Feeling like it's all a bit too much

yummymummy97

Hi there, I think you need a great big hug and deserve a break for what you have been through personally.Yes,your boss sounds really unsympathetic, surely you are allowed time off or a breather from what you had to endure.
Things will get better for you.

Good luck!

hilstep2000

First of all ((((((((((HUGS))))))))) to you.

Stress is awful. My Mamma died in January (she had Motor Neurone Disease) and I looked after her with my DD and my Dad. I organised all the funeral, and sorted out her estate. (Dad's 75 and couldn't cope)

Then three weeks later I had a massive relapse (I've got MS). My Nurse said it was all the stress I was under. You could go to your GP and tell him you are being bullied at work, and get him to sign you off, so you have time to look for another job, and get a case together to sort out your boss.:o

No job is worth being ill for, believe me.

As for the wedding, you don't have to do that now either. My DD is getting married next year. Her father and I are divorced, and she hates his nerw wife (The other woman) so she's getting married in the Caribbean. She wants myself and her stepfather, and her fiances' parents only, so there is that ption!:T

Anyway, take care, and keep us all posted. Good Luck!

RedBern

sorry to read this - you have my sympathy. Firstly deal with the bits you can... and the things you can't - let them go. So you can look after yourself and your health, both mentally and physically.

As you already know your boss is a bully. Bullies are mean, have no confidence, very little sense and don't like being challenged! If I were you, I'd put my complaint in writing - keep it as a statement of facts, not opinions. Correct the wrong statistical evidence and show lack of meetings etc.

Then, I'd send it to your boss, copy in her boss, and HR and make sure she knows that they've all been copied in. Ask for a re-appraisal of your bonus on the basis of ....what you've put in your report. If you work for a major company is there a Health & Safety guy you could contact?. Stress in the workplace is amajor problem and if you work for 'responsible employers' (who are trying to reach the Corporate Health Standard or similar) they should have mechanisms in place to help. Do they offer a counselling service that the company pays for? If so take advantage.

Break your problems down into bits you can change, and bits you can't.
(I was bullied some years ago by an office manager who was an absolute cow - when my dad died I was on holiday in France and flew back for the funeral-on my return to work I put in a slip for 5 days compassionate leave which is how long I was away from my family as they all stayed at the resort - and she challenged it. A senior manager told her to mind her own business, and she wouldn't let it drop. Eventually I wrote to the head of HR saying that, unless I was credited with the 5 days I would go to the union, and I had a great letter back immediately crediting my leave - and apologising for the upset this had caused - and even better she had a b*llo*king)! She never bothered me again after that;)