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Children moving back home..
Comments
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When she moves back in, try not to slip back into the parent/child pattern. She's an adult sharing a house with other adults. Before you decide on financial issues and who does what cooking/shopping/washing, etc, think how you would tackle it if she was a stranger you were house-sharing with. That will give a realistic starting point for negotiations and you won't end up financing her life and doing everything you did for her when she was a child.0
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My son came back after sharing but it was on a completely different footing ie: he paid us more than he did before as it happens he was on quite good money , and he continued to feed himself and took care of his own laundry and room. It was like having a lodger in the house... it suited both of us as I really did not want to go back to taking care of him and he didn't want to become a teen again...
The money was used for some overpayments and to replace some household items that were past their best and he was able to save towards a deposit... as it turned out he left after 9months to share a house with a mate but it worked out fine for all concerned.. he didn't become dependant on us again and we made use of the welcome extra income...
I don't think its too much and you can of course give her some back when she goes if you wish..
This time I changed the locks....:rotfl:#6 of the SKI-ers Club :j
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" Edmund Burke0 -
When i first got a job i used to pay 1/3rd of my wages to my parents, 1/3rd i could spend and the rest i had to save, that was from 17-19. Then i moved out for just over a yr, lived with ex (though he wasnt at the time), things went wrong, he became ex and i had to move home, i was out of work for a while but when i got a job my parents decided that i could pay them £400pm, i didnt begrudge giving them money but that was a bit much, caused loads of arguments and i finally had to admit that i couldnt afford it cos i was in £9000 of debt so they gave me a 3 month break paying just £300pm, i was working shifts and was hardly in the house when i was off but apparently that ws what i ws costing them and they wanted to prepare me for the real world (hang on i say, ive moved out before, I KNOW all about the reall world) so more arguments, more stress, they couldnt decide if they were paretns, in which case let me pay what i can afford (£270 at the time) and pay my debt off as much as poss then i can start paying you more, if your landlords take the £400 but let me come and go as i please, they would question me when i went anywhere, i had no freedom, only stayed about 8 months before i moved out due to the stress it ws causing everyone.
Oh and just after i moved back my sis decided to mve back as well so they were charging here the same, she got the short straw thougth cos she had to sleep in dining room (both work shifts so not practical to share room, and we would have killed each other)
wow that ws a long rant, sorry guys.
Guess im just saying £280 sounds fair but check to see if she is in debt as though you dont want to be bailing her out of it, you also dont want her getting into more, is she good with money? could you sit and do a budget with her so she can start saving for a deposit? more importantly have you introduced her to this site?0 -
wendy_ann1983 wrote: »Oh and just after i moved back my sis decided to mve back as well so they were charging here the same, she got the short straw thougth cos she had to sleep in dining room (both work shifts so not practical to share room, and we would have killed each other)Dum Spiro Spero0
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£280 per months is RIDICULOUSLY cushy!!
As a 22 yr old renting with my partner my monthly financial breakdown is something like this:
-£250 (ish) for rent
-£140 for food
-£20 for mobile
-£25 for broadband/telephone
-£40 for water and electricity
-£15 for travel
TOTAL- £490 per month!
(And luckily for me, I am a full time student, so I don't have to pay the extra £100 per month for council tax).
Moreover, as a student, my income is not close to £16,000 per year. You should give your daughter a realistic amount to pay and if she can not afford it, tell her to look for a better job or put in more hours (is she a graduate?)'I can't deny the British influence on my accent and mannerisms, but I don't know the British national anthem, I didn't weep for Princess Diana and I always cheer when Britain loses at sport. That's how British I am' Constantine-Simms. :T
On God: 'The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike' D. B. McKown :T0 -
Whatever you end up charging her arrange for the payment to be via a standing order straight into your bank. This will avoid having to ask for the money every month." The greatest wealth is to live content with little."
Plato0 -
I don't see why you should charge her more than any extra it costs you to have her at home.
Otherwise you are making a profit out of your own daughter.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0 -
I don't see why you should charge her more than any extra it costs you to have her at home.
Otherwise you are making a profit out of your own daughter.
No, it's called paying your own way and being a grown up. I also doubt that there's be much profit to be made on £280 per month anyway but that's not really the point.0 -
Im 24 and i wish i could have it that easy..... i know it will not cost you that much to have your child living with you but just think if they had a room in a house it would cost the between 300 - 400 then bills, food on top!!!
You could always use say 100 or whatever it cost you to keep her ie food, money towards utilites, washing powder...... then save up the rest as a nice surprise for when she is ready to find her own place.
Because getting a deposit together is a big struggle, she needs learn that life is not cheap there is no point not teaching that lesson.
My brother is 27 and he was living with parents and meant to be paying £200 all inclusive where as i was younger than him and living on my own in a bedsit pay 450pcm then food and everything on top as was stuggling a little but could not live with parents because he was.
He ended getting his clothes washed for him by my mum even though i had been doing my own since about age 11, food cooked for him or takeaway bought, petrol for his bike etc etc oh and never really did pay the rent despite earning over £1,000 pcm and thought he was hard done by.
Now parents have relocated to 300 miles away and now brother is living with my other brother in a house with no fridge, oven etc etc because he will do anything to avoid paying to live someone..... constantly borrows money off me to eat and is jealous of my house. I believe this is my parents fault as they never taught there little golden boy how to fend for himself.Official DFW Nerd number 227
Proud to be dealing with my debts!!!!0 -
i think thats way to much tbh but if you are happy to charge that its up to you and like someone else has said very much doubt she will stay at home for long .once you move out its never the same when you move back !0
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