Those with 3 or more kids

spacedog

don't think the age gap will make much difference, they'll fight with or without one there are 2 yrs between me and my first sis, 8 between me and me second sis and 16 between me and my brother. fought with sis1 for years (friends most of the time now) swapped back and forth a bit with sis2 but friends for a few years now and little bro got lots of baby sitting from me, practice for later life i guess. no planning from mum at all :P

smileypigface

I'd just say watch out where it will end ... I met a lovely lady the other day who has 6 children because she fell for the 3rd one accidentally, then wanted to even up the numbers ... and so it went on until she had 6!!!! :eek:

hobo28

I am the eldest child in our family. I have a half sister with a good 17 year gap between us.

Growing up we were not close at all. In fact I moved out when she was a baby to go to Uni and pretty much never came back (to live). I would have to say though that as the youngest she's not had it too bad. The advantage for her is/was that she's had two much older siblings to call on if she needed help. So for example when she was 15 and her parents wouldn't help her with her birthday party it was muppet here who stepped in and risked getting his faced kicked in by a load of pimply faced teenagers! She also had someone to talk to who could understand what she was going through with her parents and the experience of how I got around things! Ie. Dad won't let me do this!

The downside is that she always felt she had a lot to live up to and I do worry about her from that respect. She grew up believing my sister and I were the model kids, respectful, polite, studious and now both have fab jobs. My dad and my step mum kinda forgot to mention the bits where I was dragged home because I was too drunk to walk, suspended from school for smuggling alcohol on a school trip and my sister at 14 going out with a bloke 10 years older than her!!!

So my tuppence worth is that its swings and roundabouts. Sure they may be lonlier but when they're older they will get more help/advice and once they are an adult the age gap ceases to matter really.

Spendless

My only sibling is 7 years younger than me and I always felt the age gap meant we had little in common. For this reason I wanted a smaller age gap between my kids. I would have hated sharing a bedroom with my sister, but that's my view. I know of other mse'rs who have had a bigger gap between their kids cos they disliked the small gap between them and their siblings.

Is it a 4 bed house you have? Could you not put the youngest 2 in together for the first few years? I agree that if you use a car, you're either going to have to upgrade, or have a car each or use public transport as you're not going to get them all in a standard 5 seater car.

Mary_Hartnell

These are the risks; I speak from personal experience of a neighbour's family; where the the female involved got divorced, remarried, "cemented" the new union by producing "little Johnnie", as step brother to three teenagers.

Like the "little emperors" in China, where the statutory single child tends to be male, it is not healthy for a child of either sex to become too much the centre of attention.

Make sure the youngest gets plenty of opportunities to play and bond with children its own age, or the problems may emerge in adolescence, more so than usual;)

One practical thought, if you own your own house and have not got an enforceable covenant on it, you are allowed to build some pretty high spec "sheds" in the garden - you are not supposed to sleep in them more than 28 days per year, but who is counting. Could give chill out space in times of stress.

vixarooni

kr15snw wrote: »

Vix : This is where I differ. My brothers had NO hot friends!!

I was highly dissapointed!!!

Ha, i feel totally sorry for you there! Brothers always had hot friends. Even the brother of my then sister in law was hot and he had hot friends too.

Ive obviously just been lucky!

Cornishpixie_2

Hi, I had 2 boys then had a 3rd always fancied 3 kids, anyway turned out to be a girl. Intended to stop there, and ordered hubby to have snip(which he didn't get around to), had sex just the once without protection and I got pregnant with 4th child a boy.:eek: 3 years between him and DD,he adores her. We had to move house, buy a people carrier, I dropped hours at work (now given up work too much of a strain, so financially not brilliant), we also had to build an extension for us to sleep in. I personally wouldn't have another child as 3rd child will make their own friends and enjoy time on their own with parent's when others at school and out doing other things. esp. if OH not keen may put strain on things. I found it hard initially to adjust to having another child, but got there in the end. Hope this helps:D 9 Yrs between my youngest brother and I he wasn't planned and now at 30 still lives at home with my mother:eek: :eek:

3KIDSNOMONEY

i have just had my 4th, he is now 4 weeks old. i have 2 daughters 11 and 9 and two sons, the other being 5. We live in a 3 bed semi and have a car which has seats in the boot. The house is too small and even when we are all in the car there is no room for anything else. It is hard, an 11 year old doesn't want to do the same things as a toddler. I wouldn't have another child just for the sake of the youngest, but if it is what you want then go for it. If we wanted easy lives we wouldn't have children would we?

I can't give my kids all the things that their friends who are only children have. I don't always have time to do everything they want me to do and we don't have lots of money.

dora37

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

i have just had my 4th,

Congratulations :T................are you going to change your user name?

3KIDSNOMONEY

thanks dora37 - i should really change my user name, probably to 4kidsandevenlessmoney!