Oh where to begin? Divorce, ex in my house & not paying mortgage

dopester

I remember reading divorce rates fall in recessions and there is a big rise in religion believers in a depression... empowering the church.

As already said above, this guy just doesn't seem to have any motive to continue paying the mortgage on this 5 bedroom house. Good luck with both your properties.

Silly_Cow

Thank you all for your replies.

I'm off to work in a little while so I'll try to be brief but I appreciate that a bit more background is needed as it seems the natural assumption here has been that I have taken everything from him.

Yes, I have been awarded the equity in both homes. This amounts to approximately £160,000. This means I will need a mortgage of £40-50,000 to get a moderate 3 bedroom house. My annual salary is £13,000. The settlement doesn't leave me in as strong a position as you may have originally thought.

In contrast, my ex takes home £6,000 a month! He is a director of a £2m turnover company. He also part owns a pub which has a 3 bedroom flat where he is able to live rent free. He has been left extremely well off financially.

During the divorce and ancillary relief proceedings, he did not once reply to letters or comply with court orders.

I have this particular court order in front of me now - for what it's worth.
It doesn't state who should pay the mortgage.
It does state that he can stay there until completion of sale.
It doesn't state that he must keep the property in a reasonable condition.
It does state that he shall afford access to (the house) to the nominated estate agents for the purposes of valuing & appointments (etc) upon given at least 16 hours' notice.

Trollfever - no, it's not on the market yet. If I could post pictures, you'd understand why.

tbs624

On the face of it, he does seem be in a reasonable financial situation, compared to you but relationship breakdown does affect some people's behaviour badly and they find it hard to move forward in life . It seems more than a bit of a slip-up that the original court order did not specify who should pay the mortgage - IMO you need to get yourself a new solicitor. You could try here: http://www.sfla.co.uk/directory/ or ask for personal recommendations locally.

Rachman_2

ask yous solicitor if you think he/she was negligent. Did she ask for the order to state he take reasonable care of it etc etc. - this is not a new situation and should have been dealt with properly by both the courts and the solicitors. It was made far har harder by you leaving the family home.

I am not surprised in the slightest he's doing this. I take it was not a particularly pleasant divorce and you instigated it. Water under the bridge, hopefully - for everyone. Is he feeling aggrieved about the level of maintenance or is it just a payoff - most men in this situation are Okish till they find out you've met someone else then it really p1sses them off that they are paying for someone else to sleep in a bed with their [ex]wife and is saying good night to their kids - and you can see why, can't you ? [rightly or wrongly]

If you don't pay the mortgage it will get repo'd - you know that and you will get less for it. He knows that too. But why does he care. If he's on the mortgage he may lose a bit of credit rating, but nothing worrying. He gets no equity in it anyway so why bother paying out on the debt on it - all it does is make him poorer and you better off in lots of ways. If he fails to pay, he lives there, trashes it, it's got enough equity that the repossession or sale price will cover the debt but you get nothing. How does he really lose ?

I am rather surprised your solicitor's been so naive.

So, at some point you are going to have to forget lawyers and see what he wants - face to face. And even then you might not like the answer. I have to say, I fear you may end up a long way out of pocket from where you thought you'd be, sadly.

MissMoneypenny

Rachman wrote: »

I am rather surprised your solicitor's been so naive.

That was why I took an experienced specialized barrister into court with me. It was the best money I have ever spent.

CHR15

As a bloke who has been through similar, I completely see where the ex husband is coming from.

This should have been avoided in the first place, poor advice from Solicitors (were you his first case??). It's not your Ex who is to blame, it's the fool who suggested this was the best option.

Emotional assets aside, the OP brings a negligable amount of money into the marriage but walks off with everything.
The Ex loses everything and is made to feel lucky to have nothing, a line in the sand.

He may be fortunate enough to be in a position to rebuild his life after it's total destruction, not everyone is that fortunate. It's not just his past he lost, it was his future too, his social status, respect etc etc.

I don't mean to be harsh towards the OP but perhaps she should walk out with her £13K a year and nothing else just to see how the Ex feels.

Blame the Solicitor, not the Ex. I very much doubt he is laughing at you.

silvercar

You are either going to have to move back in or tell him you will go to court to get him moved out, if doesn't be more obliging. The court will see that he has his next home ready and waiting for him and so could easily order him out.

Without putting it on the market, it is going to be difficult to show that he is being obstructive. It may be that you need to market it and hope that buyers will see past the smelly dog etc

If it all becomes too difficult you may have to decide to let the lender repossess. Though I have known ex's to delay repossession if they can persuade the lender that they are going through a difficult divorce. My frined managed to get the lender to wait 18 months, by which time she was in a position to buy him out.

silvercar

CHR15 wrote:

I don't mean to be harsh towards the OP but perhaps she should walk out with her £13K a year and nothing else just to see how the Ex feels.

Presumably the settlement was reached precisely because OP is earning 13k a year and her ex is financially more secure.

We don't know the circumstances but OP may have given up her career/ supported her OH/ brought up the family/ just so that the ex could strive ahead and make his fortune. Now that future joint income is gone, the balancing attempt gives OP the chance to afford a small property of her own and her ex maintains his earnings ability.

Silly_Cow

CHR15 wrote: »

Emotional assets aside, the OP brings a negligable amount of money into the marriage but walks off with everything.
The Ex loses everything and is made to feel lucky to have nothing, a line in the sand.

We both walked into the marriage with nothing. We were together 16 years, originally living in council flats, me staying at home to look after the kids and doing the invoicing and paperwork.

It says more about you than me that you can make these assumptions without first asking questions.

I may well walk away with nothing, but at least my head will be held high.

Thank you, everyone for your comments. I shall reply in more depth when I get home. This is me sneaking a quick 10 minutes whilst my systems are down at work.

RecoveringAlcoholic

Every story has two sides.

Put the property up for auction.