Fiance having an affair and refuses to leave

izoomzoom

I know this is wrong but do not tell work that she cant come in because of childcare issues. rather make out that sister is sick (stress if necessary) because she might still then get paid (sick pay) whilst 'parental' leave is almost always unpaid ...

Pash1

I really feel for her but she must get legal advice asap. She will get 30 mins free advice under the green form scheme. I wish her well.

calleyw

viktory wrote: »

Personally, I'd change the locks and tell him to fcuk off, but that's just me and I KNOW it is not the sensible option but cheating men make me sooo mad.

It is not just unsensible but I believe illegal as his name is on the mortgage and 50% of the property is his.

He is entitled to stay in his own home. You can't make him leave at this stage. Some proper legal advice should be sought at this stage.

Takes two tango last time I looked. He has lied but the moment the truth came out the other woman should have walked away. Actually run for the hills. If he has lied once then goodness only knows what else he has lied about.

All the best to the Op's Sister.


Yours


Calley

terryw

What an awful situation here. There are no easy answers. Whilst legal advice is absolutely essential here I would make the following observations.

Solicitors and legal action costs money...two solicitors involved quadruples the letter writing and phone calls. Sooner or later the solicitors have to be paid. Legal Aid sounds great but this is only a loan.........a charge will be made on the property and costs claimed when it is sold. This would easily eat up a small equity.

Hard as it might be (after taking legal advice) the pair must sit down together and discuss logically what is to happen about the house. Is it to be sold and the excess shared or is one person to buy out the other or what?. Agreement on valuations etc and compromise is really necessary. Try and have a neutral respected friend who can be non-judgmental present when you talk to avoid it ending up in a slagging match. Solicitors love cases where both clients are pig-headed.

I have tried to give practical advice here. Sorry that I have not mentioned the emotional side but this will get better as a new life starts and time goes by.

terryw

Carmina_Piranha_3

what about this man's parents? could she phone them and say that because their son wants to see his new girlfriend he won't look after the child while she works, and ask the grandparents if they will take over their son's responsibilities while she works this weekend?

Frith

If he has been aggressive, she could get an occupation order and make him leave... My ex left just after being threatened with an occupation order.

30 mins with a good solicitor would really clarify things.

Liz

yoni_one

You might want to point her in the direction of the organisation Rights of Women who are there to give legal advice to women, especially those who find themselves at a disadvantage through no fault of their own.

Although your sister's position isn't unique to women, of those people who are in your sister's position, most are women.

www.row.org.uk

Best of luck in accessing good information and support for your sister.

BTW, when one partner deliberately takes all the money so the other does not have access to it, that falls under the definition of domestic abuse and as such should qualify your sister to receive advice, information and support from her local Women's Aid outreach service which you can find on www.womensaid.org.uk.

Some areas run a drop-in service.

If you need any further information pls pm me.

softwaremad

tell her not to leave the house - she must stay also keep a record of every bill she pays, there have been instances where the person who pays the mortgage has won everything as the other party can not prove that they contributed. she must stay keep every bill track down as much info as possible from prev years in order to show that she has contributed.

This guy is unbelievably smart in his thinking of how to do her over. Personally in this situation i waited till my partner was drunk and nabbed his keys when passed out he left for work & couldnt get back in! but one option is changing the locks when hes out at work & generally just making life awkward for him. tell him how detrimental his behaviour is to yourself & daughter, maybe hell wise up if not then make sure you see a lawyer they do first session free for advice (always check first) and if you have to give up work & claim benefit! this way you will get the assistance you need to get what you are entitled to

good luck lol sounds like a duff egg in the basket

softwaremad

oh yeah i forgot he took money from the joint account - big mistake on his part quantifies as theft when a split occurs dig out the statements he has to account for that money or give half back

yamaha43

Like I said on other forum posts - best to try http://www.takelegaladvice.com - free site to get legal advice or find a lawyer - hope this helps