Child maintenance and voluntary redundancy payment

DUTR

Zara33 wrote: »

Believe it or not i'm not really here to argue i'm very interested in how men think in these situations...yes it takes two to make a child but sometimes i think men find it so easy to walk away (i'm wearing my tin hat ready for it)
Without a doubt my NRP would say i am a bad parent but everything i do, i do for my son.

(:whistle: what's ISS )

ISS is the International Space Station :cool:.
Yes I agree it is good to get varying viewpoints on similar situations as one coat does not fit all,and folk have to modify what they do to suit their own circumstance

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

ISS is the International Space Station :cool:.
Yes I agree it is good to get varying viewpoints on similar situations as one coat does not fit all,and folk have to modify what they do to suit their own circumstance

:eek:We really need to stop this agreeing malarky, but it's also nice to be able to discuss rather than rant (which i'm very good at). Shame i can't discuss with my NRP never mind.

LizzieS_2

DUTR wrote: »

Everybody's case is different, I know I done my 'bit' and the child lives 30 miles away but I still managed school pick ups twice a week and made 4 visits per week, what it was costing me directly was more than what I was paying the csa and plus missed overtime, so it's a reason I'm content to pay and no longer visit, everybody wins

Very sad to put your child after money.

DUTR

LizzieS wrote: »

Very sad to put your child after money.

Heh heh , bet you wouldn't say that to the mum, who would rather have extra handouts coming in

LizzieS_2

DUTR wrote: »

Heh heh , bet you wouldn't say that to the mum, who would rather have extra handouts coming in

Looking at this from my own perspective at the relevant time, money was not the first thought - it was keeping the children to the life they had and priority was actually over continued childcare to keep them mentally happier.

From your situation (sorry I'm only going from your actual posts), it seems as though your ex is happy with maximum child support, and you are happy with maximum income including overtime after child support - neither of you are considering the child in that!

DUTR

LizzieS wrote: »

Looking at this from my own perspective at the relevant time, money was not the first thought - it was keeping the children to the life they had and priority was actually over continued childcare to keep them mentally happier.

From your situation (sorry I'm only going from your actual posts), it seems as though your ex is happy with maximum child support, and you are happy with maximum income including overtime after child support - neither of you are considering the child in that!

With due respect, you don't know the mum and you don't know me.
1) I was not with the mum so the life the child 'had' has got nothing to do with money.
2) I agree in principle of contributing , I disagree in 'beggar' handout policy (please see above) , I can't pay absent father fee and be present .
3) Indeed you can only assume a scenario on certain posts but your assumption is not correct

Loopy_Girl

I'm confused by this term absent parent fee - can you clarify?

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

With due respect, you don't know the mum and you don't know me.
1) I was not with the mum so the life the child 'had' has got nothing to do with money.
2) I agree in principle of contributing , I disagree in 'beggar' handout policy (please see above) , I can't pay absent father fee and be present .
3) Indeed you can only assume a scenario on certain posts but your assumption is not correct

We would all like to get to know you

It's not an absent father fee...it's a non resident parent fee.You don't live with the child or the mother but is there anything really stopping you from having contact with the child. Has the mother stopped contact in favour of benefits

DUTR

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I'm confused by this term absent parent fee - can you clarify?

Yes the term changed to non resident parent NRP but it is still the same, why should one be punished for not living under the same roof as the child(ren) ?

DUTR

Zara33 wrote: »

We would all like to get to know you

It's not an absent father fee...it's a non resident parent fee.You don't live with the child or the mother but is there anything really stopping you from having contact with the child. Has the mother stopped contact in favour of benefits

No there is nothing stopping me, but principles :cool:, although you say (and quite rightly) it is not an absent father fee, how many women do you know that the csa chase?
I suppose if the mother worked full time and actively reduced opportunity of living off the state then I would in my own circumstance be more interested in playing a part, in my eyes it is not a good example to set for children .