just nade me feel a lot worse!!! I will have a look on Google and yell, and see what is about in the way of volunteer work though.....so thanks for that x

loulou207

Hi,

Just to let you know I have sent you a private message.

loulou207

Hi Vicky,

I have sent you a private message.

best wishes
Dawn

Poosmate

Hi Bashful

One way you may be able to meet new people who are very local is by tending to your garden. I used to do this and very often. At first you could acknowledge passers-by with a nod of the head, then after a few times "hello". Some may even stop and compliment you on your hard work. What a boost to your confidence! Hay presto you have an acquaintance! It's the first step to finding a friend and it's not too painful.

I understand exactly what you mean about being agrophobic. I'm kind of reclusive myself. I work full time and it's that that's kept me from being a complete recluse. I need routine. I have safe places, work, supermarket, little shop up the road and home anywhere outside of those places is scary and takes me time to build up to go to. The thing is, when I go to the little shop up the road I will join in conversations, at work I will talk to anybody (it's a huge place). I don't randomly talk to people in the supermarket though (unless I turn round and the person I'm talking to isn't my mom! Doh! I hate it when she does that, it's so embarrassing! lol).

Please do something to help yourself before it goes too far. Don't end up like me. I'm not sad or lonely, just different. I don't know what I'm scared of I just know I'm scared. I guess I just want other people to leave me alone, that way I can't get hurt. Unfortunately, that pysche has somehow translated to other places too.

I hope you find something that will take you out of your comfort zone without being too traumatic. I may try the garden thing this weekend myself especially as a neighbour has offered to help me. He has a vested interest though, he's just bought the house next door to me so if the only thing he did was my garden he could resell at a £10k profit! lol.

Good luck to you.

Poo

BASHFUL_2

thankyou poosmate....I have been doing my garden funnily enough, and the neighbours come out and talk....the only thing is now I wont go out there unless im doing the garden with my OH!!! If the neighbours start talking to me, I panic because I dont know what to say! Sometimes I wont put the washing out on the line because I cant do it quick enough, before someone comes out and talks to me, its so stupoid, I'm so angry with myself, Its pathetic I know! Thanks for the advise though! The thing also is I am in my early 20's and although I am very much an old git for my age, most of my neighbours are over 65!!! I may try going out there again on my own, I am growing potatoes so I might go and tend to them, they do need more soil!!!! Thanks again x

Poosmate

Hi Bashful,

I know exactly what you mean about being scared to go out but I might try it myself if I can get my hayfever under control! Now there I have just given myself a getout clause for not going out! I bet that is something you do without even realising hey? At least I now recognise that I do it and try extra hard to make myself get out there and talk to people.

Regarding not knowing what to say, older people are generally a bit better with gardening tips so maybe if you run out of something to say you could ask if they know what a particular plant is (even if you know what it is). I'm quite lucky because I have no clue about flowers and actually think weeds are pretty (mom tells me they are weeds when I tell them they are pretty! lol).

I guess there is a pretty large age gap between you and your neighbours but it doesn't mean you can't talk to them. Admittedly, I'll be 42 on Friday so the age gap wouldn't be so daunting to me.

If you are into growing your own food what about getting yourself an allotment? That's a place where you can escape to for a bit of peace and solitude but other allotmenteers will talk to you (they seem to be a friendly bunch) and allotments are not full of retired old men nowadays, they're actually quite fashionable.

Look after those spuds! Spuds are the most wonderful food on earth especially with cheese! Hmmmmmm *licks lips and drools all over keyboard*

Good luck anyway.

Poo

P.S. You can call me Poo I don't mind.

specsappeal

Hi Bashful,
Just wanted to say that i admire you for trying to sort things out for yourself - feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Well done you!! I am also in Essex, right near the beach and im not the most sociable person around but even going out for a walk and saying a friendly hello to others is a good step.

BASHFUL_2

Thanks Poo. that did make me laugh!!! I am looking after the spuds, and they are the greatest food ever, I agree. My neighbour gave me some to start off with because my OH told him I wanted to grow them. My next door neighbour is senile as is my other next door neighbour! She comes out and asks me where I live, and then tells me that the woman that lives in my house has lots of cats and doesnt feed them, maybe thats why I dont go out there!!!! Her husband is nice but doesnt really say much. The neighbour that gave me the spuds is very talkative with my OH so maybe I could try and get in their conversation and see how it goes. Thanks, and stop making up hayfever excuses!!! Get some piriton down you, and start planting!!! I will if you will!!!