What's the definition of an alcoholic?

kent_lady

Feelinggood, well done for being a recovering alcoholic and I really appreciate your advice as a result, you are speaking from experience. Interesting point about him being happy with his drinking habits, perhaps it is just me then? It's just I can't get my head round him being unable/unwilling to go for a night/a week without. Like I said, I had a glass of wine on Friday night but have had nothing since and "am I bovvered?" (no).

Perhaps it just means that his habits are different to mine? Can't help feeling that if he can't go without then he is addicted though.....

bloomin_freezing

Personally a couple of cans of lager a night sounds ok to me, units for me don't come into things, he's just having a couple of beers. Money permitting, i can easily have 2 or 3 glasses of wine every night (3 large glasses usually empty the bottle) , occasionally if i haven't finished the bottle the night before i'll have a glass in the afternoon with my lunch. Does this mean i'm an alcoholic too?

Cornishpixie_2

Hi, Have a similar dilema with hubby, he drinks and smokes every night. I did the demotivator and told him how much he spends as we couldn't afford to go on holiday. Then his mother bails him out by sending money for the holiday:mad: Anyhoo I have suggested giving up together, though I don't drink a lot, but if I bottle of wine then I'll usually drink it. Around once a week, but if I'm stressed midweek and he buys some, then I'll have a glass of wine or beer. Then he says I know you couldn't do it. Personally I've come to the conclusion that's it's best for me to back off, for time being as he does have stressful job. He has cut back a bit so hope one day he will wake up and smell the coffee. I wonder what your hubby would do if you backed of completely? That pressure would be gone then,and my guess is eventually he'll think oh perhaps she's right. My advise is not too rely on him, and just get on and do your own thing. See what happens.;)

DrFluffy

The very quick screening tool we use in clinics is the CAGE questionnaire:
C = do you think you need to Cut down on your drinking
A = do you get Annoyed or angry when people suggest you drink too much
G = do you feel Guilty about the amount you drink
E = do you take an Eye opener

There are lots of different definitions of an alcoholic, which usually relate to the speciality seeing a patient, the best of which is probably "the repeated use of alcohol despite recurrent adverse consequences", combined with tolerance (the need to drink more alcohol to get the same effect), a clear withdrawal syndrome (symptoms on ceasing drinking) and an uncontrollable drive to drink.

ViHan

Similar scenario here. Mr ViHan likes a regular drink in the evening when he comes home from work to 'unwind'.
I talk to him on regular occasions about it and now he drinks for say 4 nights, a beer or a glass of wine, at weekends though he makes it a couple BUT he can go for long periods without even thinking of a drink. For instance he once gave it up for Lent :eek:
Pity Lent has gone really.. you could have thrown down that gauntlet for him..:rolleyes:

I think if you are teetotal or rarely drink, then you notice it more. I don't drink, but my father was an alcoholic.

sandy2_2

To me it sounds more like a habit rather than an addiction, just like if you have 2 cups of tea in the morning. Ok, for OP it's an irritating habit I admit. Pehaps get him to share a can with you as a shandy, or have a glass of wine together

paula65

If he's only having a couple of cans and not getting plastered or getting violent or angry, I'd say it was a habit.

I have to admit that my husband and I have a couple of cans every night, once the kids are in bed. When I was pregnant (4 kids) I just switched to non alcaholic beer :beer:

Ephemera

My father often drinks a half bottle of whisky a night, or several cans of strong lager, and denies he has a problem.

He doesn't, we do!

He's irrational, often insulting, emotionally unstable, flies off the handle about nothing and is incoherent at times.


There are very few days when he doesn't have a drink, even during his treatment for prostate cancer he still drank, although beer, not spirits.

Fool to himself.

Ephemera

feelinggood wrote: »

The following test devised by the World Health Organisation might help you/him to work out if there is a problem:
http://www.aa-uk.org.uk/publications/areyou.htm

To be honest, although he is undoubtedly a heavy drink who is consuming more than he should, he doesn't sound like an alcoholic.

Does he always have 2 cans or more - does he every just have a few sips or one can?
How is he emotionally? Does he have mood swings? Anxiety?
Has he ever decided to 'test' himself by not drinking for X amount of time, or is it always your idea?
Does he have any family history of mental illness, addiction or substance abuse?

While many people can be high functioning alcoholics who hold down jobs, have families and don't drink in the morning, in my experience, all alcoholics have a lot of inner turmoil. If he is genuinely happy with his drinking habits and likes a couple of cans to unwind, it doens't sound like a problem.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I'm married to a heavy drinker, and there is a big difference in my opinion :O)

Ow.

Did the test on my Dad's behalf, assumed he didn't feel guilty about his drinking and he scored 27!!!
8 is a problem drinker.

However he STILL will not admit he has a problem with drink.

:wall::wall::wall:

belfastgirl23

I think if your DH refuses to admit there's a problem and is the type of person who does not like being told what to do (I have one of them at home myself) then you can't keep going on at him about it. I think you should have a heart to heart where you say to him that you are really upset about this and you are not going to talk to him about it any more but you want him to know that you are concerned that he is damaging his health. If he chooses to ignore it there's nothing you can do. But if you do talk to him about it again after this focus on you and how it upsets you rather than him. The worst thing you can do with a guy like this is go on the attack unfortunately, it'll only make him dig his heels in.

I do think it's a problem btw but unfortunately you can't do it for him.

Finally it's worth seeing if there are other sneakier ways to persuade him. EG is he concerned about his weight? Level of fitness? would he be worried about diabetes potentially? Exploit ruthlessly anything he's thinking about that might lead to him cutting down....encourage him to take up some kind of sport that might lead to him cutting back etc. Just a thought, I know that has worked with DH to some extent, some things are best approached sideways.

Good luck though. There's a lot of alcoholism in my own family so I know something of what your worries are...