Sorry OT (kind of) but need to talk........

AmIdone4?

Hi Red,

Just to say glad your Brother has been found. All the best for you and your family, and my thoughts are with your bro ((((((((wishing him the best))))))))

wherediditallgo

Hi Red,

Just caught up on the news before going to bed - fantastic news!

What's happened will have been a shock to his family & friends, but also to him, & he'll need time to take stock of what's going on in his life. Perhaps he could do a different sort of SOA - a Seek Other Avenues one . By that, I mean he could look at the things that aren't making him happy/happier, instead of looking at what makes him unhappy - the difference in emphasis could help him to look at other ways of doing things to enjoy them more.

Whatever he does, he needs to do at his own pace - it'll be frustrating not to know what's been going on in his head, but it's going to be hard for him to understand that too & be able to explain that to anyone else, especially those he cares about & might be frightened of upsetting more than he thinks he already has. All the best to all of you.

NekoZombie

Hi Red,

sorry I found this thread so late but just to say I'm glad its turned out o.k in the end.

Neko x

Red1708

Just wanted to pop in to say thanks for all the support you all offered me earlier in the week.

My brother finally came home last night (he refused the night earlier and stayed at a friends instead) but to be honest I'm not sure if he'll stay around. He has lost all logical thoughts, cant understand why we were worried or why we called the police, cant understand that sleeping rough for 2 nights may have been dangerous and refuses to admit that he is poorly.

The police visited him on Weds night to confirm his identity then called me to advise me to get him to hospital asap to be assessed by the mental health team, seems they can only help us further if he becomes dangerous to others or if they have any reason to apprehend him while he's in a public place.

As for his debts I completed the online questionnaire on CCCS on his behalf last night and it suggested either a DMP or BR. However, while he is unable to comprehend the results of his actions earlier in the week I think its highly unlikely that he can take on board the implications (good and bad) or the process of either BR or DMP. He hasn't even got a single penny coming in at the moment but wont apply for dole!!

Anyway sorry for rambling, just wanted to say thanks

buddy21_2

Hi red1708. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. I also have a sibling with mental health problems, unable to deal with finances, hearing voices and very good at hiding it so I can appreciate the hell you are going through.

The only advice I can give you at this time is don't neglect your own emotions. Sounds weird but you will be going through every emotion possible at this time, fear, worry, guilt and anger. IT IS OKAY TO FEEL ANGRY AT HIM! This does have an impact on your life as well. I used to feel so guilty when I felt angry at my sister but we are all only human and bottling it up has no benefits for anyone.
I will keep everything crossed that you find your brother very soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and if you ever need to talk I will do my best to be here for you. Take care hun xx

wherediditallgo

Hi Red,

Thanks for the update. Is there any way you could get him to hospital to be assessed? Perhaps you could couch it along the lines of "I don't understand why you did what you did & I hope you don't do it again. I won't stop you leaving if you decide to go again, & I know you think I'm fussing, but could you do me a favour & come with me to let the hospital check you over? That way, I'll feel better if you decide you want some time to yourself again".

Community Mental Health Teams are usually linked to a hospital that can provide psychiatric care. They often have duty teams open 24 hours day, who offer a walk-in clinic to people & he doesn't need to be referred by a GP or any other medical professional. They'll talk to him, allow him to talk about what's bothering him, & maybe he'll be given a prescription or asked if he'd be happy to stay in hospital as an informal patient for a short time. You could also have your name put on his file as "nearest relative" or "next of kin", which would then allow you to be kept up-to-date on what's happening with him & express any concerns you have to the medical team.

Red1708

We've tried to ask him to go to hospital. When he was poorly a few years ago we managed to get him to hospital so is known to the crisis team linked to the hospital but he refused at the time to take any medication.. However he refuses to go to hospital as he says he's not ill this time but just needed some space. I've said that I can understand him needing space but the fact that he didn't so much as send us a text message or leave a note is worrying. He is totally paranoid though and very vacant so even if he hadn't gone missing I know that he is poorly again. It seems however that unless he is classed as being dangerous to others then the professionals can't just step in and they need his permission to act.

tigerfeet2006

Just want to send you some (((hugs))) Red and say I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers