Have you ever bought a house you didnt like?

Spamreported

We recently moved into a pretty countryside cottage in Derbyshire having moved from a town house.

The wife became pregnant a month before we moved but I dont know whether this is hormones but she doesnt like the house we have moved too as it is a bit quiet and dark.

Obviously it is a bit of a revelation and quite a conumdrum, so can I ask, if any one has disliked a house they have moved to, did it get better?

hollydays

Were you both equally enthusiastic about moving from town to country?
The countryside is supposed to be quieter isn't it,that's the whole point.
Maybe she is feeling lonely,and you need to find your way around the area ,find out what's happening locally.Yes,it may be her hormones though,and partly a feeling that she's going to be stuck in the house and not be able to get out.Her midwife would be a good person to talk to about this,and will put her in touch with local groups.
I have lived in old houses ,we shoud say they are "cosy",not dark.When I have felt they are dark,it was a sign I needed to get out a bit more (in a nice way of course),or do things to make me feel a bit more positive.

Eon4

We moved house as part of a relocation deal with my work two and a half years ago...we hate this house, no offence to anyone in a "newer" house but I am sure the walls/floors are made of cardboard.

I have also been pregnant in this house and the nesting hormones didn't make alot of difference because I have always known in my heart this wasn't the home for us. We are lucky enough to have not paid anything to move into this house (just ported our mortgage) so we have decided to put the house on the market and move back to an older property.......I am sure some people will think us mad (esp. now) but we are just seeing if it sells, if not we will move one day in the future!

If your wife is truly unhappy and you are willing/able to do something about it then I would say....life's too short....do it!!

If she is just taking her time to settle maybe there are things you could do to brigthen the house up and make her a bit happier??

Good luck with the baby (if it's your first - don't underestimate the power of hormones and keep a clear head!!!)

x

Davesnave

Cottages are darker than modern houses, and without street lighting, places in the countryside feel very isolated and even scary to people used to towns.

It really is vital for both of you to find ways into the local community, or you'll just feel like you're on an enforced holiday. Ante natal groups spring to mind - we met quite a few people that way through National Childbirth Trust.

One consolation, pretty cottages in Derbyshire are a finite commodity and should hold value better than most things if you decide to sell eventually.

dubsey

I think that's good advice from Davesnave, if you've moved to a new area then you definately need to meet a few people so she doesn't feel isolated.
It could be pregnancy hormones, all women are different and pregnancy affects us in different ways. You do need to give it a bit of time and obviously if she still feels the same then you will both need to think about your options at the time.

Our second house was a rushed buy and a mistake. We viewed once at 7.30pm on January 2nd (lady was watching Eastenders and wouldn't even acknowledge us-her hubby showed us round) and moved in on Feb 2nd. The day we moved in I sat on the stairs and cried. Twenty months later it was back on the market, but I knew I would never like it. The layout of the house was something we could never have changed and that was the thing I hated, so if it's the light that is a problem is there anything you could do to improve that?

Scaredy_Cat_3

Dubsey, you sound like me! We panic-bought this house a year ago. I knew I didn't like it even before we put the offer in but we were under pressure from our buyers and we wanted a house in this area.

The day we moved in I sat outside for an hour (waiting for the vendors to move out) and cried my eyes out! We've been here a year and I still hate it. I know I will never like it, and we hope to move on within a couple of years.

I am posting here to raise two points. Firstly, I knew I hated it here before I even moved in, so if your wife liked it before she was pregnant then it's quite possible she will like it again once the baby is born.

Secondly, when you are pregnant you don't think the same as normal! When I was pregnant the first time I was absolutely panic-stricken about how we would manage financially once the baby was born. I also wanted to move house, but I think it was more to reduce the mortgage than anything else. Thankfully we couldn't sell and had to stay - we were there for another 11 years - and that is the house we left to buy this 'lemon'. So, don't make any rash decisions based on how your wife feels while she is pregnant, because she may well feel differently after the baby is born.

Good luck - having a baby is wonderful, and remember, you have the rest of your lives to decide if you want to move - don't give yourselves additional stress by trying to move house while pregnant.

hethmar

It is sad that your wife feels that way - Id have thought a country cottage would be a lovely place to have children. It may be that she just isnt a country person. I know when we were selling our 18th century cottage one couple came and she had such an awful expression on her face all the time, it was obvious she would be happier in a new build in a town. She even asked why I didnt have "nets" at the window because it made her feel uncomfortable. We were in the middle of an acre of land - why on earth would anyone want "nets" LOL. But people have different needs and wants.

We panic bought a town house when we sold a large place in the country and lost our purchase. We didnt want to break the chain and decided to buy an empty place where we could wait until we sorted out what we really wanted. We HATED it. My husband would get up in the morning, look out the window at the rows of almost identical houses and groan "Morning campers". It was like we were living in a holiday chalet. We couldnt breathe, the neighbours were all very defensive about their little patches of garden and we needed room and space. We got out asap!

If your wife is not working then she needs to get involved with the local community - there will be voluntary work she can do and also when the baby comes along, mum and baby groups. BUT if she really isnt happy, then sell up and get back to a townhouse pronto

dubsey

Scaredy Cat - exactly! I knew I didn't like the house but I was desperate not to move back in with the in-laws while we took our time and looked around (which is what we ended up doing between this house and our last one). So right too, about pregnancy changing your perspective on things. She may feel once your first child has been born in the house that she sees it in a different light (no pun intended!).

Hethmar, that 'morning campers' made me laugh, we lived on a new build estate (sorry, luxury development :rolleyes: ) and that's what it was like. My MIL asked how we remembered which road was ours because they all looked so similar.

PasturesNew

I bought a house I quickly started to hate.
Then was trapped by circumstances there for the next 7 years (in/out of work, unmortgageable, house needed a lot of work to be vaguely finished/thought things might miraculously improve)

Finally sold it last year.
Relief.

But in the OP's case it might not be the house, but the whole change to environment that's the issue.

pawpurrs

Me!

I bought and am living in a beautiful Grade II Listed cottage that is lovley,but the location isnt where I want to be,and I have neighbours from hell and the noise from them and the road are slowly driving me mad!

I am getting really depressed as we cant really afford to move and pay all that stamp duty etc again, and I know its not a good time to move or increase your mortgage!

I just dont know what to do, and will it even sell if I put it on the market, I would consider selling up and renting,but my pets are everything to me, so would have to be some where that will take them.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I know how Mrs feels

Bf109

It can be scary to be relatively isolated in the country.

Not the same thing I know, but we were camping thr south hams in march and were the only tent in the field. More than once I woke up thinking "whats that sound"

You get used to it.