Twins....seperating them at school help.

Mojisola

luvvlyjubbly wrote: »

School policy is to divide siblings.

The school should not have a blanket policy like this. I'm sure if you read through other information the school gives out it will talk about "treating each child as an individual". How twins are treated should be decided after getting to know the twins and taking the parents' views into consideration - for some it would be best if they were in different classes, others should stay together.

Remember that the school policies are set by the Governors so it would be worth talking to the Chair of Governors as well as the Head.

DonnaP

Hi

I have twin DD's who are in reception and have no option to separate them as there is only 1 class for each year (only 100 children in the school). Actually the years are combined, which is another issue!

I would like the option to separate them as I think it is better for their long term development, but I do think it is a bit young to force the issue, especially if it is clearly causing your DD some problems.

I would speak to the head first. I am sure their policy is there for a reason, but remember, you are the 'expert' on your twins, not the school. Unless the head has twins of their own, they have less experience of twins than you.

Our head has twins of her own and really understands the issues. She refuses to have any 'twins policies' as she says all children are individuals.

Good luck

Donna

VickyA_2

My DH is a twin and he was separated from his twin sister when they went to a larger school. DH actually had to do his own work, which apparently shocked him (according to MIL anyway :rolleyes:). It ensured that they got their own circle of friends and DH was away from the dominant twin.

At least they can't be "compared" which is a trait that teachers suffer from (I'm a teacher and teach one half of a set of twins). The only time that it became a problem for DH was when he was asked in an A-level physics class why he wasn't as bright as his twin sister. Needless to say, their mother was down at the school before THAT day was over. :rolleyes:

mshappy

I'm an Identical twin and we were both in the same class till we went to high school.At firstI hated it but it made us more independant.

kscour

I have twin daughters, not identical - in fact quite different in personality. They were together throughout primary school, although they couldn't have been seperated as there was only was class per year.
The big thing is though that the school always treated them as individuals. Where one needed her confidence building it was never because of a multiple birth theme eg one was dominant etc. It was always just because she was a child who needed her confidence building. I know schools in some areas have a policy of seperating twins and some have a policy of keeping them together - I thank my lucky stars that theirs had a policy of doing what was right for the individual child.
When they moved to secondary school they (not me) were given the choice of whether they wanted to be in the same tutor group or not. They said yes for which I was grateful as I have only one form tutor to deal with but they are mostly in seperate classes during the day because they are split by ability.
They share the same group of friends but have different favourites - due to their differing personalities I imagine. They argue, have different tastes, moan about each other (just like all siblings) but they are the same age, share the same friends, have the same school work so why should they be forced to spend time apart if they don't want to? At their age I used to spend half my time at my friends house and she used to spend the other half at mine and no-one thought for a moment that one of us was more dominant or could be holding the other back.:D
It sounds like your head has had alot to deal with and if you're dealing with huge issues like he must have been then your time for smaller issues will be limited (and I don't mean your issues are small just that to turn the school around like he has then the other problems must have been enormous).
Make an appointment to see him, explain you can see his reasoning but that in your daughters case it is causing her serious problems. If his school policies are causing her this much distress then they need reviewing. If he is a good head then he will want to help your daughter and discuss things with you - if he isn't then you will need to push your case further.
sorry rattled on a bit - good luck and let us know how you get on.

Hippygirl

Yet another mum of non-identical girl twins! Small village school, so they have always been in the same class, but I would not have wanted them separated - why cause unneccesary distress to lttle children? School has always treated them as individuals (as has everyone else - the only person who ever refers to them as 'The Twins' is a friend who happens to be a GP!)

They are very different - one is arty, the other good at science and Maths, but also have many similar preferences and hobbies. Most of the time they are good friends - and sometimes they are horrible to one another...but not as horrible as my sister and I were to one another!

Thye are going to secondary school in September, and the security and confidence which their primary school has instilled over the past 7 years means that they now say they 'don't mind' whether they are together or in separate classes.

I think had they been forced apart before they were ready it would be very different and very much harder.

You know your children best and they need you to advocate for them. If your instinct is that they will be happier ( and therefore do better etc) together, at least for the time being, you can and must demand it. They have the rest of their lives to develop separatele intersts - and as girl and boy, puberty, if not before, will bring about different interests, friendships etc.

Let them enjoy being little, safe and secure, confident that you will protect them. The big wide world will encroach soon enough!

Mrs_Pepperpot_2

Sometimes it's best for twins to be separated and sometimes it's not. That's why you can't have a policy for something like this. The policy, if there has to be one, should surely be around doing the best for twins depending on their needs and in consultation with parents.
Schools should never take a stand like this without full disucssion with parents!
You need to go back and talk to the head, even if you decide to give it a bit more time to see how it goes - this all needs to be done with good communication between home and school!