Any old style 'stay at home' mums on here?

Irishmummyof2

I have been a SAHM for the last 7 years, my youngest has just gone into nursery and will be going into 2pm from September and i thought of getting a job.
I went as far as job applications and an interview where i was offered the job but when we sat down and worked it all out we were only one hundred pound a week better off but it meant that i would never see my hubby as i would be doing evening shifts from 6-11pm and he works full time during the day.
We decided that it's not worth the extra money but instead of a nice home, nice meals and a good family life.

Kaz2904

I wish I was a SAHM. I'd love to be able to do that but I've always been the breadwinner.
I had to go onto nights when we decided we needed to move into a house. We couldn't afford to double the mortgage and pay a childminder too. We'd not really thought about my wages going up too so we overpay the mortgage. It's been a real hard slog and DS is off to school in September. I will stay on nights though for the time being because it's easier- if either of them are ill then I'm at home, I can pick them up in the afternoon etc.
The real downside of my job is that I don't get much time with DH. We have loads of work to do to the house and don't get a chance to do it often enough. Even if I worked dayshifts though, I would still have to work weekends and unsocial hours and at least 1 week of nights each month. So we may as well put up with it until we've paid off the mortgage and I can look for another job. I have thought about starting all over again with more kids but I think the age gap would be too big and I don't think I'd be any better at 35!

Angelina-M

I don't work and my youngest is sixteen!

I lost my darling daughter to a teenage cancer after a four year battle. I now do exactly as I please. Life is too short for regret.

I gave up my job when the kids were young and did other stuff to 'earn back' my wages. I'm so grateful I did this now so I could spend all my time with my kids, of course I didnt know what was around the corner.

I didn't have time for my brain to turn to mush as I was always dreaming up new recipes for the things I found in the reduced counter or making soaps and body care for the family. When the kids started school I did a computer degree.

People should do whatever is right for them and stuff all the 'lady of leisure' comments.

Don't lie on your bed when you are ninety five and wish you had done things differently. Gosh I'm being deep today

Spendless

kippers wrote: »

Are any of you Old Style housewifes (with children that are school age)?..and do you love it and what are the advantages/disadvantages?

Do you think your family is happier because you are there for them and how do you cope money wise? Do you get people passing comments that you are lazy and how do you cope with this?

I'm a SAHM to 2 school aged kids since dd went to f-time school last September. I would like to have a part-time job, but due to dh's work committments this year it made more sense to us for me to stop at college so I am off when the children are. I love that Imy days are free for me to say go shopping, or call on a friend, or tackle a large household task.

Disadvantages for me is lack of adult conversation, but I do 2 college courses a week to combat that.

thriftlady_2

Spendless wrote: »

Disadvantages for me is lack of adult conversation, but I do 2 college courses a week to combat that.

That can be a problem, and when all 3 of mine are at secondary school I won't have the playground chat to keep me stimulated, another reason I'm glad I'm doing my French course.


The best thing about being a housewife is being able to choose how to spend your day as Spendless says -doing a major household or garden job, cooking , grocery-shopping, seeing my mum, going to the library....

suzywoozy_3

I home educate my children, 11, 10 and 6. So I am a SAHM but have the children around too. Actually atm, hubby works 4 days and i do 2 half days. I hate doing those two half days and when my contract ends in July I'm not looking for anything else.

Regarding lack of brain stimulation. When my oldest was born we moved house and left the TV behind. To fill the gap I started listening to Radio 4. I have learnt so much more from this than I ever did from school or university (like Thriftlady I was a teacher - hated it mostly, I only managed 3 years mostly p/t before I gave it up). It has such a diversity of programs there is always something new to learn - and you can listen while you do the dishes, although i mostly listen to The Archers then. I also do short courses in things I would never have thought about doing before, Gregorian chanting and felt making being two of the more unusual. In our locality they do fairly cheap courses in rural areas and I tend to do these.

FrankieM

Hi,
I don't work and my children are 14, 13,10 &9. I love not working, I don't feel the need to go to work at all..!!
I tend to go visiting and so get to have adult conversation that way. My DH works from home so we tend to talk alot too!!

lilmisskitkat

I've never had a 'real' job in my life I was pregnant with DD when i left school and worked a couple of part time jobs when she was little, plus did 3 yrs at college on different courses but at the moment i'm not doing anything apart from being a mum and housewife.

I'm perfectly happy doing what i do, i've never been a 'career' person and a job would just be a job to pay the bills but luckily OH earns enough to cover everything we need. I have Fibromyalgia which is unpredictable so i would have trouble holding down a job and really, for the amount of hours i could manage, then paying for childcare i very much doubt i'd come away with anything Anyway, i want to be there seeing baby grow up and be there for when DD comes home from school.

It annoys me that people think i'm lazy for being at home, its ok now that i'm pregnant again but when DD started school and everyone was like "Oh you can get a job now" i felt really stupid because i had no intention of doing that. Instead i did 2 afternoons a week voluteering for a communtiy regeneration project for a while, doing the admin and also made sure i volunteered for every school trip, fair, cake sale etc to keep me occupied.

By being o/s i try to 'earn back' the money we would have if i worked but tbh i dont think my OH thinks what i do is that important I do think sometimes he would prefer me to be working and bringing in a wage so we could have some of the extras that his brother and wife have because they both work. He doesn't see that we wouldn't be any better off and that i save money by being O/S to make up for what i dont earn. And also, seeing as he does nothing to help at all he'd still expect our homelife to stay the same ie. decent meals on the table, clean, ironed clothes, house tidy, kids seen to - with me doing that plus a job and trying to work it all around my illness. Sorry slightly off topic there, theres a lot going on at the moment and i'm just feeling totally alone and unsupported

Kate xxx

Loom

I'm new at this 'posting comments thing' and never feel confident enough speak out but.......... reading some comments about how bad some mums feel for 'not working' or getting 'lazy' comments, just made me want to say, Being a mum is a full time job in itself and hardwork sometimes but very rewarding and our little ones are not little for long so if you can stay at home do it and dont feel bad



'Parents hold their children's hands a while and their hearts forever'

ravylesley

I am a SAHM mum of four and stopped working after going on Maternity Leave with Baby 2.The eldest two are at school and yd starts this September and ys next September and then it'll be empty nest syndrome for me.I do toy with returning to work when they are all at school but my employment options are severely limited as I wouldnt want to work during school holidays as the cost of childcare for 4 would be outrageous so its either a dinner lady or a school crossing patrol .I love being at home full time but it can be quite hard but so much nicer than the drab 9-5pm

Lesleyxx