Depression Support Thread

meyore

rose07 wrote: »

are you ok hun?

(((((((hugs))))))))

xxxxxxxxx

Thanks rose. How are you doing? Was it you I added on myspace the other day...if not I've been making friends with strangers

meyore

TangledMemories wrote: »

Hi All,

Sorry not posted for a while. Been a hectic week.
Back at doc's in the morning seeing as my sick note runs out tomorrow night. Don't honestly feel ready for work mentally or physically. This virus still feels as though it's in my system. One minute I'm ok, the next I'm absolutely exhausted. Feel so overwhelmed by the slightest thing.
Spoke to my manager at work and she is being brilliant about it all. She's said if I need to chat, to just ring her

My mum and younger twin brothers are coming over from the Isle of Man on Saturday and I'm looking forward to it, but then again I'm not because I have to address the issue of a debt I paid off for my mum

I've started with what I think are panic attacks too. Had to speak to RBS the other day and when I got on the phone to them I started shaking, felt my chest tightening and my mouth went really dry. Just feel like I'm losing the plot.

Hi there, I'm not sure we've met...forgive me if we have, my memory is shot to pieces at the moment to be honest That does sound like panic attacks, or at least how they are when I get them. Hope things go well at the doctors tomorrow and things start looking up a bit

Xx

Sazbo

meyore wrote: »

Well, maybe it wasn't so much silly as not wanting anyone to read it and think that stuff about me. You're a star to me, you know that?
Xx

Angel, no one judges anyone on here; that's the deal:) I hope I'm right in saying that whatever anyone needs to post is going to be accepted with open arms. Bless your heart hun, but you're the real star.

Sx

Sazbo

rose07 wrote: »

I agree with sazzie meyore, hope your ok

How r u tonight Sazzie?

take care

xx

I'm doing ok thanks hun, sweet of you to ask. Life is full of surprises, but in a good way at the moment:)

Always nice to see you posting rose. Take care.

Much love,
Sazzy xxxxxxxx

meyore

Sazbo wrote: »

Angel, no one judges anyone on here; that's the deal:) I hope I'm right in saying that whatever anyone needs to post is going to be accepted with open arms. Bless your heart hun, but you're the real star.

Sx

Thanks again saz I don't even think I can put it into words now. The stupid thing is I had a brilliant weekend, been away, stayed in a local hotel on Friday, which was the most amazing place ever. Then yesterday we went on a trip to Weston Super Mare, stayed the night in a weirdy place and went on the pier and won a toy donkey. Its just coming back to this place I hate it. The real world does kind of suck. My mum suffers from depression and she doesn't look after herself sometimes and today I just wasn't handling it at all.

Xx

LadyMorticia

rose07 wrote: »

Hi hun

How are you doing today?

I'm doing ok-ish. I'm surviving. Feel really weak and lethargic though. I'm hoping that it goes by tomorrow as I have to pick up a prescription from the doctor. How are you doing?

I like ebay, I used to be addicted to that site farrr too much, that’s when I found this site lol

Nice yellow dress btw, will be lovely for these summer months ahead.

I'm addicted to Ebay and MSE.lol. Oh and deviantART. A lot of my clothes come from Ebay and charity shops as I love bargains and I have a lot of clothes that are rare and I've never seen anyone else with them.

Ok im going to try and show ya some of my artwork, I do videos, paintings, poems/lyrics, some digital stuff and photography, also have my own website, which im tryna update.

Ok here is a couple of my videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkLyKqb4IjM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX_hzVy7JUg

Paintings are too big too post lol

Your videos are awesome. I really love them. I hope you don't mind but I added you as a friend on Youtube. I have a video that I made just over a year ago. It's about labels and stereotyping. It's not that good but here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_MyAs4t5Z8

It's a shame about now being able to post the paintings, but I'm sure they are beautiful.

Sometimes theres only soo much the professionals can do, it is good that you know that its you that needs to put the work in,. Makes perfect sense what you say hun, I know numberous times ive felt like your just fighting and climbing, but ya don’t feel like your getting anywhere, I could it being stuck in the mud, as much as you struggle you just cant get free. But you will eventually, guess time is the key, and perserverance.

I know I need to help myself and I am trying so hard but I also know that I need support and help with it. I know what would really help me again but I have trouble communicating my needs sometimes. It's like I know what I need but I can't tell people what I need? I think what I really need is a CPN again. I had my first one when I was 11 and I saw him until I was 15-16. Then I had my second one when I was 18 and she discharged me at 20 because she was changing jobs, even though I told her I didn't feel ready to be discharged. It felt like she just didn't want to deal with the paperwork of handing my case over to someone else. I saw her the other month for an assessment and it was like she was looking down on me. We don't really get on and I made that clear to my doctor and my doctor said I don't have to see her again. It's not just me who doesn't get on with her though. I know a few people who don't too.
I'm too stubborn to give up.lol.

Your definitely got determination in you, with your studies, and if you have it there, you can put your determination into other things too. I got a RS certificate, cant remember why, sooo long ago lol. I got certificates for most promising, and best student, gives you a great sense of achievement. Indeed anything is possible.

I've always been a conscientious person. Not many people know but I am a published poet. I've been published 9 times so far in books and magazines. I still have all my certificates somewhere, and letters from publishers etc. I'm not boasting or anything. It's just that writing has always been a big part of my life. It's what I love.
I take pride in my school reports.lol. I have them all. From nursery right up to year 12.
You sound a lot like me. All my teachers said that I had a bright promising future and was a top student. Mr little (my music and form teacher) wrote on my blouse on yr 11 leaving day "You are a star that I know will continue to shine".lol. I really miss school.

Yes someone said a similair thing to me, about if someone is abused they will abuse themselves, I don’t necessarily agree, I think different people have different ways of releasing their pain. Some may release it into others, but I agree with you, I would never hurt a child or abuse them, I think children are a blessing.

I don't think there is a long line of abuse in my family. My mum wasn't abused or anything. My uncle was sent to boarding school and my auntie was put into care at 6 days old. My ex auntie (I say ex because her and my uncle got divorced) is a closet alcoholic. My cousin was in care as a baby and then went into care again at 15. My half sister on my dad's side was abused as a baby, taken in care and then adopted at 7-8 years old. It's like my family is screwed up.lol. Sometimes I wonder how I turned out so differently. I was told that I would have a learning disability but I don't. I was told I would have a personality identical to my mum but I am nothing like her. When I was younger I used to think I was adopted.lol.

My great nana was like my hero when I was little. I loved her more than anything, but she died when I was 3 years old. I still remember her though. What she looked like, how she smelt, everything. She used to sit me on her lap and feed me banana and custard. I miss her.

Pets, well weve had, hens, ducks, he sweetest thing are the chicks,yes the goat was interesting, I was only a wee thing, but yeah, was interesting, we also had a cat but it got ran over, and my goldfish died. Awww your mate is lovely to say she will get you a cat, gives you a reason to work hard.

Interesting pets. My friend is amazing. She has BPD like me so she understands what it's like and why I sometimes feel like I do.

Its good you feel safer now, shame your family know where you are, but as you say they aren’t the sort to get a train down, I will jump at almost anything, I jumped on the bus when a guy was closing the window, ive taken to sitting up the top of a bus now, dunno why, coz its where all the school kids are lol Don’t worry hun, I have a fcked up family too, strange some things family do, when there meant to be there and protect you and help you grow.

Ok im gonna keep saying it. ........Its not your fault, Its not your fault, Its not your fault,. Lol

Keep up the fight
Anytime hun, and lotsa love and huggles to you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

People laugh at me when I jump, or they try to make me jump on purpose. They see it as a joke but it really hurts my feelings, as I hate to be this jumpy person.

School kids scare me. I feel really intimidated by them.:( Some of them are so abusive in the street though. I get the whole "Go slit your wrists, you goth" thing. I know it shouldn't hurt but it does because I do sh.

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

P.s Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

LadyMorticia

Has anyone ever lost someone who they loved but it was many years ago but every day they still get very upset about it?
Maybe I just haven't grieved. I don't know.
I don't feel normal....

xx

Sazbo

meyore wrote: »

Thanks again saz I don't even think I can put it into words now. The stupid thing is I had a brilliant weekend, been away, stayed in a local hotel on Friday, which was the most amazing place ever. Then yesterday we went on a trip to Weston Super Mare, stayed the night in a weirdy place and went on the pier and won a toy donkey. Its just coming back to this place I hate it. The real world does kind of suck. My mum suffers from depression and she doesn't look after herself sometimes and today I just wasn't handling it at all.

Xx

Well that's a lot for you to have cope with. But you need to think of yourself too. What you need is just as real as what other people need xx

Sxx

Tulip

:hello: everyone,

I had a nice bath and washed my hair,going to sleep soon as I am so tired.I have had a good day.Nothing much on tv tonight.

Getting used to the laptop now and its keyboard.

*hugs* to those that need one


love and light,


Katie xxx

LadyMorticia

Heya Katie.

Glad you had a nice bath. I found a way to give my hair more volume and make it appear thicker. Just whip my head upside down and blow dry. No more flat roots for me.lol. I know that was random but I just felt the need to tell someone.lol.

xx