When do CSA payments stop

pinkpig08

As has been mentioned in another similar thread, most NRPs don't intend to stop financially supporting the child at 18 or 19, just the way in which it is done. They don't want to be in the clutches of the CSA. When I was 18 I had a part time job as well as being a student. I lived with my mum and dad but there were no rules which said they must contribute X amount of money per week for me. If I wanted clothes then I bought my own from my wages. I don't see why it should be different just because the parents are seperated.

KIRSYJ

Just for the record, this child was brought up by Mother and her husband (whom she married when baby was 6 months old!) for 14 years as they didn't want my OH involved in his life, for the sake of the child and perhaps himself who knows my OH moved on, they even went so far as to ask him to let her husband adopt him when he was small as he was his dad, only for them to find out that maintainence would stop, hence at the court, signing the papers pulled out! sorry if I appear to be totally unsupportive of this situation but I have lived with this situation for 13 years and believe me I have been more than supportive. Please bear in mind that there are always more sides to a story and who would appreciate a 6ft tall drugged up teenager and pals on her doorstop in the middle of the night demanding cash as his mum and dad had split up. Whilst I totally agree with all the comments made for what a child needs etc the Mother had made it perfectly clear on numerous occasions that my OH had no part other than financial in his life. Begining to wish I had never asked the question!

KIRSYJ

Just for the record, this child was brought up by Mother and her husband (whom she married when baby was 6 months old!) for 14 years as they didn't want my OH involved in his life, for the sake of the child and perhaps himself who knows my OH moved on, they even went so far as to ask OH to let her husband adopt him when he was small as he was his dad, only for them to find out that maintainence would stop, hence at the court, signing the papers pulled out! sorry if I appear to be totally unsupportive of this situation but I have lived with this situation for 13 years and believe me I have been more than supportive. Please bear in mind that there are always more sides to a story and who would appreciate a 6ft tall drugged up teenager and pals on her doorstop in the middle of the night demanding cash as his mum and dad had split up whilst I totally agree with all the comments made for what a child needs etc the Mother had made it perfectly clear on numerous occasions that my OH had no part other than financial in his life. Begining to wish I had never asked the question!:o

kittiej

I sometimes think there 's too much molly-coddling going on these days with kids.

I had to go out and make my own way in the world at 18, my OH was even younger.

The OP asked a legitimate question and I don't think some of the other comments were helpful really.

Parenting is down to the individual and should be left at that since there are so many senarios from children being born into a marriage to children being conceived in a one night stand.

Please be nice to each other.

Donedoingdebt

KIRSYJ wrote: »

Begining to wish I had never asked the question!

Never be afraid to ask a question or offer your opinion.
Due to the fact that this is an open forum, you are bound to have people with completely contrasting views.
It just happens that the question you have raised is possibly the most emotive subject involving the CSA & it appears neither side is really willing to see the other's point & I'm probably as guilty of that as the rest. (See CSA & child benefit thread started by steps 40).

chilli_dog

I think some of us are being at bit harsh on Kirsty J.

We no nothing about her (think its a her) except the question she asked.

This forum is about helping people to save / manage money, not give moral or ethical advice.

Sola

My stepson is 18, nearly 19, and in fulltime education. We'll continue to pay maintenance to his mother while he's studying; the other option is to pay the maintenance to him and have him negotiate housekeeping with her. After that, when he works he'll pay his own way, but I expect we'll help with car/housing costs in the first few months while he gets on his feet to start with. We're not a tap to be turned off at some given point as we're bonded as a family; we'll treat him the way our parents treated us - some financial support and a lot of encouragement for him to become independent. But to be fair, we're dealing with a teen who's never gone off the rails.

mary43

My son is paying CSA for his two teenage children and has done since they were five after his partner left for another man.
His partner worked full time as did her new man, they were very comfortable financially and the children want for nothing. His CSA payments were assessed not taking into account his former partners earnings and that of her new man .........they afforded holidays abroad, brand new furnishings etc. while my son had to live in a bed sit.
He now has a new partner and a new baby who his older children adore and see regularly but his CSA payments take quite a chunk out of his money making it difficult for him to provide for his new son.
He has never resented paying towards their upkeep but I do feel it unfair that there is no consideration when assessing payments of the financial situation of the mother and her partner.
I do feel for kirsty in this situation..............my grandchildren will soon reach an age when they will decide whether or not to work or go to university.......and if they do the latter my son and his current family will continue to suffer a degree of hardship.
I have never understood how or why the CSA system works as it does and it seems to be so unfair in many ways. Some mothers with children don't seem to receive what they should (I had a friend in this situation and it was never rectified) and others are hit very hard.
When I had my own children I knew I had them for 'life'........not just till they left home, but once they went to college or work they supported themselves and didn't expect any financial committment from me.
Good luck kirsty and hope all goes well for you

Strapped

I agree with those posters who suggested we stick to answering the question.

jeanette251978

I live with my partner of 6 years and he has 2 children aged 9 and 12 and it is very easy for people to jump on people in our situation! Its not easy for the parent with custody of the children and it is also not easy on the parent with out custody! Some men cant afford to get there own home and as a consequence end up living with parents because they have no choice, two people created the child but it doesnt mean life stops when you split up.

You should support your children and pay your maintenance but when does it stop? it has to stop at some point, and i agree that in todays world children are molly coddled to much! when i left school at 16 years old i was made to work from day one! and i paid for my own clothes,and funded the lifestyle i chose! why should they be funded for life? They get paid by the government to go to higher education, you can work from the age of 16 so whats so wrong with asking when maintenance should stop??? I certainly wouldnt change my upbringing and thank my parents for that attitude and when i have children the same attitude will be adopted!

As for the CSA scumbags, we had a call the other night telling him that we owe £3000 as we havent paid, well we have and it turns out that the post office has mucked up and is currently under investigation but in the meantime we are being made to pay additional money that we dont have OR FACE COURT ACTION!!!!

It all stinks in this country and its about time someone recognised that the father has a right to a life aswell.