SIDS - new mums, please read this

Felicity

I am very fortunate in that I have a healthy 6 months old baby boy.

When he was 3 weeks old, he stopped breathing one evening.

I had put him to sleep in his cot as usual.

I only knew he had stopped breathing because we have a monitor that detects movement, or lack of.

That evening, the monitor went off.

This was in November and I was alone at home with him. I absolutely panicked. I had a phone in the bedroom but was worried that ringing 999 would not help me quickly enough so I took him to the window and opened it up and put my baby outside to try and shock him with the cold air. That didn’t work so I took all of his clothes off and threw cold water over him and he finally started breathing again.

I was absolutely panic stricken after the event and when hubby came home we decided that maybe the alarm was dysfunctional and baby was just in a very deep sleep. It is not nice to think that your baby had stopped breathing so we tried to think of any excuse and blamed it on the alarm.

5 months on, the alarm has never gone off since.

Needless to say, since then we have both taken first aid courses to learn how to resuscitate a baby (plus minor ailments etc.)
I was reading in this months Mother and Baby magazine about how one lady lost her little boy at 3 weeks old due to SIDS and it really made me shudder.

I have read many posts on this forum asking what equipment is necessary for a new Mum. My absolute advice is, forget the toys, forget the fancy clothes. Buy yourselves a baby movement monitor that detects their breathing.

I bought mine from new from Kiddicare and it cost about £80, I have seen them second hand on ebay for a lot less though. I have the AngelCare and you can set the system in
accordance with your babies mattress.

We have travelled a couple of times with my little chap and have a Mamas and Papas travel cot. I take down our notice board from the study and put it under his mattress when we travel so that the monitor has a firm base to sit on. It takes up room in the car, but I would not be without this system.

He is 6 months old now (and hopefully) out of danger from SIDS, but I will still not risk things and I put his monitor on every night. I watched that awful episode of Emmerdale where little Daniel died at 7 months old, before that I thought we would be out of danger at 6 months but now I am aware that we need to be alert for the first 12 months of the babies life.

I just shudder thinking about that night and what would have happened if we did not have the monitor. I have mentioned this to a couple of friends who are pregnant and they are very blaze about SIDS but I can’t recommend these monitors enough.

In my experience, if there is one thing you need for your baby then a movement monitor is it.

Our little boy is absolutely everything to us and I just cannot stress how important these monitors are. When I hear stories about people that lost babies to SIDS, I just wonder if one of these monitors could have saved their babies lives.

I understand they are not life saving devices, but they do make you aware, very quickly, if your baby has stopped breathing.

From one very, very lucky Mum who still has her little chap with her.

PS I am crying as I write this as I just cannot imagine life without my little baby boy, and had it not been for that monitor, I am convinced I would not have him with me now.

daphne_descends

Felicity, your story has raised the hairs on the back of my neck - thank goodness you were there and able to act quickly. I cannot imagine how terrifying that must have been.

We too have an AngelCare monitor, without it I don't think I would let DS out of my sight for a second. I agree with you, it is absolutely the most important baby-item we have bought.

I am not wanting a debate but I cannot understand parents who ignore FSIDS advice and put tiny babies into their own rooms at a young age knowing that this doubles the risk of SIDS. My DS is 6 months and I don't plan on evicting him any time soon.

Thanks for the noticeboard tip, genius!

angel81uk

Hi Felicity, I'm so sorry to hear you had such a horrible scare but I'm glad to hear your little boy is still with you and healthy. You're completely right, something that can help save a babies life is so much more important than the extra toys, clothes etc that the money could be spent on.

I'm really glad to hear you went on to take a first aid course. People wouldn't want to leave their child at a nursery or with a nanny who didn't have first aid training but they often don't think of doing some training themselves. Your baby spends much more time in your care than that of someone else so it's just as important that you know what to do in an emergency. Just a few basic skills only take a few hours to learn but they can really make a difference.

I've been on first aid courses in the past and I've had the misfortune to have to use it on a number of occasions. The worst was when a friend of the families young boy was hit by a car. Fortunately I was there and I knew what to do, I hate to think what might have happened if I wasn't there as the ambulance took it's time in getting to us. He's now an adult with a child of his own but it could have been very different.

None of us like to think something like that will happen to us but the reality is it might. We insure our homes and our lives in case something might happen, so why not spend just a few hours to make sure you have the skills to cope in an emergency. Basic, but important first aid skills can be taught in just 3 hours and people like St Johns Ambulance have courses in infant first aid. So think about it people, if the worst were to happen do you really want to rely on dialling 999 and trying to follow instructions from an operator over the phone or would you rather have those skills already and had the chance to practice so you know what you're doing?

Felicity

fac73 wrote: »

Felicity, your story has raised the hairs on the back of my neck - thank goodness you were there and able to act quickly. I cannot imagine how terrifying that must have been.

We too have an AngelCare monitor, without it I don't think I would let DS out of my sight for a second. I agree with you, it is absolutely the most important baby-item we have bought.

I am not wanting a debate but I cannot understand parents who ignore FSIDS advice and put tiny babies into their own rooms at a young age knowing that this doubles the risk of SIDS. My DS is 6 months and I don't plan on evicting him any time soon.

Thanks for the noticeboard tip, genius!

Thanks honey! I feel we are like minded parents!

When are you going to evict your little chap? I said 3 months but he is still with us now and I am thinking when he is 6 months old which is in a few days.

I cant bear the thought of him leaving our room though, mainly due to the cot death thing (I firmly believe that babies listen to our breathing in the night) but also because I just love seeing his little face staring at me in the morning when he wakes me up!

He has just started rolling over too and gets himself into some little scrapes in his cot which I have to sort out so I think I need close by to help him out.

There are so many sleepless nights when your little ones are in with you, but weighed up with the risks of him being elsewhere, I want him near me!

It does make me laugh though when I think about the lengths I went to in order to get his nursery finished before I gave birth! The room is just used for drying laundry now!

Felicity

angel81uk wrote: »

Hi Felicity, I'm so sorry to hear you had such a horrible scare but I'm glad to hear your little boy is still with you and healthy. You're completely right, something that can help save a babies life is so much more important than the extra toys, clothes etc that the money could be spent on.

I'm really glad to hear you went on to take a first aid course. People wouldn't want to leave their child at a nursery or with a nanny who didn't have first aid training but they often don't think of doing some training themselves. Your baby spends much more time in your care than that of someone else so it's just as important that you know what to do in an emergency. Just a few basic skills only take a few hours to learn but they can really make a difference.

I've been on first aid courses in the past and I've had the misfortune to have to use it on a number of occasions. The worst was when a friend of the families young boy was hit by a car. Fortunately I was there and I knew what to do, I hate to think what might have happened if I wasn't there as the ambulance took it's time in getting to us. He's now an adult with a child of his own but it could have been very different.

None of us like to think something like that will happen to us but the reality is it might. We insure our homes and our lives in case something might happen, so why not spend just a few hours to make sure you have the skills to cope in an emergency. Basic, but important first aid skills can be taught in just 3 hours and people like St Johns Ambulance have courses in infant first aid. So think about it people, if the worst were to happen do you really want to rely on dialling 999 and trying to follow instructions from an operator over the phone or would you rather have those skills already and had the chance to practice so you know what you're doing?

I totally agree with you! I kept asking my midwife about first aid courses before I had my little poppet. I was terrified about having a tiny baby in the house and being helpless if anything was to go wrong.

We finally went on the course when he was one month old and it was the best thing we could have done for him. The course was only basic but we now know what to do in an emergency.

My hubby has quite an intensive job but I insisted he took a day off to come along.

Well done you on helping your friend’s child out. Hope the rounds are on them when you are in the pub ... perpetually! As you say, it doesn’t bear thinking about the consequences if you hadn’t of been there!

Thank you for your post, you talk an awful lot of sense and I hope you bring some inspiration to other parents regarding the first aid courses.

daphne_descends

Felicity wrote: »

Thanks honey! I feel we are like minded parents!

When are you going to evict your little chap? I said 3 months but he is still with us now and I am thinking when he is 6 months old which is in a few days.

I cant bear the thought of him leaving our room though, mainly due to the cot death thing (I firmly believe that babies listen to our breathing in the night) but also because I just love seeing his little face staring at me in the morning when he wakes me up!

He has just started rolling over too and gets himself into some little scrapes in his cot which I have to sort out so I think I need close by to help him out.

There are so many sleepless nights when your little ones are in with you, but weighed up with the risks of him being elsewhere, I want him near me!

It does make me laugh though when I think about the lengths I went to in order to get his nursery finished before I gave birth! The room is just used for drying laundry now!

Well, my DS is in my bed so it's a bit harder I'm going to start using the cot more but like you said, I've found that he's rolled over a couple of times and got a bit stuck so I want to wait for his obsession with rolling to fade and he feeds a lot in the night too - definitely before a year though. His room needs decorating so that's my project for the summer!

I too believe that our breathing helps to regulate theirs, they were part of us for 9 months, so of course they are going to be tuned to our movement and bodies and there is nothing better than waking up to that big grin every day. My DS is sleeping now but this has made me want to wake him up just for a cuddle

Angel thanks for your post, you've made me think - I'm going to book myself onto a first aid course as soon as DP can have a morning off. I am first aid trained for adults but that expires this year so I wouldn't want to rely on my poor memory in an emergency. It's only £25 - can't argue with that.

monkey22_2

Our HV ran a first aid course for new mums. It might be worth seeing if yours do one.

angel81uk

Good on you fac, you'll find that having done training for adults you'll already be pretty clued up but as you say it's always worth doing a refresher course.

Also I'd just like to say don't forget about passing on some of that knowledge as your children grow up! There was a tragic case in the news just a few days ago of a pregnant mother who suffered a brain haemorrhage whilst looking after her children at home. Her 3 year old son tried his best by bringing her some calpol to make her better. Her partner returned home to find the boys crying and she died 3 days later in hospital. Please please please teach your children how to dial 999 in an emergency. And once they're old enough they can do some first aid training too. St Johns Ambulance has Badgers, a weekly club for 5 - 10 yr olds which will teach them first aid, how to call the emergency services and what information to give along with information on how to lead a healthy lifestyle, look after pets and lots of fun activities too.

Felicity

fac73 wrote: »

Well, my DS is in my bed so it's a bit harder I'm going to start using the cot more but like you said, I've found that he's rolled over a couple of times and got a bit stuck so I want to wait for his obsession with rolling to fade and he feeds a lot in the night too - definitely before a year though. His room needs decorating so that's my project for the summer!

I too believe that our breathing helps to regulate theirs, they were part of us for 9 months, so of course they are going to be tuned to our movement and bodies and there is nothing better than waking up to that big grin every day. My DS is sleeping now but this has made me want to wake him up just for a cuddle

Angel thanks for your post, you've made me think - I'm going to book myself onto a first aid course as soon as DP can have a morning off. I am first aid trained for adults but that expires this year so I wouldn't want to rely on my poor memory in an emergency. It's only £25 - can't argue with that.

Bless you! We could never have done the co-sleeping as my hubby is a 17 stone rugby player and does not sleep light!

I would love to have tried it and there are so many times when I give my little chap a dream feed that I would love to just cuddle up and go to sleep. I am not the lightest of sleepers though so it was never on the cards!

I am going to try him in his own room I think when he gets round to his 6 month birthday.

I have a very wise health visitor and she told me that our children are born totally dependant upon us and it is our job to decrease that deprendancy. It's a difficult thing to do, a very difficult thing to do!

Felicity

angel81uk wrote: »

Good on you fac, you'll find that having done training for adults you'll already be pretty clued up but as you say it's always worth doing a refresher course.

Also I'd just like to say don't forget about passing on some of that knowledge as your children grow up! There was a tragic case in the news just a few days ago of a pregnant mother who suffered a brain haemorrhage whilst looking after her children at home. Her 3 year old son tried his best by bringing her some calpol to make her better. Her partner returned home to find the boys crying and she died 3 days later in hospital. Please please please teach your children how to dial 999 in an emergency. And once they're old enough they can do some first aid training too. St Johns Ambulance has Badgers, a weekly club for 5 - 10 yr olds which will teach them first aid, how to call the emergency services and what information to give along with information on how to lead a healthy lifestyle, look after pets and lots of fun activities too.

Thats just awful and I am in tears reading about the little boy bringing Calpol.

A very good post. I will teach my little chap when he is old enough.

Thank you!

We have diversified somewhat though and I hope people are getting my message about the baby monitors.

amazamum

My DD(now 8) was born 6 week premature and spent the first 3 weeks of her life on the neonatel department at the local hospital,and was on one of these monitors whilst there,before she was even discharged I went down to mothercare to get one(Johnsons at the time)and she never slept anywhere without it under her.
When she was a couple of months old + OH was at work she was sat in her little chair in the living room while I was in the kitchen when the alarm went off,she has stopped breathing luckily enough the shock of me rushing in and picking her up started her breathing again,a couple of weeks later she did it again when OH was in,It gave us the shock of our lives,she had it on her bed until she was nearly 18 months(wasn't a wriggler).
When DS was born 4 years later,I had already bought a new one and it was already sent up on his cot when he got home,luckily we never had any non breathing episodes with him,he had it on his bed for about the same amount of time.
If I have another child they to will have a new one,I think they are invaluble and would recomend them to anyone as an essential piece of baby equiptment.