Child maintenance and voluntary redundancy payment

lis69

As a PWC myself with an x that even when we were together found it the hardest job to look after the kids whilst I worked eve's (on his request!) he now has even less time or input in their lives, even though he does have them 2days out of 14, he wouldn't have the first clue about their health or education, let alone the true cost of having kids!
I couldn't let him have care of them, firstly because his work always comes first (even though he has now lost his job. He is unable to come to a school meeting with the senco or his son's hospital apt this wk!) secondly, he is a control freak that is far to selfish, oh and many more reasons...ie kids wouldn't want to!!
I do go to college now, training to gain a career for our future although thier father was unwilling to help out with the school pick up's on Thurs because his parents like doing it and he has other stuff to do....well don't we all??!!
Money aint something I have ever gone for from him and as I have said before, I know benifit help to keep us PWC's afloat, it curtainly don't give us the quality of life I first thought it would be when we had the kids together! And benifits are only there if you fit the criteria, and if you don't the what's the % split then????

DUTR

lis69 wrote: »

As a PWC myself with an x that even when we were together found it the hardest job to look after the kids whilst I worked eve's (on his request!) he now has even less time or input in their lives, even though he does have them 2days out of 14, he wouldn't have the first clue about their health or education, let alone the true cost of having kids!
I couldn't let him have care of them, firstly because his work always comes first (even though he has now lost his job. He is unable to come to a school meeting with the senco or his son's hospital apt this wk!) secondly, he is a control freak that is far to selfish, oh and many more reasons...ie kids wouldn't want to!!
I do go to college now, training to gain a career for our future although thier father was unwilling to help out with the school pick up's on Thurs because his parents like doing it and he has other stuff to do....well don't we all??!!
Money aint something I have ever gone for from him and as I have said before, I know benifit help to keep us PWC's afloat, it curtainly don't give us the quality of life I first thought it would be when we had the kids together! And benifits are only there if you fit the criteria, and if you don't the what's the % split then????

Everybody's case is different, I know I done my 'bit' and the child lives 30 miles away but I still managed school pick ups twice a week and made 4 visits per week, what it was costing me directly was more than what I was paying the csa and plus missed overtime, so it's a reason I'm content to pay and no longer visit, everybody wins

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

Everybody's case is different, I know I done my 'bit' and the child lives 30 miles away but I still managed school pick ups twice a week and made 4 visits per week, what it was costing me directly was more than what I was paying the csa and plus missed overtime, so it's a reason I'm content to pay and no longer visit, everybody wins

Am i reading this correct, everyone wins because you pay an no longer have contact with your child? Hardly winning from the childs view :rolleyes:

DUTR

Zara33 wrote: »

Am i reading this correct, everyone wins because you pay an no longer have contact with your child? Hardly winning from the childs view :rolleyes:

I don't know as I'm not a mind reader :rolleyes:, but I pay the absent father tax, so that entitles me to be absent

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

I don't know as I'm not a mind reader :rolleyes:, but I pay the absent father tax, so that entitles me to be absent

Shocking!!! and something that your proud of also *tuts*

DUTR

Zara33 wrote: »

Shocking!!! and something that your proud of also *tuts*

Heh heh, its not my fault thats for sure :A

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

Heh heh, its not my fault thats for sure :A

I will deal with you later atm i'm on a mission

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

Everybody's case is different, I know I done my 'bit' and the child lives 30 miles away but I still managed school pick ups twice a week and made 4 visits per week, what it was costing me directly was more than what I was paying the csa and plus missed overtime, so it's a reason I'm content to pay and no longer visit, everybody wins

The point i was trying to make is that you were apart of your child's life he/she seen you weekly and because of csa problems you just left...maybe there is more to your story than you have told us on here but i still can't help thinking what a shame.

DUTR

Zara33 wrote: »

The point i was trying to make is that you were apart of your child's life he/she seen you weekly and because of csa problems you just left...maybe there is more to your story than you have told us on here but i still can't help thinking what a shame.

:kisses3: aww, at least we agree it is a shame for the young one. However as said , it is not my doing, and there are somethings/people in life money cannot buy and a bloke's purpose in the 21st century is not just a walking wallet. Principally I don't see why I should pay tax, which some of it goes to benefit handouts AND pay csa for being absent AND then visit as well, I know some people assume that but I really don't have MUG imprinted on my forehead. Somebody's head has been poisoned into obtaining as much money in handouts as possible and working as little as possible, if that is an example to set for tomorrow's adults then sorry I cannot be part of that, it takes 2 to make a child, so one party has no right to put up hurdles of any description for any kind of access, those sort of traits strikes me as being a bad parent more so than being absent.
The ISS is flying past in a mo , so gotta cut this short, but rest assured I'm not missing out and won't fight or argue with anybody :iloveyou:

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

:kisses3: aww, at least we agree it is a shame for the young one. However as said , it is not my doing, and there are somethings/people in life money cannot buy and a bloke's purpose in the 21st century is not just a walking wallet. Principally I don't see why I should pay tax, which some of it goes to benefit handouts AND pay csa for being absent AND then visit as well, I know some people assume that but I really don't have MUG imprinted on my forehead. Somebody's head has been poisoned into obtaining as much money in handouts as possible and working as little as possible, if that is an example to set for tomorrow's adults then sorry I cannot be part of that, it takes 2 to make a child, so one party has no right to put up hurdles of any description for any kind of access, those sort of traits strikes me as being a bad parent more so than being absent.
The ISS is flying past in a mo , so gotta cut this short, but rest assured I'm not missing out and won't fight or argue with anybody :iloveyou:

Believe it or not i'm not really here to argue i'm very interested in how men think in these situations...yes it takes two to make a child but sometimes i think men find it so easy to walk away (i'm wearing my tin hat ready for it)
Without a doubt my NRP would say i am a bad parent but everything i do, i do for my son.

(:whistle: what's ISS )