Daily Chat Thread! April 8th-2008

Burlesque_Babe

afternoon all!

Back from work and the sun is shining.

OH could sense I was rather erm, p'd off last night 'are you wanting an argument, or what?' to quote him so I told him (calmy and rationally!!) I was tired of every aspect of our relationship being about him, when it suited him, where it suited him and me having to wait for him to be ready, when it was then usually very inconvenient and so he just shrugs and gives up, just for the cycle to start again.

I said that just a bit of thought about me and a tiny bit of planning in his life would mean that every thing he is involved in doesn't end up with him (metaphorically) backed into a corner and everyone (including me) being so sick of the situation that he always comes out 'fighting' and on the offensive.

I said I was tired of not doing something he felt I 'should' be doing and being barked at, but if I do it, then it wasn't how he wanted it, so getting barked at again and then it being re-done (mostly related to furniture moving so he can finally get on with decorating the spare bedroom - the carpet has only been in storage at the shop for 7 months now.....)

I re-counted him telling me what I 'should' be doing yesterday morning and he had only just crawled out of bed and he denied saying it...

He denied all knowledge of what I was on about, said he thought it was me on the offensive and basically gave me a 'no flies on me' shrug.......

I give up........:rolleyes:

Next life - I'm going to be a nun or a lesbian.

Much less hassle, I reckon!!!!!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

Bunnyinthelights

One of my best friends is a lesbian and she had the same problems hunny...

I think if someone is a wuckfit, they are that regardless of gender...

LouiseJ

keren29 wrote: »

afternoon all!

Back from work and the sun is shining.

OH could sense I was rather erm, p'd off last night 'are you wanting an argument, or what?' to quote him so I told him (calmy and rationally!!) I was tired of every aspect of our relationship being about him, when it suited him, where it suited him and me having to wait for him to be ready, when it was then usually very inconvenient and so he just shrugs and gives up, just for the cycle to start again.

I said that just a bit of thought about me and a tiny bit of planning in his life would mean that every thing he is involved in doesn't end up with him (metaphorically) backed into a corner and everyone (including me) being so sick of the situation that he always comes out 'fighting' and on the offensive.

I said I was tired of not doing something he felt I 'should' be doing and being barked at, but if I do it, then it wasn't how he wanted it, so getting barked at again and then it being re-done (mostly related to furniture moving so he can finally get on with decorating the spare bedroom - the carpet has only been in storage at the shop for 7 months now.....)

I re-counted him telling me what I 'should' be doing yesterday morning and he had only just crawled out of bed and he denied saying it...

He denied all knowledge of what I was on about, said he thought it was me on the offensive and basically gave me a 'no flies on me' shrug.......

I give up........:rolleyes:

Next life - I'm going to be a nun or a lesbian.

Much less hassle, I reckon!!!!!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

Ah Keren sending you a :kisses3: Hun.

It sounds to me as though he has a serious problem with accepting responsibility which is evident in his recations to your concerns.

It is easier to play the "Don't know what you are going on about/blowing things out of proportion" card than to actually face and accept that there is a problem and it may be his own doing , he is not going to take any blame and this is a sign of emotional immaturity.

Unfortunatelly it is very difficult to sort problems out with this type of person unless he is commited to the relationship and really wants it to work, and then its a high probability that you would be putting in the lions share of the work anyway.

If you want to have a chance for your relationship to work with this man you are going to have to make him listen and take responsibility other wise i dont think he will ever change his behaviour.

Burlesque_Babe

I also told him I was tired of being told what I 'should' and 'shouldn't' be doing, what and where I 'should' or 'shouldn't' be working (he has a bit of a thing about me still doing AQA part time even though it is supporting half my monthly income) and what I 'should' or 'shouldn't' be spending my money on.

Anything I buy that he sees arrive in the post (usually something second hand from ebay or a present for my family , often with pigsback vouchers or something similar) I get 'spending your money again?'.

I told him that I never went out, I had no social life and I didn't need to be told what to spend my money on - his only contribution is £65-£70 a month on food and it took me a couple of years to get him to commit to that.

The reply was 'oh yeah, well look at the mess you got yourself into the last time'. I replied that I had learnt from that, and he just laughed said I hadn't. I said that I had, because I had changed my habits and the feelings and things that in the past that had made me spend were no longer there.

Oddly, that shut him up!

Louise - you have hit the nail 100% on the head. He has always avoided responsibility in lots of aspects of his life, nothing is every his fault - ever, and at 49, I feel he is often like a teenager.

Burlesque_Babe

Anyway, I'll stop ranting and rambling now!!!

Queen.Bess

Hi everybody - hope you're all well today!

Well, following on from my message yesterday, we got the confirmation that we're relocating 30 miles away in August - a lot sooner than we thought! I don't really want to go, but whilst there are no other jobs available, I'd better suffer the train for the time being! It means I'll have to get my backside into gear a bit better in the mornings!

Ellidee

[quote=Toto;10002327__Anyway,_after_the_birth_I_had_a_male_midwife_come_in_to_stitch_me_up._he_was_down_there_for_ages_humming_away,_then_suddenly_he_popped_his_head_up_and_said,_just_think,_i_could_bump_into_you_in_tesco_next_week_:eek:[/quote]

When I had ds a male Doctor stitched me up. He was literally sat between my legs at the end of the bed, my feet were in stirrups and I was soooo embarrassed. So I says to him ' Are you good at embroidery ? ' and he looked at the nurse, who was watching, as if to say we've go a right one here !

floss2

keren29 wrote: »

..... what and where I 'should' or 'shouldn't' be working (he has a bit of a thing about me still doing AQA part time even though it is supporting half my monthly income) ......... his only contribution is £65-£70 a month on food and it took me a couple of years to get him to commit to that........

Keren,

If he coughed up a reasonable amount to cover what it costs for him to eat your food / use your facilities, then you probably wouldn't need to AQA as much, except to top up your savings account - anyway, what's business is it of his - he won't make a committment to you, so why should you cut your income because he wants you to? Will he make up the difference? Personally, I think not.... and I think that you are better off without his drain on your household expenditure, and without his unhlepful comments about what you do & when. It is YOUR home (sorry to shout!) so you should do what you want to do. When he makes a fair contribution, then he can have a fair say on what you do - as long as you get the same.

:grouphug:

Floss xx

P.S. sorry if that reads a bit strong - I know you do AQA for yourself, not just the financial benefits xx

floss2

Ellidee wrote: »

When I had ds a male Doctor stitched me up. He was literally sat between my legs at the end of the bed, my feet were in stirrups and I was soooo embarrassed. So I says to him ' Are you good at embroidery ? ' and he looked at the nurse, who was watching, as if to say we've go a right one here !

When I had DS1, the junior Dr who stitched me up did not believe me or the nurse that the anaesthetic hadn't had time to work, until I almost hit the roof & swore like a navvy as he stuck the needle in......I don't think he'd heard words like them before :rotfl: :rotfl:

jacs76

keren29 wrote: »

afternoon all!

Back from work and the sun is shining.

OH could sense I was rather erm, p'd off last night 'are you wanting an argument, or what?' to quote him so I told him (calmy and rationally!!) I was tired of every aspect of our relationship being about him, when it suited him, where it suited him and me having to wait for him to be ready, when it was then usually very inconvenient and so he just shrugs and gives up, just for the cycle to start again.

I said that just a bit of thought about me and a tiny bit of planning in his life would mean that every thing he is involved in doesn't end up with him (metaphorically) backed into a corner and everyone (including me) being so sick of the situation that he always comes out 'fighting' and on the offensive.

I said I was tired of not doing something he felt I 'should' be doing and being barked at, but if I do it, then it wasn't how he wanted it, so getting barked at again and then it being re-done (mostly related to furniture moving so he can finally get on with decorating the spare bedroom - the carpet has only been in storage at the shop for 7 months now.....)

I re-counted him telling me what I 'should' be doing yesterday morning and he had only just crawled out of bed and he denied saying it...

He denied all knowledge of what I was on about, said he thought it was me on the offensive and basically gave me a 'no flies on me' shrug.......

I give up........:rolleyes:

Next life - I'm going to be a nun or a lesbian.

Much less hassle, I reckon!!!!!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

you know what i think :mad: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr@him:mad:

you carry on doing what you're doing keren , be happy and carry on being lovely, if he doesn't appreciate you then fook him

remind him that a woman might appreciate you more :rotfl: