Oh where to begin? Divorce, ex in my house & not paying mortgage

tbs624

Silly_Cow wrote: »

We both walked into the marriage with nothing. We were together 16 years, originally living in council flats, me staying at home to look after the kids and doing the invoicing and paperwork.

It says more about you than me that you can make these assumptions without first asking questions.

I think there may be one or two people on here who either have had a painful experience with their own divorce or are worried about one in the near future.;)

virgo149

So sorry to hear what you are going through - I'm sure it can't be easy on either side and is is very sad to see a marriage break down.

From a housebuyers persepective I can categorically say that a dirty house with a smelly dog AND any kind of marital dispute going on will have a major impact on the house sale.

We viewed a house a few months ago where the couple were divorcing. We arrived to a shocked chap (who was just waiting to pick up his daughter) who didn't know the viewing had been arranged and the wife had gone out and left him too it. He explained what was going on and the viewing went from bad to worse when we found the wife had put a padlock on the master bedroom suite so we couldn't even see it. The wife was refusing to move out or help with the sale.

The house would have been perfect for us but I'm afraid we ran for the hills - who needs the extra hassle on top of buying anyway.

Not what you want to hear but you won't sell until things change. I agree you must go back to your solicitor - or change them to one who will go back to court and get the order amended and get him kicked out - sorry lads, but if that's what it takes for them both to move on, it's probably the best thing in the long run.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

If he moves out it still doesn't solve the problem of who pays the mortgage , totally agree the house has to go to auction for a quick sale. your ex is hoping that it will be repossessed hence his actions, best get what you can for it before you lose all your savings plus the house.

AMD

Silly_Cow

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

That was why I took an experienced specialized barrister into court with me. It was the best money I have ever spent.

Would you believe I actually did that? It cost me £1,468.75 for my barrister to compose this colander-like court order!

I've spoken to my solictor today and did mention that it may be beyond her expertise. She is speaking to the civil litigation department and will get back to me.

We'll see.:rolleyes:

Silly_Cow

Rachman wrote: »

I am not surprised in the slightest he's doing this. I take it was not a particularly pleasant divorce and you instigated it. Water under the bridge, hopefully - for everyone. Is he feeling aggrieved about the level of maintenance or is it just a payoff - most men in this situation are Okish till they find out you've met someone else then it really p1sses them off that they are paying for someone else to sleep in a bed with their [ex]wife and is saying good night to their kids - and you can see why, can't you ? [rightly or wrongly]

He originally instigated the divorce then stopped. After 6 months, I gave up waiting and decided to divorce him. So far, he's been fine with the maintenance side of things. I doubt it'll be the same story this month, though. I have met someone else now, a whole year after splitting up from ex. He doesn't live with me and has never stayed overnight when my kids have been home.

Rachman wrote:

If you don't pay the mortgage it will get repo'd - you know that and you will get less for it. He knows that too. But why does he care. If he's on the mortgage he may lose a bit of credit rating, but nothing worrying. He gets no equity in it anyway so why bother paying out on the debt on it - all it does is make him poorer and you better off in lots of ways. If he fails to pay, he lives there, trashes it, it's got enough equity that the repossession or sale price will cover the debt but you get nothing. How does he really lose ?

This is the quote which sums up what I'm trying to say. I understand his reasoning. He has no interest in keeping the house in good order or paying the mortgage.

I just hoped that someone would be able to tell me what is the best course of action now, with the flawed order. I do appreciate people's comments. Thanks.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

As a company director, it would be bad news for him to have bad credit rating/default notice placed against his record, should he wish to borrow money at any point, a possible default notice on his mortgage wouldn't look very good, especially with the credit crunch going on at the moment. I'd point this out to him.

AMD

spirit

Hello Silly Cow. You have my full sympathy too. I don't know who you work for but sometimes a large employer will have an Employee Assistance Scheme to help with all sorts of matters not only financial and legal? If so they might be able to help you with free legal advice and anything else you need to get you through this. Do the children live with you? What ages are they?

Keep strong, there are plenty of folk on here who will advise and not judge.

Silly_Cow

virgo149
- thanks for the housebuyer's perspective. This is a genuine worry of mine. It's all very well people saying that buyers will see past this that & the other, but obviously I'd rather there was nothing to see past!

AMD & RecoveringAlcoholic
- yes, I guess an auction sale is an option I'll have to consider.

AMD
- thanks, I'll point out to him about the director thingy. I did bring up about his credit rating when I spoke to him at the weekend but his response was, "I don't care". It's very sad really.

spirit
- thank you. I work for a small employer but thanks for the suggestion. My daughter is 18 & lives quite a hobo life now She stays at my mum's or her boyfriend's parents' or, rarely, with me or my ex. She originally came with me but finds sharing a small bedroom with her 10 year old brother rather irritating to say the least.

gfplux

Hello Silly Cow,
You may want to think about doing a Tricia Walsh-Smith. This lady is getting a divorce and has posted a great but sad video on youtube. have a look at this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx_WKxqQF2o

I think we will see more of this type of video in future.
Good Luck

Generali

I think the auction route could be one to pursue. You'll get your money quickly and it'll save you a lot of grief and, after legal fees, possibly no worse off.