Any old style 'stay at home' mums on here?

FairyElephant_2

sb44 wrote: »

I am a SAH mum of 46 with an eight year old.

Started work at 17, was never out of work, always had a job to go to before I left the last one and did a spell in the RAF which was my ambition as a teenager.

Gave up work when I was 37 to have our daughter and haven't gone back.

I still feel like I am skiving sometimes and think that people think we must be living off benefits which we aren't. Child benefit and working tax credit, which is a pittance but we manage on that after my husband has paid all of the bills out of his salary.

I just say that I was working for 20 years without a break whereas some have children very early (it wasn't by choice that I was an older mum) and have done things back to front.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! sb44!!! You have made me feel better!

I was really hoping to be a SAHM - I too have worked full time since 18, and now I'm 38 - still trying to be a mummy now via fertility treatment. I had a really great (but v.stressful & long hours) job, but when I was made redundant I deliberately took a lower paid & less stressful one so we could concentrate on TTC.

I just spent the w/e with my best mate who has a LO (& lives a bit far away from me now)- she went back to work after 6 months & has just changed to better paid management post. She was telling me how she could never stay at home as she needs the stimulation of work, challenges & adult conversation, and how her LO enjoys being with other kids at nursery and at the childminders, and I can see for myself that he is very bright & intelligent, and 'way beyond his age' in vocabulary etc. so I was wondering if my desire to be a SAHM was really being selfish, and starting to feel a but guilty....and I'm not even confirmed PG this time yet! (lost my last 'little angels' at Xmas, next test later in the week....).

We could just about manage financially as I've been very careful over the last few years, but I started to be concerned that it might be very lonely as pretty much all my friends have returned to work, even those that were SAHM, as they have teenage kids now. Did you find any problems being an 'older mum' staying at home?

FE

sistercas

when mine were younger I would have loved to b a SAHM but we couldnt afford it and ended up going back to work much too soon. Now they are older 12 +14 I love being at work whilst DH ( who is a teacher and home in the hols) has to deal with the constant bickering and fights:rotfl:
I have been lucky that I could get time off to go to sports day and plays etc (still do that now) so dont feel I have missed out. I am at home to see them off to school and home in time for them coming in so I am really lucky

painted_lady

I went back to work in April after 12 months maternity leave. I work 3 days a week term time only. I have noticed how clingy he has got since I finished for the summer holiday. I wish I could be a SAHM.
I am on an excellent contract and therefore dont wont to leave. I would be on about half the pay if I left and got a similar job in a few years time.

pigpen

thriftlady wrote: »

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have only been in paid employment for 4 years of my entire life:o

That is 4 years longer than I have!! So why be ashamed??

cherrypie556

Hi girls, im a sahm to 4 kids, one in FT school and another going FT in Nov. Dh works for himself and i've just got a PT night job in a residential home to bring in bit of extra money. I also work for the Bodyshop at HOme which gets me out earning some pennies. I haven't work since i had my 1st lo 6 yrs ago and love staying at home!

boredjellybean

hi there - I am pretty new to this forum & have just discovered this thread - I am a SAHM I have two daughters aged 5 & 7 who are both at school full time, I am also expecting bubs no.3 in January

bjb

Purple_Sparkles

I love being a SAHM my son has just turned 10 and I wouldn't change it for the world.

My ex husband basically forced me to go back to work when my son was 6 months old and I managed to stick it out for about 18 months but I became so depressed that I gave work up to become SAHM full time.

I split with my ex when my son was about 3 and I moved back to the Midlands, where I did start work but having no back up and only 1 childminder available etc... I ended up giving up work again. It was so difficult trying to balance work and not having any back up/support as regards childcare that it was impossible to keep a job, employers are not really supportive when you've just started work and then your child gets chickenpox etc...

I'm now self employed and work part-time but I work from home so I get the best of both worlds, it's the best I may not be rich but I'm very happy with my lot and my son and I have a fantastic relationship, I wouldn't change it for the world.

OrkneyStar

I have been a SAHM since DS was born in June 2007, don't plan to return to work until (at least) he is at school. DH is not well paid, but we have no debts (touch wood :rolleyes:) and the mortgage is not too high, so with careful budgetting we manage. I think the role of a SAHM is very undervalued, even as the kids get older, and say three cheers for those who do it well :T .

Chipps

I was a SAHM for 25 years, leaving work when 6 months preg with DD, and doing a few part time jobs when money was really tight, but never for very long. We home educated our 2 boys (one for 5 years, the other for 10) and when the "baby" started work, I had a couple of months of having the house to myself all day but then decided to see if I was employable, so went to an agency to see about temping. I have been working full-time (temping but long term for one company most of that time) since last November.

Plusses and minuses of being a SAHM? Well, I wouldn't have missed being with my kids for the world! So that's a big plus. It was really important for me to be there for them. And I liked the freedom to plan my own day.

The downside of course, was lack of money. My DH is on quite a low income, so I needed to be OS to make ends meet. Since I have been working (in paid employment!!!) it has been so nice to be able to go out for a meal, for example, without having to count every penny or wonder what to do without instead. And I have bought NEW clothes!!

This year it has been very useful for me to be earning, as our 2 eldest children got married - within 9 days of each other!

I am enjoying being out in the workplace, but would not have done it unless there was an extremeemergency when the children were younger. And it is really helping us now that prices are going up. Also after such a long time counting every penny it is nice to not have to struggle so much.

But if a part time job came up, giving me the opportunity to be at home again, at least for some of the week, would I take it? You bet!

thriftmonster

I was a Sahm for 3 years - I'm doing 10 hrs a week now and enjoying it - but my employer is soooo flexible about the school hols - I can work at home a bit and move my hours around. I had always worked to 2004 part time but at the end it got very difficult - I know there was at least one time I sent ds2 into school when he wasn't fit - and schools aren't always the most sympathetic places to work, funnily enough.

What I do find is I love Thurs ( I work on Mon, Weds & Fri) and generally play golf on Tues - but Thurs is "my" day. But when I didn't work at all - I didn't appreciate Tues and |Thurs as much.